years ago an emmy-winning comedy writer posted this in a DM group and I’ve thought about it literally every day since (anonymized and shared with permission)

I swear there are moments when it seems like Aho’s ceiling is “top 5 player in the league if he can find the juice.”

We’re due for the ‘25-‘26 “overtime is broken” piece that no one who can change it will read.

SEBASTIAN AHO IS THE GREATEST OVERTIME PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF SPORT.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY ADULT SON SETH JARVIS?!?!?

god I hate capitalism

Again it’s not good that the most prominent leaders of the party keep insisting it’s a trap to talk about “identity” when the Trump administration is pushing white supremacy.

Megyn Kelly is going to have to do some real gymnastics when she amends her stance to “of course 15-year-olds are too young when it’s Bill Clinton and JP Morgan but not when it’s Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump.”

I do think it's wild that the people who refuse to make a distinction between legal immigrants, legal asylum seekers, immigrants without papers, and hardened criminals now want us to parse out the distinction between different kinds of pedophiles.

So old I remember when it was considered a political liability to hand out a presidential pardon to your son in law’s drug dealer buddy who went on to commit crimes of violence and sexual offenses. nypost.com/2025/11/11/u...

Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day

The cult is so impenetrable that they’re now defending Jeffrey Epstein himself because they can’t deny their dipshit overlord was a part of his pedophilia ring.

Predictable but still amazing to watch people who spent literally years accusing every librarian, teacher, and trans person they could find of sexually grooming children suddenly throw themselves in with "actually it's ephebophilia"

I have never heard V Fib described as a “flare up” holy shit the press is doing a lot of work to ensure sick people sound healthy.

We've downgraded ourselves to a society in which literally everything can be broken down into horserace politics. I need a shower.

Good thing his insurance premiums haven't doubled.

Gang, I cannot emphasize enough that these emails not only have me on the Epstein Murder Conspiracy Theory train, but I now believe in the pee tape more than I have since the early days of when we stupidly believed Mueller was working on something.

Having it on hand to reappear but waiting for the right moment is some real chef's kiss shit, my friends. Artists rule.

After jealously hearing about music league for a while, I was finally invited to join one only to learn that the whole thing is powered by Spotify. I hate everything.

Imagine telling me in late August that this tweet would come as a relief.

You don't need Starbucks today. But Starbucks needs to know they can't just downsize their way out of union power.

It's going to be so weird when the Democrats have to pivot from "look at this boatload of (more) proof that this asshole is a pedophile" to "we need this pedophile to meet us halfway on health care."

This is the thing. It really is this easy. Trump should resign and so should everyone who enabled him to hide this. And that likely includes more Democrats than I'll be comfortable with, but oh well.

As all this disgusting Epstein shit starts surfacing more and more, I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that apparently every major media outlet knew everything and instead spent their time money and energy attacking the trans community.

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

On Dec. 8, 2015, Jeffrey Epstein offers a NY Times reporter photos of Donald Trump and "girls in bikinis in my kitchen." Epstein tells the reporter that he "gave" Trump his "20 year old girlfriend...after two years." When people looked into these type of rumors the Times smugly criticized them.

This is the grossest possible mad libs.

AOC: "It is unconscionable that what we are debating right now is legislation that will give 8 senators over $1 million a piece & we're robbing people of their food assistance & healthcare to pay for it. How can we vote to enrich ourselves by stealing from the American people?"

Do...do the Epstein files have the pee tape?

Another thing this email trove has convinced me of is that NYT has been actively and consciously helping Trump since 2015. It wasn't just casual sexism, double standards, and political reporting Kayfabe. They were doing catch and kill

The seven days are gonna be a shotgun blast of awful to distract, obfuscate, and whip votes against the release. As the poet once said, “hold onto your butts.”

Important to understand the Epstein stuff and the fascism and the corruption are, in a lot of ways, really all the same story from different angles: powerful men who can and do abuse vulnerable people around them because they can, and because systems of elite accountability catastrophically failed

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IS GUNNING FOR A SOCCER BALL PEACE PRIZE.

I am constantly the most upset that the country has been toppled by the stupidest goddamn dipshits…

Look, I don't think I sit on the high throne of moral authority, contrary to the tone of some of my better skeets. But those emails AT THE VERY LEAST prove that Trump knew what Epstein was and didn't to a single goddamn thing right with that information.

TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence! Real conspiracies: To: conspirator From: famous person Attachment: evidence.png

I gotta say I'm really surprised that we haven't gotten news that Mike Johnson doesn't know anything about this yet.

They don't think you're stupid, but they definitely think the people who voted them in are. And that's all they think they need to fool.

Gang, I crushed it at the gym today. Do not repeat this insight.

POTUS gave a convicted child sex abuser favorable treatment, and dangled the prospect of a pardon, so she would tell lies about if he was implicated in her crimes. That's not speculative or circumstantial, it's a cold hard proven fact, in and of itself more than enough to demand removal from office.

The Liberty Bell is actually, famously, breakable

My takeaway from every new Epstein revelation is that some powerful people victimized many powerless young women, many more knew, some actively enabled it--and we're still being told that MeToo and accountability for sexual violence have gone too far

You guys wanna see a dead body?

Democrats at every level of power could simply repeat "he must resign" over and over and over again. It's what the GOP would do if the situation were reversed. Further erode his power by pushing him to lash out more.

Look, Donald Trump may have had a lengthy, well documented friendship with America’s most famous pedophile, and he may have spent decades giving quotes like “if there’s one thing I love, its beautiful girls—young ones, too,” but I just need 4-5 more drops of damning evidence to buy these accusations

It’s funny that Harvard has been a consistent target for reactionary campaigns, and not one has been dedicated to ousting Larry Summers, an openly political figure who was friends with Jeffrey Epstein; meanwhile, it’s a fine-toothed comb for *checks notes* Black women.

America is torn. Most think Trump is a terrible pedophile, while a solid 90% of Republicans still believe that he's a wonderful pedophile.

Folks, the reporting is that Trump is making PERSONAL CALLS to Mace, MTG and others about the discharge petition. Would you be doing this if you had nothing to hide? Let's please all be serious here.

I love this.