This only happens to you once

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

My spouse has this thing he calls “grasshopper moments” —from when he was a kid and he realized that grasshoppers are called that because they hop in the grass. I was today years old when I realized that quart is short for a quarter of a gallon. As in a quart of milk. I have a PhD.

Finally got land-based high speed internet at my house in the boonies. 🛜 Me ripping the Starlink antenna off my roof:

“At the Sept. 22 briefing, Trump said he spoke with Kennedy about autism 20 years ago: ‘We understood a lot more than a lot of people who studied it,’ he said.” *screams into the abyss*

I’d like to see Max Johnson play, sooner than later today

Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend. (also: you are important and are not alone 🧡)

Blue is a menace

Leonardo Da Vinci’s To-Do List from 1490: The Plan of a Renaissance Man

[To the tune of Eleanor Rigby] 🎶 Patty and Linda Young tufted pufflings Start out with dark feathers and beaks Stay camouflaged

Just wow 😵‍💫 #MolluscMonday

number 8 peaches, painted by mary daisy arnold, 1938

Because of REASONS, I’ve walked past my local Equatoguinean embassy every day so far this week, and if you think I’m telling you this purely as an excuse to use the word “Equatoguinean” and to post a flag of #EquatorialGuinea made badly out of Lego, you’re absolutely correct 🇬🇶

dog ear a book and Mayor McCheese will beat your ass

I’ve received a half dozen of these spam texts in the last couple weeks. How are these supposed to work exactly?

Timeline cleanse

his father was unavailable for comment

I need the NFL to know I’m capable of watching a football game without any Mannings

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

I still miss that part of 2020 when it was illegal for anyone to come near me

#thefarside #farside #comic https://www.thefarside.com/2025/09/02/3 “Dang it, Monica! I can’t live this charade any longer! I’m not a telephone repairman who stumbled into your life—I’m a Komodo dragon, largest member of the lizard family and a filthy liar.”

FYI: For you YouTubeTV folks like me, this hidden gift for $33/mo off for two months was available for me. It's in your settings/base plan. 9to5google.com/2025/09/04/y...

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has agreed to restore more than 100 websites and resources to the state they were in, said Graham Short, a spokesperson for the Washington State doctors’ group. apnews.com/article/heal...

btw this timeline of worsening paul silas facepalms is still the single greatest encapsulation of the charlotte bobcats 2011-12 season, in which they won seven games web.archive.org/web/20120729...

This remarkable owl door was hand carved in the 1930s and is located near Copenhagen, Denmark. The beak doubles as a door knocker 🦉

FSU gonna file another suit to leave the ACC when the Leon County courthouse opens on Tuesday.

La Décapitation de saint Georges, Bernat Martorell, 1430

A clear, crisp sunrise lights up Parc des Grandes Jardins in Charlevoix. Only an hour north of Québec City, this ✨ #ScenicSaturday ✨ shot is the perfect ode to summer and warm welcome to fall. 🌄🍂 Photo by Nunzio Guerrera, a member of the CanGeo Photo Club.

A study says that pot use in high school is up sharply. Don't I know it. Ohhhhh yeahhhhh.

Dinosaurs never ate McNuggets AND THEY ALL DIED... probably the most unhinged message to ever grace a pog. (1994)

"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.

Maybe the kids had measles

Image

A dream of 30+ years came true last night when I finally got to see The Fixx live. So cool the band is still intact and touring. 🎸🤘 @thefixx.bsky.social

A jury of my peers? TWELVE murderers?!

Spoon just casually dropping new shit on a random Tuesday is wild.

🙌🐏🩵

The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Why couldn’t the jalapeño practice archery? Because he didn’t habanero. 😁 🌶️ 🏹 #dadjoke @docatcdi.com

I love my local radio station so much. If yours is supported by donations, be sure to support them. @wncw.bsky.social just played this Talking Heads cover that I’d never heard before. Iron & Wine and Ben Bridwell - This Must Be the Place youtu.be/jXBHPBEPblU?...

Del Monte Daniel Craig Popsicles (2009-2009): To celebrate National Ice Cream week in the UK, Del Monte decided to release cranberry, blueberry, and pomegranate "ice lollies" modeled after the shirtless torso and head of actor Daniel Craig

An executive for The Masked Singer snorts an entire rail in one go and prepares to make the pitch of his life

Lunchables are just charcuterie for kids