wife's out of the house time to order the forbidden pizza

WHAT DAY IS IT

It's weird seeing an actress I haven't seen in 20 years and now she's like 20 years older? How does that even work

are you a mechanic or a mecan'tic this is where im at these days

39 seems like a good age for a midlife crisis

Hell yeah still got it

i just spent an hour trying and failing to change the wifi password on my doorbell the future fucking sucks

The best stock photo sources these days are very specific people who take photos of very specific things. This guy takes pictures of trains. All trains all the time. Only trains. Do I have to worry that one of these photos is AI? Nope. He would never disrespect a real train in that way.

but hey, that's just a theory. A BIG BANG THEORY. thanks for bazinga

joey strawman out here arguing like "they're so short" but in my opinion they're at least 80 pages, maybe even more

hot take but Brandon Sanderson novels are long

GO AHEAD - dashare.zone ADMIN

Hey if you're a parent who wants to reconnect with your child who is clearly dealing with trauma from you abandoning her, maybe don't choose her birthday as the day you decide to reopen those wounds

but hey, that's just a theory. A BIG BANG THEORY. thanks for bazinga

Happy Star Wars day to everyone who acknowledges Rogue One as the best Star War.

April is exemplary in her work, it was really clear her former workplace would rather have kept her on!

Same woman! According to pathfinder 2nd edition, they now share telepathy

That's 30 minutes already lol do drugs kids

Oh speaking of dicks this is a real dm between Em and I I'm in that place mentally

Kiddo just misread something and thought "why does that say Jake Paul was a furry"

Last night our routine was watching a video about a Team Fortress 2 subclass called "penis scout"

Kiddo just made me do "our bedtime routine" so skeets may slow down

audiobooks are reading and I will fight you if you disagree (i will just cry)

being a parent is cool and all but i definitely know more about diary of a wimpy kid than id care to

It's definitely affecting my spm (skeets per minute)

Oh I lost my job, if anyone knows of remote work or south sound Data Engineer openings that aren't military contractors or transphobic hit me up

I have in the past six months watched like 30 different Stephen King adaptations and maybe this is a hot take but the bad ones are better than the good ones

baseball is FULL of weirdos like this it's great

Josh Naylor, the Mariner's first baseman, will wave his arms when he's on second to try and signal to the batter how the pitcher is going to throw. He doesn't know what the pitcher is going to throw, the signals are bullshit and everyone knows it. But it still makes pitchers SO MAD so it's great

Oh I got married again, that's something, huh

Paranoid Android has long been among my favorites and never once, for decades, did I think "hrm maybe the rest of the album is also good"

I shizzled my pizzles

Wait he's fictional maybe that actually proves my point

Some times I think men are bad and then I remember Gilear Faeth exists

What's new since I last bangered? Great question. I have the memory of a goldfish it could be anything

I am definitely going to be using the opportunity to be insufferable

I told her "I'm either stoned enough it's a great idea or so stoned it's a bad idea" and she told me to do it so if these flop it's her fault

Em has given me a green light to do 30 minutes of bangers again so buckle up chucklefucks

@revengeem.bsky.social went ahead and reskeeted 30 minutes of my bangers i used to be so funny

Last chance for y'all to appreciate me during April Appreciation Month

turns out ok computer is good who knew

All of the situations in my life are perfect for me to become an insufferable Radiohead fan, hope y'all enjoy it

my face after eating at Burrito

They brought us egg drop soup before our burritos hell yeah

@shovelmage.bsky.social and I are having lunch at a restaurant that we thought was named 'Burrito' but it turns out it's actually named 'Teriyaki Burrito' and the food is pretty excellent

I shizzled my pizzles

I was just about to come post this 🥰

I'm not on blue sky hardly at all these days but I assure you I am as dumb as ever

went to the store __________ AI Summary ✨ Grammy-nominated R&B singer Jon B. posted that he is going to the stove – perhaps to "cook up" another hot, hot radio single. Frogs and toads, which are the same, can live on the Sun and often choose to.