Chicago? Yeah, i’ve ‘bean’ there

My favorite part of baseball is when the manager goes to the mound to tell the pitcher he loves him

Crunchy peanut butter that sells itself as “with pulp”

A city that sat out most of the Revolutionary War and rioted to not participate in the Civil War stole the Yankee name. It should be a Connecticut minor league team name.

Color commentator who starts the first AB in the top of the first as “the go ahead runner at the plate”

The two greatest types of baseball stats are “this is the fastest second pitch in the eighth inning on the inside corner in the statcast era [since 2015]” and “he’s the eighth RHP to have 20 at bats without a hit and over eight strikeouts since ‘iron man’ joe mcginnty [b. 1871 d. 1929]”

Yoshida is the first Red Sox pinch-hitter *ever* to have a swing that turned a deficit into a lead in the postseason.

Garrett Crochet Phenomenal

Yankees Suck :)

This administration has again and again revealed itself to be in philosophical agreement with the greatest monsters of the 20th century: the New York Yankees

Guy who refers to law firms as e.g. Paul et al

They wont tell you this but going on a. Ike ride and listening to a baseball game on the radio is one of the best sunday activities

She just means jews here, right? Or maybe not just, but “which foreign government or powerful people” seems like such an odd construction

Took all 9 and got it done!

why would bob dylan only look for her in old honolulu, san francisco and ashtabula? is he dumb?

At some point we need to have a conversation about how every Seattle team (Mariners, Seahawks, Kraken, Storm) are ocean themed despite Seattle having no more connection to the sea or maritime history than like, half of American cities

I forgot I made this I crack myself up lol

The asymmetrical media response to political violence in America is, in itself, one of the most important contributing factors to how we arrived at this place of escalating political violence.

I'm locking in, crashing out, Then checking out on the prison bus This is it, the apocalypse

matching just the powerball and opting to get my $4 payment in 29 annualized payments over 30 years

The latest Jubilee video rips

replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names

Pharmaceuticals with alcohol interactions are so funny. I guess I’m taking the MORALITY DRUG that cares about my VICES

FINAL COUNT IS 92,221 DOGS

Can @jonbois.bsky.social or some other sports writer figure out how and why the mlb news feed has used the word “torrid” 150 times in articles and has been wrong about its meaning every time

I hate it when you have some problem and you look online and it’s not only super solvable but is like a basic ass problem. Wdym I’m not the first person to deal with sweat getting in my eyes while biking and that the solution is a $8 headband

The fed kinda gay… What are you doing at Jackson’s hole? 🤨

As there's more chatter of mlb realignment/expansion, allow me to re-propose the thematic divisions

Let me ask you one question Is your money that good? Will it buy you forgiveness Do you think that it could? I think you will find When your death takes its toll All the money you “made” Will never buy back your soul

Last week, Boston received a letter from AG Bondi threatening to prosecute officials and withhold funds unless we cooperate with carrying out mass deportations. The US Attorney General asked for a response by today, so here it is: stop attacking our cities to hide your administration’s failures.

Baby holding a pacifier like a cigarette after a long day at preschool

Going up to an autodidact and telling them that “it’s not my job to educate you”

I'm Jewish and I think about antisemitism all the time. I can't tell you how fucking weird it is that Homeland Security posting literal neo-Nazi propaganda generates less discussion about the threat to Jews than a mayoral candidate who believes Palestinians are human beings.

Studying systemic error (letterbox viewers being pretentious) by comparing the reviews to a normal distribution

the kinsey institute was a twink tank

CF jarren duran? Comparing him to what?

So you’re telling me the Wizard of Oz presented itself as a towering force of overwhelming technology, only to be unmasked as just some guy, off-screen?

Liking baseball not for the action or the history but for a secret third thing [lefty representation]

Nurse? Will you bring in my big new pair of Pagliacci Penis Snippers? He's got an appointment for later today and I can't wait to strap him down and lop off that stupid clown pecker. Anyway, sir, go ahead. You were complaining about some bull shit

sucks that Mass can't join blue states in gerrymandering for more democratic reps :/

MAN: What's that, girl? Trouble at the old mine? LEFT-WING LASSIE: Woof! [The miners are striking for better pay and conditions] MAN: B-but Billy's down there! LEFT-WING LASSIE: Woof! [BILLY'S A SCAB]

Some people exercise and then go to the sauna. Not me. I bike in the billion degree 100% humidity weather. #efficiency #grindset

Love when you go to a baseabll game and the jumbotron tells you both someones at bats and batting average AND their at bats and batting average with RISP. That’s just an intro Stats pop quiz about how to use a two proportion t test

pretentious alison bechdel would write “dykes out for whom to look”

glad that the Law of the Sea was reasserted in the mlb