"I run a bum fight ring on the outskirts of Oslo. I hope you can forgive me."

Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2024 Olympics: Ah, it’s great how into the Olympics this guy is. Me when Snoop Dog appears at the 2026 Olympics : Oh Christ, this guy again.

That's a big ol' 1 for your old pal Philsey, who apparently is just a remorseless eating machine, except as it pertains to cottage cheese. (Not going to pretend I go out of my way to eat coconut, black licorice or lima beans, but I can knock them out without a fuss.)

While it pales in import to Ivan Dixon's work on "The Spook Who Sat by the Door" or his performance in "Nothing But a Man," he also directed 13 episodes of "Magnum PI" and in this house, we amplify Magnum-adjacent projects.

I wish I could tell you there was an easy shortcut you could employ to disable Face ID on your iPhone if you're approached by John Q. Law. But for that to happen, Apple's going to need to get involved: sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...

Republican investigator, watching and rewatching the Super Bowl halftime show: Hmmmm, still Latino.

What could possibly go wrong?

The YouTube algorithm has decided I need to watch Bob Hope introduce the AP All-American football team on his old holiday specials. The YouTube algorithm knows me well.

Apparently, my metric for failing to rally behind an Olympic athlete is “They look like they’d be rude to food servers.”

This reboot of Watership Down has taken a grim turn.

In which I reveal that I'm smarter than Joel McHale, or at least smarter than Joel McHale's character on Animal Control. sixcolors.com/post/2026/02...

Catapults are what I'll make Walking on the moon With the ketamine I take Walking on the moon

I, for one, am relieved that the messiest athletes at these Olympic games are also the ones that are most heavily armed.

Caldo verde, gang.

And occasionally agree with it if you’re one of his podcast guests.

Like 75% of the US Olympic curlers are from Minnesota. A lot of them curl out of two clubs in Saint Paul, one club is in Frogtown, a neighborhood that has been very heavily targeted by ICE. These curlers are good neighbors.

This was well done by @jacobfeldman.bsky.social (it's very helpful. But also.... maybe leagues and networks shouldn't make this so confusing to the point where a full 16-box flow chart is required to figure out how to watch baseball.

All bronze medalists should have to confess their sins

When Roger Goodell leaves town and takes his weather-controlling machine with him.

I mean, for the Maple Leafs, the Stanley Cup sort of has been eliminated, no?

Yes, Bad Bunny was a fine half-time performer. But I repeat the call I make every year to the NFL: Please bring back the mind-blowing magic of Elvis Presto. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpqG...

<guy who has covered Apple for the last quarter-century and change> I think Apple played a big part in this

Time for Bill Simmons to forget he’s a Patriots fan.

in the final game of his college career, Texas punter Michael Dickson punted so much and so effectively that he was named MVP of the bowl game they were playing in and tonight it is going to happen again

Still time to get Steve Grogan into the game.

Skeets from 2021

I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them

The Sermon on the Mount, by Beryl Lewis, before 1965, 📸 by @ScottStrazzante

And that’s numberwang. #SuperBowlLX

We interrupt this meh football game for a pan-seared steak with Stilton, potatoes seared in duck fat and a kale salad. No yogurt, Bobby, Jr.

what a shot

Only one who got the ball into the end zone was Bad Bunny

When you inevitably hear conservative commentators fill their diaper about the halftime show, my teenage daughter was enraptured by it, and I think that’s the audience we’re going for here.

“Hands at 2 and 10, mister,” someone (me) just shouted at Bad Bunny.

If I were booking halftime show artists, I would simply book the _best_ bunny.

Excited for the movie where they send Ryan Gosling to make sweet love to the sun

Every time an Academy Award-winning actor appears in a commercial, I think “Wow, do you have gambling debts?”

“You don’t want it. You don’t need it. You certainly can’t afford it. But we made it, goddamnit, and if someone doesn’t start buying it soon, Christmas is canceled.”

“Great coverage by the Mariners,” I may have muttered, suggesting baseball season needs to start or I need to dial back the bourbon or even both.

I have subscribed to Peacock using 5 different email addresses to juice up the Halftime Show numbers. All my fellow leftists are doing this to bring down Kid Rock, as a broader part of enacting the American Century of Humiliation.

Not the first time I’ve teared up over home ownership, Redfin.

Boy, wait until the junior varsity teams give way to the main teams.

Jay-Z and lady friend

AI ad, followed by ad for the new season of Ted in case you’re wondering why I’m spending this drive staring off into the middle distance, contemplating the heat-death of human endeavor.

Sorry, Apartments dot com and Homes dot com — call me when you’ve launched Yurts dot com.

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,

I missed this part in the Muppet Show reboot. That pompous eagle must be furious.

There’s something perfectly beautiful about Colin Jost and Michael Che half-assing their way through a gambling ad. Really captures the tenor of their time on SNL.