If I could meet anyone alive or dead, it would either be Harry Kalas or Richard Dimbleby.

Oh man who will make those terrible Bob Barker videos now?

I ran a mathematical simulation as to what the 2025 MLB season would look like if they used the proposed 1998 geographical realignment. I used each team's Pythagorean win total and a 100-sided die to run each simulation. Yes, I'm a Phillies fan. No, I didn't adjust this to make sure they won. (1/4)

Phillies need to up their game for me. I’d pay twice this for a season CBP SRO pass. They’ll make it up in parking and ice cream helmets.

I ran a mathematical simulation as to what the 2025 MLB season would look like if they used the proposed 1998 geographical realignment. I used each team's Pythagorean win total and a 100-sided die to run each simulation. Yes, I'm a Phillies fan. No, I didn't adjust this to make sure they won. (1/4)

Every picture of ICE agents in airports is just this again

I’m not really a fan of all of the aviation news that is coming out considering I’m sitting here trying to plan three (possibly four) domestic trips and two international trips come this summer and fall. Like I have things to do, stop making me scared of traveling to do the things.

I realize not everyone is going to like something that a lot of people like, but I feel like all of the negative opinions on Project Hail Mary are, like, kind of snobbish? Like, people are proud that they’re going against the trend?

D-OOPS 😔

Looked up during the Union’s annual pregame hot dog drop and noticed two panels of the roof were missing over 129-132.

In Philly, at @wxpnfm.bsky.social where we make the Cafe, we've had the pleasure of working with the incredible Kathy O'Connell - host of the long running kids (and parents!) show, Kids Corner. Congrats to Kathy on a great run and for always making us smile in the office.

He didn’t die, he got promoted.

I hope Brian Fling gets kidney stones once every other week until the ghastly decision is reversed.

The Sons of Ben released a statement on the suspension of Ernst Tanner. It condemns the shadiness around it while not outright calling for Tanner to be fired. The last paragraph implies, however, that they may eventually head in that direction in the coming weeks.

Clear sabotage of Harry the K’s by a former Mets Guy ™️

I wrote about the Phillies’ annoying decision to rename Harry the K’s at Citizens Bank Park: open.substack.com/pub/broadstr...

First they took away dollar dogs. The they replaced the out of town scoreboard with a big ad board. Then they replaced the analog clock in center field. Now Harry the K’s is no more. The Phillies have sold their soul. This is why baseball is dying.

Here it is you ungrateful perverts, the first ever PHILLY BROADCASTER MADNESS Google drive link: docs.google.com/spreadsheets...

I want a PWHL team in Philly.

this is so fucking good, especially this bit

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN, MY FRIENDS.

The U.S. loses yet another war.

Everything is fine #doop

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Irish Reunification Landline

Erin Go Birds

Reader, it didn’t let me down. Amaze.

Ernst Tanner’s suspension and the Union’s reaction to it might expedite this.

this particular bit from the report by the guardian has stuck with me not just racism but a super charged tier of racism that takes a level of audacity to say aloud in a work setting

NEW: MLS has suspended Philadelphia Union sporting director Ernst Tanner without pay through June 1, 2026, after it substantiated violations of its policies. The punishment follows a @us.theguardian.com report last year alleging wide-ranging misconduct. Details: www.theguardian.com/football/202...

[Sade voice 🎵]

Happy Project Hail Mary early screening day to all who celebrate. (It’s me, I’m celebrating)

why did the oscars not go to a system that takes into account runs allowed vs innings played to determine who won

Conan O'Brien, Oscars host, after a commercial break: "Welcome back. We're coming to you live from the 'Has a Small Penis Theater.' Let's see him put his name in front of that."

"My next guest is a supervillain who has trapped three NBA players in his medallion, forever. Hoopmaster, happy to have you, your thoughts on the Strait of Hormuz?"

I’ve been giving it a think. This will probably be the last year we do our Philadelphia Union season tickets. I’m content to save our money and wait until we get either a PWHL team or NWSL team (or hold out for the WNBA team). Kind of tired of supporting mediocre men and their mediocre league.

It’s Shohver

F1 has cancelled the Grands Prix of Bahrain and Saudi Arabia, scheduled for 4/12 and 4/19, respectively, due to… *gestures at a map* That means that following the next race in Japan in two weeks, teams will have a month off before the next race in Miami the first week of May.

i think we should all remember him how he wanted to be remembered, since he took so much effort to get the special silver sharpie and everything. fuck you, you unrepentant, homophobic piece of shit.

I’ve been giving it a think. This will probably be the last year we do our Philadelphia Union season tickets. I’m content to save our money and wait until we get either a PWHL team or NWSL team (or hold out for the WNBA team). Kind of tired of supporting mediocre men and their mediocre league.

WE’LL BE LESS ACTIVIST IF YOU BE LESS SHIT

Dominican Republic -- dancing, hugging, whomping baseballs Italy -- chugging espresso, kissing, whomping baseballs United States -- gritting teeth, thinking about the troops, leaving runners in scoring position

Everything I learned about F1 I learned from playing Michael Andretti Grand Prix for the NES and watching the entire 1995 season in binge form on ESPN2 after I would come home from school in the 9th Grade.

Remember when you could watch your local sports teams for free on your tv?

The Delco Bone Man’s trial begins today. Friday the 13th. You cannot tell me that’s a coincidence. There is a court scheduler at the county who absolutely knew the assignment.

You might be disgusted by this picture, but I get the feeling Mamdani is more disgusted that he’s actually in it. He knows how terrible Infantino and FIFA are but he also knows he signed up for doing stuff like this.

There are a lot of shit things in this world. But there is one good “shit” thing that I look forward to each day (or so) And that’s @emilygreymoore.bsky.social’s Shit Monster Manual drawing series on her Instagram. Go follow her and see how awesome of an artist she is even when it’s “shit”.