How early is too early to go to bed? Asking for a starship with truck nuts attached

Anyway, you should get a gun.

fun trivia! in the second French revolution, sensible liberal men listened to this complaint, and rather than kill conservatives in power reached out to them as partners in a new and more equal form of governance! the conservatives said "hey thanks for that" and immediately killed the lot of them

"I don't like this arc" skip 16 episodes "won't I miss something?" they will catch you up, i assure you "this sounds flimsy" it's pronounced whimsy, now hush. the ninja boy is learning about ren and nen

Therapist: So the people on Bluesky are tankies because they- Me: -nald trump is a tankie too. A tankie gave me a dirty look on the street today. Your receptionist has the voice of a tankie. Therapist: *writing notes* Me, pointing at her water bottle: tankie

Forgot my headphones at home for the first time in years, my workout is in shambles hours before it even starts

"My denomination? Oh, I'm a Born Again Ralph Naderist."

Every time the shitty Bluesky app starts breaking down/running slow I just assume I got slapped with another suspension. It really turns frustrating app issues into a positive moment

Marx was literally alive during the Civil War, wrote about it, and wrote a letter to Lincoln. Marxists/communists have written a LOT about the American Civil War. The fact that you don't know this but still feel confident in asserting bullshit like this is the embarrassing

CHOTINER: You smoke good, correct? ME: yes. CHOTINER: Fire? ME: No -- Reggie. Nothing above mids. CHOTINER: Can you explain this tweet, then, from September 5th: "I am absolutely gone off that loud"? ME: I consider mids loud. I get fully destroyed off half a hit of that booty shit.

Now Ghost of Yotei is getting great reviews. Stop releasing all the good games at once, my wallet is already screaming at me after Borderlands, Trails in the Sky, and the FF Tactics pre-order 😭

My super power is being able to drink 15 beers and not be hungover at work the next day. Can I do anything with that? Surely there's gotta be at least one crime I can stop with this

Had the best day of work I've had in ages, about to finish Judgment, and dunked on a dumbass podcaster. Tis a good day indeed

Jane, this authoritarian government murdered my people and is currently caging my people and your answer is to beg for mercy from Schumer, who loves Israel, who murdered my people

this is what passes as humor for liberals. highly recommend you watch this speech because it is fucking powerful btw, hugo chavez was 10000x the man any sniveling imperialist running dog could ever be.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ways to get my brother to break off his engagement before the wedding next month? His fiance is awesome and they're gonna be happy together but I REALLY don't want to write this fucking Best Man speech so it has to be done

The Democrat's Big Tent

I’ll never tire of sharing this screenshot

Defending American hegemony by dismissing its unconditional support for Israel as "one bad policy," as if it wasn't a load bearing pillar of the whole edifice.

"matador" implies there is a bull involved

Spock/Kirk are the original Autistic/ADHD power couple.

Liberals scrambling to justify why the us should have hegemony after killing like 60 million people since ww2

Before anyone starts joking/posting "oh no, anyway" type memes, the victims were ICE detainees and were almost certainly the intended targets

SAWKAHN DEEZ NUTZ

wait wait wait he got pilled by TYLERnol

The debate about what Harris could've done while running put aside, her book effectively throwing Biden under the bus and affirming the already widely held belief that he did not value Palestinian Arab life as much as Jewish life means this will be the consensus opinion among Dems by end of decade.

Awesome I love it when libs do solidarity like "how much Tylenol did Trump's mom take haha get it Trump is autistic which is bad like how he's fat and gay and has incontinence and when fat gay incontinent autistics say "idk if this is ideal praxis and rhetoric" I will tell them to enjoy the camps"

In a stunning moment of Liberal Anti-Leftism, she called Trump a Communist. She's literally using Fascist tactics and logic to try and critique Trump. It's ridiculous.

I can't wait to drop this shit in my friend. Imma wait and ask like a question like "yeah, shooter macgavin was the bridge officer on the Enterprise D" and my friend will cut in and say "you mean the Enterprise C" and then I jump out and whip out the sack and yell "Enterprise C these Nuts"

Cocaine prices low, DeLorean for sale, people watching megachurch tv... Damn, Is it the 80's again??

these tweets were almost back-to-back in my feed

I'm sorry but chattel slavery was nothing like Tiananamen Square and I'm insulted that you would even say such a thing. Five hundred years of genocide and exploitation that creates the basis of western wealth and civilization is objectively fucking worse.

"Please, Pedo Guy is my father. Call me Microblogging Child Sexual Abuse Material Lord."

Therapist: the discourse isn't real, the discourse can't hurt you The discourse:

On the street, it's got a dozen names. Some call 'em White Devils. Simple, classic. Some cats call 'em The Levelers, 'cause they take you from a 10 on the pain scale down to a zero. Smooths you right out. You call it Tylenol. I call it death.

so the Economist article isn't attributed an author. but someone in the replies of this 🧵 tipped me off that it was Jəsse Singal. & it turns out that it was, which in retrospect isn't surprising (as he's one of the ppl who would never answer this question):

okay cool kimmel got his show back can GFM get her DC comics run back now

genuinely crying at this one

I love that they keep giving us more reasons to cancel that shit lol deeply unserious company

Been a minute since I've seen this kind of lib Zionist poster in the wild, insane that they think anyone is buying this shit. Mossad pay your interns

Idk how you guys are still fighting about religion when Fred Van Vleet just tore his ACL and is out for the season, meaning a young up and coming contending team that just traded for Kevin Durant probably no longer has real title aspirations next year. THIS is the important shit people

Don't forget to cancel HBO Max as well

shut the fuck up liberal

So who wants to bet all the liberals and Disney adults are gonna re-up their subscriptions now that Kimmel is back? I don't want this to happen but we've seen this cycle so many times

alright so let’s do the same thing for Harry Potter until the chavs burn down JK Rowling’s house.

reading the timeline today