A professional pedicab driver is offering free rides on Lyndale Ave—Tues 6-10 pm—for interested members of the media, elected officials, & regular folks. If you aren't brave enough to ride, it's an admission the current Lyndale is a menace to public safety and needs to be fixed.

Conor McGregor blows his knee apart in first THREE SECONDS of #UFC329 and promptly loses lmaoooo couldn’t have happened to a better guy!! 🤡🤡

therapy as a 31 year old white guy is sometimes “please help me process this trauma response caused by an irrational fear cultivated during my childhood” and other times it’s “listen to this twenty minute soliloquy about the economic and emotional impacts of the Giannis Antetokounmpo trade”

Mitch McConnell is dead

sitting in my Ford Focus smoking a Marlboro behind the Fine Line listening to Tedeschi Trucks

wear your seatbelts!! 🚗

Diarrhea! At The House On The Rock

I be in my girls ear like

my first ever comedy show and my first show in FOUR years! super excited to be doing this. it’s a ways out, but so excited to share this with everyone. hope to see you soon.

rural midwestern city planners when they have to name a county road after they’ve already used “Townline” and “Town Hall”

what if every road in Minneapolis was rendered useless by ongoing construction projects and we just couldn’t get anywhere in a timely manner anymore? would that be cool and fun?

new personal hell just dropped (maple grove Costco at 10am on Wednesday)

Courtney Barnett is playing songs to me in St Paul right now

fun news: i am booking shows again! nothing announced currently, but keep an eye on @easytargetbooking.bsky.social real soon!

*four hours and thirty emails into my workday* Google:

I be in my girls ear like

love how Instagram has a setting for quite literally anything you could ever imagine when uploading a reel but ignores basically every single one you selected when posting it 🤪

everybody wants to work in the music industry until it's 3:12 PM on a Friday and you're sending an email to a middle-aged white man in Boston who writes rocksteady / reggae music asking him to hire you for a promotional campaign 🤪

just watched an opossum take a shit outside our egress window #Nature

sorry to report that @lizmaebrooks.bsky.social is currently taking a nap and is unable to field questions + inform us as to why the tornado siren is currently going off 😂

Some Home Depot Corporate Guy: “What if we just fill the parking lot with trucks and other shit that makes it a nightmare to navigate? People will love that right?”

would genuinely rather stab myself in the scrotum than be inside US Bank Stadium tonight

the Franklin Ave reconstruction has officially cracked me after three weeks… my neighbors simply do not possess the courtesy or parking foresight to handle these circumstances.

I don’t know much about the economy but the fact that the Goodwill parking lots in the outer ring suburbs are consistently full by 10am on a weekday is probably a bad sign 🤷🏻‍♂️

sometimes it torrential downpour’s in April

last second decision to drive to Cub for supplies to fry up some delicious weenies for @lizmaebrooks.bsky.social after the mainroom gig led to witnessing a six vehicle rollover crash on 35W and then meeting a guy who was on the field for Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl Halftime Show at the store 🌭🐰

I’ve told Instagram no fewer than sixty four times that I do not need closed captioning on reels but nevertheless they persist.

checking my bank account for the first time after a vacation:

mayor jacob frey has vetoed the pause evictions, save lives bill the minneapolis city coucil approved that would've extended the eviction timeline from 30 days to 60 days temporarily to held families impacted by the ICE invasion catch up paying rent

Michael Kustermann and Sony Pictures Entertainment I will see you in hell for what you have done to my beloved Alamo Drafthouse! If I ever see Michael Kustermann and Sony Pictures Entertainment on the street it's ON SIGHT! 😤

Matchbox Twenty blasting across the Mall Of America sound system on a Sunday afternoon can I get a hell yeah brother

i’m going to celebrate international women’s day by being a complete cunt

I finally got to share the true height of cinema with @lizmaebrooks.bsky.social last night: the 1983 American musical drama 'Eddie and the Cruisers,' based on the novel by P. F. Kluge -- now streaming on PlutoTV! 🎸

Andy Dick reportedly has ‘5 to 7 holes in his brain’ after his latest overdose. What’s one more, bud?

Billboard Salesman: “How many ads would you like to place in Minneapolis?” HERSHEY’S:

Dropkick Murphys will be performing at an Abolish ICE fundraiser on March 8th at Black Forest Inn in Minneapolis With: Wild Colonial Bhoys Danza Ketzal Brass Solidarity Dropkick Murphys Kiss the Tiger Sophie Hiroko Chutes Obi Original Shakletons Laamar RIP Alex Pretti

devastating: the 50-foot ethernet cable that was keeping our entire apartments WiFi operation running is property of the company @lizmaebrooks.bsky.social is leaving tomorrow and needs to be returned to the office 😞

I probably would have chipped in $20 if I knew the end result was him moving to Australia.

waking up to the news that everyone hates the Two Minute Tours guy now:

and YOU didn’t do a fucking thing

“I don’t really do politics”

not sure what a night full of belittling and villainizing the trans community is going to help us accomplish right now but go off I guess 🥴

Sources: Trump is beside himself. Driving around downtown Minneapolis begging (thru texts) Noem for the the address to Liam’s home.

The Boss has landed 🙃🤓

tom emmer is a generational waste of flesh and blood

"I'm gonna give Homan the benefit of the doubt" "They should coordinate with local law enforcement, pick these people up in the middle of the night when they're not suspecting it" Walz is capitulating to fascists and encouraging night raids. Genuinely disgusting. Why would anyone settle for this?

I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good. Stay free

"You raise your voice, I erase your voice." ICE in Minneapolis are erasing your rights. Please share our new video of what's happening in our city. youtu.be/W1dyNcRGRXY

“what radicalized you?” nothing natalie maines said about george bush was incorrect or inappropriate and i knew that as a kindergartener