We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

American Slothic. Not even sorry. #art #AmericanGothic #sloths

Every other burger’s doing it.

Chewie is British, hence his refusal to learn any other languages and making himself understood by the simple act of SPEAKING LOUDLY

Where does the gift begin and the bell end?

Me: How much for the big goth torpedo? Marine scientist: That’s an orca.

BuT wE’rE dUmBiNg It DoWn!!!!!! No one in the history of reading has ever complained that a piece of writing was too easy to read.

Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads Wichita Lineman - Glen Campbell Grace - Jeff Buckley Starless - King Crimson Signal to Noise - Peter Gabriel Hail, Mary - Shearwater Selfless, Cold and Composed - Ben Folds Five Cinema Show - Genesis Anesthetize - Porcupine Tree Happiness is Easy - Talk Talk

Just because you have a friend who plays trombone that doesn’t mean the universe is telling you to start a ska band

Me, the company copywriter, when they ask at the start of the MS Copilot course if anyone does any writing:

Suburban Sunday afternoon Birmingham in April. The gentle sounds of sparrows coughing and the heady aroma of Max from number 5’s special herbal cigarettes wafting in on the breeze.

"My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo." "Kuala Lumpar?" "No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

The good Doc is the source of my avi. You know you want one too, don’t you?

I’m going to a garden centre with my wife and mother-in-law today.

“…and nothing of value was lost.”

Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.

There’s little that can reduce you to tears quite so exquisitely as the right piece of music at just the right time. That said, a well timed football to the testicles does come close though.

Nobody seems to be mentioning that Boris Johnson failed his security vetting and Theresa May still made him Foreign Secretary. Then the Tory members made him Prime Minister still without clearance. Conveniently forgotten by the media and by the Tories who are calling for Starmer’s resignation.

What in the name of Eldritch Protein is that grey thing?

And the woman did speak unto the hound, saying, What do you mean, normal men, and the hound answered the woman, saying, We are just innocent men. And great was her emotion

Petition to ensure Vance comes over to endorse Farage in the next election.

Wow. J D Vance: - kills the Pope - helps Orban lose an election - fails at diplomatic negotiating He really is a triple threat, isn’t he?

(My wife listens to me taking a work call and being all professional) “I’m sorry, is this the same person who can’t find the Branston pickle in the fridge when it’s *right at the front*?”

There is no McTry.

One of the all time funniest lines and one that I persist in using every time I hear sirens despite the inevitable eye rolling.

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

The Great Man Theory of History is largely bunk but the Irredeemable Shithead Theory of History remains undefeated

Typical. Same teams in the final of the Boat Race. The team from Birmingham College of Food and Tourism nowhere to be seen. It’s who you know, isn’t it?

In hindsight it was a bad idea to allow journalism to become a daycare for gossipy dullards with rich parents

This could be the worst thing the Americans do this year.

Actually he's only called Benedict Cumberbatch if you're from Coventry. In other parts of the UK he's Benedict Cumberoll, Benedict Cumberbun, Benedict Cumberbarmcake, and so on

Hear me out. Keep the State Visit, but send Princess Anne instead.

Princess Anne continues to merge with the Christopher Walken meme

Watching the NASA livestream for #Artemis and they’re talking about weights in pounds and I’m thinking “how quaint”.

You can start a sentence with “and”. And I strongly recommend you do so.

People showing you things they used genAI to do is the equivalent of a cat doing a sick in your lap and looking at you for approval

Fascinated by Marco Rubio’s hairline. It’s almost entirely without substance or form. It is liminal, unreachable: a madman’s lilo. A cow’s memory of war

At these prices?

I’m in Amsterdam and it turns out the songs are true.

I see your mum’s built an extension.

My wife forgot her glasses and is borrowing mine to read the restaurant menu and when did we become a couple that shared reading glasses?

Henry is giving strong “Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor in back of car” vibes here.

I’m in Amsterdam and, in one of the most European mornings possible, I’ve drunk wine on a boat, visited a cheese museum and bought some absinthe.

First night in Amsterdam and I’ve been introduced to bitterballen for the first time and oh my god where have you been for the last 55 years.

So at Birmingham Airport they’re doing some building works. Meaning they’ve shut off all escalators and stairs. This is the queue for the lifts.

Look, you do Easter eggs your way…

Today’s Squardle had several US English names for foodstuffs and quite possibly this is the worst thing the USA has done in recent weeks.

Wife just told me this one: What’s the difference between Iran and Vietnam? Trump had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

Probably overthinking this a bit.