If a Supreme Court justice is willing to publicly call out Brett Kavanaugh as a silver-spoon doofus who has no idea what life is like for people who aren't rich white guys, I promise you that the justices are saying some WILD stuff about him in private

[low whistle]

a capsule machine gave me a toy frog with a compass on its back, so now i keep announcing the direction we’re walking. it’s quote “insufferable”. im facing south right now btw

When we take back power, I do not want unity or healing, I want revenge. I also don't want a lecture on "but that's just like Trump, he wanted revenge." He was wrong, we are right. It's different. Get a moral compass. Revenge or sit down. Call it "justice" if you must, it's that too.

the south welsh heterosexual wrangler is a menace

Saw a couple of pigeons eating a piece of bagel in a park. Real pigeon stuff. I told them good job and keep it up.

Yesterday Trump proposed a US-Iran "joint venture" toll:

"Check out this new Trump post"

<me, standing outside of four seasons total landscaping and talking to no one in particular>: I’ve called this press conference to decry the scurrilous rumor that I was the muse for Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie”

ill say this for bluesky, youre never gonna miss an anniversary for a day the confederacy ate shit

lol. lmao

'of being a man, which she is not' that's the kind of detail you get from an authentic post from the most powerful man in the world's slowly degenerating brain, instead of an underling trying to fake it

everyone on earth to the leader of the free world:

also while we were talking about the funny posts hall of fame I completely forget to bring up this all-timer, which made me cry laughing several times over multiple days

I wish everyone involved an extremely bad time

(laudatory)

best excuse to get off the phone ever lmao

happy Appomattox Day to celebrate it, I think we should all resolve to stop telling ourselves lies like "only the very richest southern people owned slaves" bzzt wrongo it was tons and tons of us - 20-50% of southern households, 30% median - my ancestors included www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRs2...

It matters to remember the Confederates as unambiguous bad guys in American history because any nation's identity is in large part defined by the narrative of the villains we've defeated: monarchism in the Revolution, the Nazis in WWII, and alongside those, the white supremacist slave power.

On Confederate Surrender Day, I give you the Liberator's take on Jefferson Davis: "We believe Jefferson Davis to be the worst man in all history. He was a repudiator and slaveholder. He has been a secessionist, a traitor and rebel....He has sedulously endeavored to subvert our free institutions."

pictured: the most in need of therapy guy to have ever lived

In nationally televised address, Melania asks people to stop looking at aerial photos of Barbra Streisand's house.

were it me, i would not frame the conflict with iran as one being in which the current iranian regime are the good guys

MELANIA: You want me. Out of nowheres. To remind every one. Of my best friend, and child sex monster. Jeffrey Epstein?? (squints evilly) NATHAN FIELDER: (voice over) The First Lady loved my idea.

The ballroom foreign steel story — www.nytimes.com/2026/04/08/u... — is huge. It perfectly illustrates why we have virtually every rule involved in government spending and the allocation of power to spend. It's a perfect issue spotter beyond the capacity of professors to imagine.

baffled tbh

cannot stress enough that a Rahm Emanuel is the #1 "worst-case while still even mildly plausible" presidential outcome for 2028

Those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it; those who do study history are doomed to imagine future students of history getting to their period and going “oh ho ho ho fuck yeah”

Gov. Pritzker: "I know the Republicans say Democrats aren't patriotic. We're more patriotic. We believe in this country more than they do. They're tearing down the laws. They're operating in an unconstitutional fashion. They elected somebody who is ruining our democracy."

the Pontiac Aztek - which entered production in 2000 for the 2001 model year and was cancelled from the lineup in 2005 - lasted longer than the confederacy

this woman is going to cause me permanent brain damage (laudatory)

I am once again asking when we will get Union band of brothers

I'm an American socialist and I endorse this message

For those of us who remember the Clinton years, the "it's actually illegal to investigate a president" stuff has been wild.

I have seen one good example of this plate

Happy "America whooped the Confederacy's ass" Day to all who celebrate:

bad news for people who get worked up about this sort of thing: "grizzled veteran" in mlb is about to mean guys born in 1998

dad: so whats the deal with the war me: *speaks for 5 min* dad: wow that is an impressive analysis me: thanks I took it from a person I follow online who is a subject matter expert dad: oh whats their name me: They are a cartoon dog wearing underwear as a face mask called Piss Prevail On Earth

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

experts told us years ago to apply head-on directly to the forehead, and america ignored those simple instructions, and now gasoline is eight dollars a gallon

Pope Leo takes a spin at a basketball trick with an assist from the Harlem Globetrotters.

people will scold you for joking around when things seem really scary and fucked up. brother, those are the times what we invented joking around for

Let's get #StupidSuez trending

computer, enhance

A+

tell me more about race communism because i'm not at a no but i need some information first

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms