The Bartleby the Scrivener of breakfast foods

If bowl games are increasingly hard to justify, bowl games in cold-weather cities should never, ever happen. Cal may have ruined Christmas, but at least everyone got to spend some time in Honolulu.

AI-generated R. Lee Ermey appears next to AI-generated Earl Anthony. "Go bowling," an angry AI-generated R. Lee Ermey bellows into the camera. "That's an order, son." AI-generated Earl Anthony gives a thumbs up; however he has seven thumbs.

We're all focusing on Nic Cage's appearance, and rightly so. But as a stadium nerd, I gotta ask — what is the deal with that stadium in the background with its view-obstructing poles and weird terraces and haphazard tunnels? Does this movie suggest John Madden called Serie A matches?

The missus wanted to watch White Nights (1985) though I secretly suspected there wouldn't be much in the movie for me. (A correct assumption.) But I comforted myself with the fact that if nothing else, I'd get to watch Mikhail Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines — 2 accomplished dancers! — do their thing.

Two thoughts on this, as a Californian: 1) Oh no, not the billionaires! Whatever will I do without Peter Theil glowering at me from his mansion? (enjoys another delicious taco on a beautiful day) 2) Won’t the fleeing California billionaires be squeezed out by the billionaires fleeing NYC?

In one of his movie guides, Leonard Maltin had this as the entry for 1948's Isn't It Romantic: "No."

The daughter and @lschmeiser.bsky.social are watching Stranger Things. I can’t see the TV from where I’m siting, but here’s my impression of the soundtrack: <squish> <zlurp> <glurggg> <pfffffft> <drippy noise> <squelch>

It is the birth of our Lord. Mark Cuban has decided to mark it by posting endlessly about Medicare for all.

The difference between celebrating Christmas with a younger child -- Excited! Up before anyone! Let's get cracking on those presents! -- and a teenager -- I am going to have to use a comically oversized pizza peel to pry her out of bed -- is staggering.

Speaking of significant December 25 birthdays…

Merry Christmas. I’m not sure if this is a Christmas song. youtu.be/a-hFV5BzA1c?...

Nick Rolovich Steve Mariucci 🤝 RUINING CHRISTMAS

Cal football: the director changes but the plot never does.

I am apparently so annoying that people at this Christmas Eve gathering are now openly rooting for Hawaii, even though they have no interest in football.

Cal is playing on Christmas Eve as a counterpoint to God’s mercy.

Local Man Wears Appropriately Colored Christmas Crown

The residents of Fansville are hardcore MAGA, aren’t they?

Tortillas have to be hexagonal now. Sorry. I don’t make the rules.

The 1960s Batman series looks at The Atlantic’s masthead of contributors and thinks, “Wow, what a cartoonishly over-the-top rogue’s gallery.”

Quote with your favorite pic of you from 2025

They should have included a shot in the Doomsday trailer of Chris Evans about to tear into a big loaf of artisanal bread, only to sigh and sadly put it down.

Bari Weiss may not be an actual reporter, but she sure as shit is married to one. And if I was going around town showing my full ass journalism-wise, I think my journalist spouse might pull me aside for a word or two. Easier to just let that bank balance swell up, I guess.

Good. It was terrible, and the people involved in it should feel bad. variety.com/2025/tv/news...

After I broke my arm, my bourbon consumption fell off dramatically under the theory that “painkillers + booze = stupid even for you” so I feel I shoulder some responsibility here for torpedoing our once proud hooch industry.

In The Godfather Part II, when Michael Corleone meets with Hyman Roth, Roth is watching the Notre Dame-USC game.

"Famously horny scheming vizier" would make a great WWE Attitude era persona.

After inserting himself into the LSU coaching drama, Jeff Landry has shown a skill at sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong — perfect experience for this role.

Sure, we’re all piling on Bari Weiss now, but just wait until you see CBS’s televised debate on craven bootlicking, brought to you by BofA.

After the ballet, we swing home for @philipmichaels.bsky.social an head to Yellowtail Bistro for dinner, and over their excellent seafood ramen, I tell him about this one dance and the hockey sweater, how the story probably makes sense with more context.

I don’t know who came up with Seasons Beatings 2025 in which we see a different objectionable person get pummeled in the buildup to Christmas, but I can’t wait to see who gets dropped tomorrow.

I saw the latest Knives Out movie — it’s swell. As for Christmas movies, I’m not a fan of the genre, but I think Lion in Winter is ideal for the season: Family gets together for the holiday and immediately set to squabbling and plotting. BTW, it’s Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine.

I do feel like Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon are functionally the same guy but one received love and the other didn’t like some sort of experiment by a crooked psychiatrist in 1971 and now we see what happened

Yet another SEC paper tiger humbled by a team forged in the cauldron that is Atlantic Coast Conference football.

Me, when I've had enough of those showboating Rockettes:

Jake Paul's steady stream of "Please stop hitting me" faces that accompany all the coverage of this event is, honestly, the most relatable Jake Paul content ever. I, too, am a jackass who does not like being hit.

Some see a broken arm as a setback to be endured. The great ones see it as content to be exploited. www.tomsguide.com/phones/i-nee...

If Gemini ever corrected me in front of my lady friend about a Korean roof tile that i had mistaken for an ancient book, I would smash the phone Gemini lives inside, killing Gemini dead.

Magnum, Podcast holiday episode is live. It's the thought that counts. www.theincomparable.com/magnum/113/

Two things that involve Roger Clemens

Now she can spend more time pursuing her true passion, complaining to the manager.

The Angels dragging Tyler Skaggs and so many others through the mud of that trial — while also coming out of it looking awful — and then settling is the biggest Angels thing I have ever seen.

I'm not mad, just disappointed. I am also mad. www.tomsguide.com/phones/onepl...

What is with that image? Are they waiting the arrival of the Beatles?

"Do you believe the game ended in a timely fashion? YES!"

This is my 31st year in the workforce. In that time I have attended 5 office holiday parties. As with WarGames, the only winning move is not to play.

Why I Left California By Philip Michaels

This is why you never give an inch to the bigots. All those centrists dems (Newsom, Mayo Pete) claiming there are concerns around trans kids, you're complicit in this. This doesn't get rid of trans people, it just makes them suffer unbearably. Get your head straight: trans rights are human rights.

It has taken five minutes of reading the headlines to confirm my suspicion that waking up this morning was very much a mistake.