Y'all fuck with jambalaya?

Never occurred to me before but vampires are like the ultimate people pleaser fantasy. You're telling me this powerful creature of the night needs *me* to survive? And all I have to do is let it drain my very soul from my body? Uhnf yes please

Fascinating how being trans has shaped me into a bit of a hedonist. After spending 20-something years of my life wishing I was dead it's practically impossible not to revel in every sensation I have access to

Had a beautiful weekend with friends and partners, but now I've gotta work my job at this factory. Appeasing managers and filing reports like I actually give a fuck

Leftover stir fry in a tortilla with hot sauce and a coffee. Peak hangover food

Alright so I didn't get a pic of my ass but this is objectively better

At a kink show with my partners! I gotta do this stuff more often

You look at me as though you’re crawling through the desert and I’ve handed you a bottle of water and also an ice cream

I know I fulfill a lot of goth girl stereotypes but watching a nickle-sized spider crawl out of my hair is a new one for me

Was just informed by my bf that I look at him with absolute adoration when he's mean or predatory towards me. Caught me off guard but I really shouldn't be surprised

Took ~6 weeks off lifting, did two light workouts in the last week and my body's like "Oh fuck yeah let's go". Immediately starving all the time and bulking up

The frequency at which I enunciate my name as "Jay-DUH" to a cashier and then they come out with "order for Jake" is getting more funny than upsetting at this point. Like look at me and what I'm wearing are you stupid?

Posts like this fuel my motivation to work out

Sword of Damacles (sticky ball stuck to the ceiling directly over my chair)

CEO of my company just hard winked at me while shaking my hand wtf

What's a little forest defilment between friends?

Been fantasizing about someone in a mask chasing me through the woods and having their way with me when I'm inevitably caught. In unrelated news I might rewatch The Mandalorian S1 soon

Been reading smutty fanfic for hours on a day when I'm supposed to meet my bf's family for dinner and pretend we're not dating and that I'm definitely not daydreaming about his spit in my mouth

i'm okay

Gotta find me a tattoo artist who'll praise me for sitting so well for them, then humiliate me for getting off to that

This morning my girlfriend told me she’d like it if I growled at her especially if it was “more from the back of your throat than from your voice” so instead of working at my job I’ve been doing important research

Spending my first half hour at work coaching my bf on how to growl at me until I'm so horny I can't see straight

In retrospect this is the funniest post I could've made 24 hours before my best friends proposition us about a polycule

Just watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and gotta say, solid 8.5/10 while plastered

I know I'm a masochist not because I enjoy being hurt, but because feeling the soreness and seeing the marks the next day fills me with such satisfaction

Defending a notorious transphobe with "but I have trans friends" in the grossest way possible

Talking to my coworker about how I'm gonna go keep my sick gf company tonight while absent-mindedly filing the sharp edges off my nails

Adopting a catgirl just to name her "Crunchwrap Frank"

Off with his fucking head. - happy werewolf Wednesday

Moving my injection day so my levels are better on the days I want. But that also means I'm troughing during the work week now and brother this shit sucks

september 30 ... october 1

Update: I'm pretty sure she's bi and just doesn't like the label. "Alright, I could see myself giving a dude the strap if he was girly enough"

Highly doubt I'll ever voluntarily break from my vegetarianism but holy shit do I miss good bbq ribs

Which prompted this

Which prompted this

Apparently I've sucked my gf's tits so hard and so often she started lactating, I'm pretty proud of that one

I have never made a more picture perfect loaf

🪻 locking eyes with your boyfriend while you and him suck your girlfriends tits

I've hit the point where I need to physically move my tits out of the way while shaving my body. Life is good

theyd call it Five Guys Burgers and Fries and 1 Girl who is Sucking Off all Five Guys at Once if i was in that restaurant rn

punk gengar for the punk girlies (and boyos) #art #pokemon #halloween

Can't decide if I'd wanna be the vampiress feeding on a pathetic bloodbag of a woman or if I'd rather be the bloodbag

Loving the new engineer at my work: "I wish you hadn't told me that report's ready, I don't wanna present it later. Can we forget you said that until next week?"

Autumn is here

I just wanna wear sexy dresses but every fashion designer makes them for women with soda cans for waists or basketballs for tits and unfortunately I've got curves like a ruler

…I should call her…

never forget what woke took from us

Explaining to my 50yo lesbian coworker what femboys are and getting her opinion in an effort to dissect what makes me bi