Apparently bodysuits and small skirts are a fashion thing with the young ladies at music events now?

doctor doctor gimme the news ive got an unworn pair of baby shoes

Sports rules should explicitly forbid divine intervention. If the quartermaster says that God helped him throw the game winning pass, the administrators should sieze the trophy from him on the spot.

Look I'm no protectionist but I don't think Nintendo should be allowed to fund their development efforts entirely from the Australian social security budget. It leads to false advertising. Like why are those games called THE LEGEND OF ZELDA when they all centre Link

All the Muppets fuck. This was Henson’s creative vision

You ever eat a really good piece of fruit and think how crazy it is that this stuff just grows on trees

Is TAFE SA okay?

The point of sexy undies is not to be alluring to people that might see you naked. The point of sexy undies is to remind yourself you're wearing sexy undies every time you go to the toilet, to help you feel sexy throughout the day.

Lorikeets are eating my peaches!

they're called crimson rosellas because they blend in so well with the leaves

I did this

It's not that girls are weapons, actually. It's that weapons, as objects coveted by men who view the possession and conspicuous use of them as intrinsically demonstrative of their masculinity, are a type of woman.

In Australia it’s not called “twink death” it’s moving into your golden gaytime

Replace all the tap washers and light bulbs when you first move in to a place. Don't trust the previous peoples maintenance.

The buses I drive have large interal mirrors so you can see all the people in the bus at a glance, but sometimes the mirror is angled such that I mostly see myself in the drivers seat. Eventually I have to get up and readjust the mirror otherwise my own reflection is too distracting 😏

Girl dinner

no that's the pope

i wrestled with the slop machine until it produced something workable, my manager who loves that stuff and wants to make sure his worker bee can use it will be so proud of me, have fun foxfirefey.github.io/tarotpedia/

Australia this week

Feel like a man throwing a homemade IED into a large crowd at an invasion day rally should be bigger news

I heard there was a Cohen song And all the gentiles got it wrong But you don’t really know the lyrics do ya? Cause mostly it’s about getting laid And sex and love and Jewish faith But all the Christians heard was “Hallelujah”

I think alternative time line me might have actually become a cop. My internal cop is really loud sometimes.

DAGOTH PUPPYGURL: i'm a dog, how can you hate a dog? what a grand and intoxicating innocence

I put one of those high frequency electric fire lighters next to my ear and it immediately triggered my tinnitus. The audio equivalent of the "I don't know what I expected" meme

Blessing the machine spirit

Italian voice actor Carlo Bononi was the voice of all of the characters on Pingu. A trained clown by trade, he used a theater technique called grammelot, which consists of "speaking" in a mix of babbled gibberish noises. He improvised all the voices live and unscripted.

*during sex* That's Numberwang!

What do you mean you had her microchipped

So Im job hunting, and even though my design is fresh & engaging, my direction is clear & actionable, and my leadership is uniting & uplifting, I cant break through the noise So I made what most art folks have but most design folks dont have: A sizzle reel! Hopefully it adds some fun to folks' day

“My hands are glued to this bench”

Morning.

Interesting self realisation: I'm starting to like the "just make it up and see if it works" kind of cooking when I have the time and someone to cook for.

i wanna hear more people on the streets saying shit like 'bush walk' and 'op shop' and less 'hike' and 'thrift' please

interior crocodile alligator, i drive a chevrotain movie theatre. it screens this

I’M THE ONE OTHER MONOGAMOUS TRANSSEXUAL ONLINE AND I AM NOT LOOKING TO BUILD ANYTHING LASTING I SIMPLY WANT HOT ROPES OF FLUORIDE SHOT INTO ME WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED AS PART OF MY MEDICAL CARE LIKE ANY OTHER WOMAN

Encountered an ahegao t-shirt in the wild on my bus route. The second I've ever seen. Too large on a skinny curly haired blonde person. I hope their future transition goes well.

someone asked me if I was worried about forever chemicals and I gotta be honest, I have too many other things going on to think about those right now.

curvy isabelle discourse if we actually respected the marketplace of ideas

PETER PAN (1953): There’s a scene where Tinker Bell looks in a mirror and is shocked by how thicc she is. Shortly after, she becomes stuck in a keyhole. In storytelling, we call this Chekhov’s ass.

i bought the domain ohhh.lol a while back just because and the other night i noticed it gets like 100-150 unique hits a day from people typing it in their posts and group chats where it tries to load the url preview. so i hope this annoys some people while they're trying to get their mack on

New year, same me but in a Ship of Theseus kind of way

Sandrena Gel sachets are HRT Zooper Doopers