"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—" You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.

Are dickholes not in the current meta?

I got new boxer briefs for Christmas (I asked for them). Wife got me 2 different brands. Neither of them have a dickhole in the front. What happened?

Boomers talk a lot of shit on gentle parenting for a group that gets gentle parented in the workplace and customer service interactions

as the power keeps concentrating in the hands of nazi oligarchs, shit like this becomes possible

I'm dreaming of a green christmas

No wonder he's so afraid of Chicago mf is haunted every time he's near

No wonder he's so afraid of Chicago mf is haunted every time he's near

Someone make this as a horror suspense film

The Tim Allen Santa Clause movie from the mom's perspective is a fucking nightmare

In my household, the children know Santa likes box wine.

Pretty sure I remember Santa asking for a beer, but ok

When the most toxic couple you know breaks up and makes it everyone's problem

"That wasn't his baby" Ok That's darker

With the unemployment rate going up, it'll be difficult to garnish wages that don't exist.

becoming a grinch truther....how could he steal from all those houses in one night?

Me for 3 days after walking into a spiderweb

True Bears fans have made the mistake of typing "Chicago Bears" into the Bluesky search bar and gotten an eyeful of hawg at least twice

I made it to the final round. My game hinges on the Bears defense shutting McCaffrey the fuck down this Sunday

me calling the pet store: why is my friggin frog straight

Today's high will be 78° with a 20% chance of someone saying "beautiful weather" and me responding "we're all gonna die"

remember 2022 when the Superbowl was nothing but ads for crypto and NFTs?

AI thinks it can replace the Deep State

So everyone's watching the 60 Minutes that was supposed to be banned and everyone who knows how PDFs work can unredact the Epstein files, it's like the Christmas spirit has irony poisoning this year

AI thinks it can replace the Deep State

We're gonna need cultural deTrumpification when it finally happens

@edburmila.bsky.social you said something about Xers finding out that these are not the kids they ordered. Holy shit.

Winning my fantasy football league through the sheer power of weaponized autism

it’s not masturbation it’s dopamine farming

gonna stream some more #FalloutNewVegas for a bit. feel free to stop by! twitch.tv/professional...

Land reform, but for renters

sound on 🔊

fuck the androids or fuck the androids

Literally

as a certified Aaron Rodgers hater we love seeing bad things happen to the Green Bay Packers

currently

And a beautiful finish with a long pass to Moore

GO FOR 2

Bears pull off the most clutch turnovers and I live for it

Monangai is a fucking beast Just running through people

Boxing fans been having a good week

Oh! Looks like we're getting one more episode of #MyHeroAcademia next year!

Xi, you would be welcomed as liberators

Other countries need to stop playing and realize that the US is a threat to life itself.

Land of the ████████

Has anyone publicly tried to make the argument that making the president look bad is bad for national security?

Everything is a hoax. It's all Sleepy Joe's fault. Do not look at the pedophile behind the curtain.

I watch this every year