In other words, Hegseth was outed as a war criminal by a fellow Iraq vet who got the story from presumably high-level military officials inside the Pentagon. In case you were wondering how the military feels about him. Hegseth should know that he can't trust anyone around him in that building.

Hi everybody, It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships. Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post. This is, somehow, feasible. So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.

I'm old. If you're not, listen to this. Get a guitar or some drums, or a trumpet. Pick up a brush, a pencil, some clay or a welder. Just make shit. It doesn't have to be good (eventually it will be) just make music, art or write or whatever. It's literally never been more important.

Just a reminder that the Salvation Army is a very anti-LGBTQ organization and you shouldn't be giving cash to them.

A member of the FBI threatened Thomas Massie's staff with criminal investigations, if he didn't "straighten up and play ball".

Today in 1988 Mystery Science Theater 3000 premiered on KTMA in St. Paul Minnesota. #MST3K

"80 years after the Nazis were tried for war crimes, the documents are online for all to see The Nuremberg Trials Project is a free and searchable database from Harvard Law School" www.cbc.ca/radio/asitha...

Fuckin rocking out

Barack Obama said he wanted to look forward and not relitigate the crimes of the Bush administration regarding torture and Guantanamo Bay. That allowed for the drone war to proliferate and for even more expansion of executive power under Trump.

This week in America:

Trump is being nicer to Mamdani than Democratic leadership was lol

donald trump endorsed zohran mamdani before chuck schumer lmao

Mamdani right now….

“It was a Great Honor meeting Zohran Mamdani, the new Mayor of New York City!”

Trump feuding with Marjorie Taylor Greene but being in love with Zohran Mamdani was not on my November 2025 bingo card

After that meeting, I'm never playing poker against Zohran Mamdani.

Today is the day that Zohran Mamdani truly became president

Seconds into the meeting Mamdani bites down on the specially-prepared crown on his tooth releasing the woke mind virus, instally transforming everyone in the room into a socialist.

ICE’s Detention Center outside Chicago was sued on October 30 for allegedly abusing detainees. One day later, a "system crash" lost all video footage that could have shown how detainees were being treated. trib.al/QwT3aqI

Remember Jamal Khashoggi.

Listen. He's always been a piece of shit. But DEMENTIA DESTROYS DECORUM - my mom would never insult anyone before dementia. It slowly killed her filter, and she became rude. Granted, he didn't have much decorum before. But he didn't drop f-bombs or call women "piggy" on camera. He's deteriorating.

I didn't think I could be any more incandescently furious at this guy than I already am. I was wrong.

Trump suggests Khashoggi had it coming: "You're mentioning someone that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn't like that gentleman that you're talking about. Whether you like him or didn't like him, things happen. But he knew nothing about it. You don't have to embarrass our guest."

Everything I am learning about Olivia Nuzzi I am learning against my will.

It does feel like we're all going insane. We *know* he's implicated in Epstein's abuse. He's lashing out, in a misogynistic way, when questioned about it. We know. Why isn't every news stations 24hour coverage of the president being a child abuser? It should be wall-to-wall

"Quiet! Quiet, Piggy."

The Department of Unsubtle Metaphors continues to exceed expectations

I can’t believe how stupid everything is

How very fitting having a clown speak at the McDonald’s summit.

Online child sexual abuse material (CSAM) has been getting noticeably less attention and follow-up from authorities, per NYT, as the DHS is overwhelmingly used for Stephen Miller’s immigration crusade www.nytimes.com/2025/11/16/u...

“Maybe the $2,000 dividend was the friends we made along the way?”

AAAAAAAHH

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

Canach: If we're sly, we can bypass them. Me:

I read this quote from Year of the Tiger earlier today, and the loss of Alice Wong hit me anew. “The real gift any person can give is a web of connective tissue. If we love fiercely, our ancestors live among and speak to us through these incandescent filaments glowing from the warmth of memories.”

A few weeks ago I was talking politics with a local, highly straight, bartender. All the sudden he said: “Well, I think a big part of the problem is that so many of the people who would’ve been our progressive leaders died of AIDS & can’t help us now.” And I’ve thought about that every day since.

To negotiate a trade deal with the President of the United States, the Swiss government arrived with a "special Rolex desktop clock" and "a 1-kilogram personalized gold bar" www.axios.com/2025/11/14/t...

We could've had VP Tim Walz sharing his Thanksgiving dressing recipe right now, but no

We are *thisclose* to overlapping with the romantasy community

See that Rolex clock and gold bar? It looks like those Swiss gifts paid off. Trump cut tariffs on Swiss goods — like luxury watches — from 39% to 15%. While Trump’s tariffs increase prices for Americans, billionaire CEOs and foreign companies sucking up to Trump get relief.

Whether it’s Barack Obama, appearing in a tan suit or Donald Trump appearing 1700 times in Jeffrey Epstein‘s emails, both presidents made some highly controversial appearances.

What a time to be alive

We knew the Epstein case would end with Trump going down. Didn’t realize it also started with him going down.

From this minister's op-ed: "People wanting to experience God are more likely to meet the Divine trying to shut down the Broadview, Illinois, ICE facility than we ever were in church...God does not live in our houses of worship, but...with those who are bearing the brunt of cruelty in this moment."

The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.

Re: Epstein’s emails