Things that help calm the nervous system, quickly: - Box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat) - Immerse your face in cold water (activates mammalian dive reflex) - Humming (stimulates vagus nerve) - Exercise (anything helps, outside even better) - Impeachment and removal

Can we, like, not do the “LOL TACO” thing because the alternative was pretty fucking horrendous.

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "Oh my god I feel that so hard," said Gandalf, "Fuck all this shit so much."

I don’t know what you nerds are complaining about, I’m spending the afternoon in a park. Super relaxing!

What a stupid fucking era we live in. Just epically goddamn dumb.

"Why don't Americans–" Motherfucker, I live in Minneapolis

Nothing like back to back meetings when you just want to fucking throw up

i think if you tweet "a whole civilization will die tonight" you shouldn't go to the hague, the hague should get to come to you

I know I’m supposed to just meme my way through it all on here, but fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

B1G excellence, y’all

HAIL!!!!!!!!!

My NBA opinion is no halftime show analysis is as good as simply watching a lady on a unicycle juggling bowls

my whole feed today

Abroad: Flensburg, Germany or Keelung, Taiwan. US: Pittsburgh.

As seen elsewhere on socials, #LAGalaxy fans at their game vs #MNUFC last night with another show of solidarity via tifo: "you have friends in this galaxy", with the sign of the Rebel Alliance, a nod to the Loons' supporters display of the Rebel Loon and Andor-insipired "we have friends everywhere"

Open the fuckin’ Strait youtu.be/QuJroujjYDk?...

Guardian reports from Baldwin, WI: "The girl has rarely gone outside and wakes up in the night, crying for her mother, but it’s impossible to explain to such a young child why she isn’t there" www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-i...

I’m about to book a trip to NYC and I will do it with the same bus company if it will save Bluesky

IN HONOR OF FIRST BIG THUNDER GONADS AND STRIFE

Isaac Chotiner: You say the two cats who live in your house are "Jerks" and you don't care for them Me: Absolutely. They are the burdens of my life Chotiner: It seems you spent an hour searching for special food for them and paid more for it than you do even for your own food. Me: That's--Hold on,

I’ve become my grandfather.

I don’t care if this platform is growing. I’m here to make silly little jokes and look at pics of the moon

This got a cheer that might end up being the loudest of the season at Target Field.

After taking time to connect with the Pretti family and with their consent, we are honored to share that we have created the Alex Pretti Nursing Scholarship. For those interested, you can learn more and make a gift here: crowdfund.umn.edu/campaigns/Al...

(yeah, that’s right)

Which paper is going to run with the “Bondi Beached” headline?

I think that claiming that you never wanted to downplay the issue of violence against women needs a bit more to back it up when you have signed two players credibly accused of it and made out that one of them was the actual victim on multiple occasions

Eat shiiiiiiiiiit, Pam Bondi

He is just a deteriorating meat sack filled with farts

He wants out and he can’t figure out how to do it

If you watched the live NASA channel and all the NASA programming you’ve gotta give it up to some of the best science commentators in the business. NASA is absolutely masterful at this and it’s important to note this is a priority for them. Not many other govt orgs do this level of public education.

Shout-out to every other Gen Xer that was holding their breath the entire time for the first five mintues of the launch For r e a s o n s

Today's the day.

Zoom zoom. 🌒

AWOOOOOOO

April Fools can kiss my ass.

Tag yourself, I’m barren bureaucratic apparatchik

I’m done, @tottenhamhotspur.com. Done.

This is an official statement from Cartilage Free Captain: Fuck you, @tottenhamhotspur.com. cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/tottenham-ho...

Hey @tottenhamhotspur.com

I’ve endured an awful lot of shitty soccer and even shittier decisions as a Spurs fan. I will not endure a rape and assault apologist for a manager. Straight up, I’m done if this happens.

among many other things I’m just tired of his fucking illiterate posts

FOREVER FUCK DUKE

It’s a little weird playing Bingo under Mariah Carey’s ass.

Man, it is *lovely* outside.

As seen on a gas station pump in Lakeville, of all places:

Tudor lasted approximately 4 Scaramuccis. COYS. Sigh.

This site is such a snake eating its own goddamn tail sometimes. (Derogatory)

So. Many. People.