practing a new form of mindfulness i call "fun computer" where i spend time at my desk but im not looking at things that make me sad or mad

Went for a walk last night and ran into a couple of street toughs

i gotta find a titty to suck before the world ends

My brisket bring all the girls to the yard

The Brisket Sniffer

I’m slowcooking a delicious brisket right now none if you motherfuckers can touch me

Triggered by The Golden Girls

Scientists: "Food gives you energy" Me after eating:

Buttercup hopes everyone is having a great weekend.

Has anyone checked in on Caitlin?

(doing CPR) come on you son of a bitch. Stay with me. (unbuckling his pants and jacking him off) Don't you fucking die on me. You son of a bitch (sucking him off) Stay away from the light now

Trump bootlicker Hughes brothers on SNL… time to dust off my favourite screencap

(whispering to guy next to me as we learn that we have to cut off our thumbs or else Jigsaw will explode our eyeballs in our skulls) Holy Shrimp

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

This part is like something out of a @sgj.bsky.social book 🥹

they’re ready to fuck

Yoko & Mouse

Hearing about this new trend. It's called brown hair

Quinn Hughes saying the men's gold medal game was "the best game of hockey anyone has ever played or watched" is the most Trump coded bullshit about a game that was just okay. Not even the best Canada vs USA game, the top 3 of those aren't even men's games.

A Canadian Hero left this Quinn Hughes jersey outside the Hockey Hall of Fame today.

Rich loser sons absolutely ascendant. Grim stuff

caleb hearon is channeling my vibe in this clip about clavicular (or however it’s spelled). some people are way too online and need to pull back from obsessing about all these freaks.

Having a little animal in your house never gets old

If you have the means, please donate to the Trans Continental Pipeline right now. They are a Colorado based org that helps trans people relocate and they are overwhelmed with requests. Colorado borders Kansas, and TCP has the infrastructure to help get people out. tcpipeline.org

just stumbled upon an antique shop named 'the past & the curious' which

Thinking about turning my life around and achieving some modicum of personal and professional success. Perhaps even becoming respected and loved by all.

Can the Leafs get rid of Auston Matthews already

Suprised

Man Proud Of Hair On Ground After Haircut https://theonion.com/man-proud-of-hair-on-ground-after-haircut/

I will never forget when people were hoarding hand sanitizer like it was pure uncut

if you actually enjoy getting mad about shit you already knew there is a person you can talk to about that and often their fee is at least partially covered by insurance if you have insurance.

Gavin Newsome start running bitch

Wow you’re a chad that’s mogging him? Did you win the internet too?

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

Saw someone on Threads suggest that John Davidson purposely yelled out the n-word during the BAFTAs as some kind of guerrilla Tourette's awareness campaign, and that legit sounds like a lost episode of Nathan For You.

Is the president mocking the U.S. women’s hockey team on a celebratory call with the men’s team going to attract even an iota of the sustained handwringing that the idea of trans athletes disadvantaging women’s sports has gotten

I'm sending him back

Sure why not buddy.

thinking about how Savannah Guthrie had to cancel her trip to work the Olympics because of her mom’s kidnapping but the guy who heads up the investigative body handling the case was posting pictures of himself in the US hockey locker room today lol

Apprehended