In Irkutsk Russians are now queuing for eight hours to get their fuel ration. Putin did actually bring back the Soviet Union.

Probably some cutlery that Mum and Dad gave me when I first left home. Think it was a wedding present that they never really used so it’s older than me. Still have most of it in the cutlery drawer.

*Watching One Foot In The Grave* wow this didn't age well (shot of a couple living comfortably in a beautiful semi detached Greater London house on a retired security guard's pension)

Posting this again for the daytime crowd in case anyone else wants to inexplicably gripe about it like the miserable twat that I muted in the early hours...

Repeating my call for someone to start making a good quality VHS player (with an HDMI output) so I don’t have to keep trawling eBay every few years for diminishing returns

Doctor Trivago

Don't care about sports but I can't help but feel some pride at my countrymen's knack for completely out of order, unnecessarily vitriolic football chants

Tony Blair has become a brilliant indicator on any given issue. If he supports it, it's guaranteed to be totally and utterly morally reprehensible. He's Schrödinger's cunt.

pretty devastating dunk at the end of this paragraph

Don’t threaten us with a good time…

www.maptap.gg June 26 100🎯 97🔥 100🎯 96🏅 80✨ Final score: 925

Sorry you lost with the last kick of the ball, have you tried doing Air Conditioning about it

Not yet 8am and it’s 30° in the house…

Poch has gone full Arteta. Never go full Arteta.

I’d probably buy an MGF for peanuts to get around this sort of problem. But I’d be accused of having a midlife crisis.

Supercalifragilisticthisteamnamesatrocious

Excellent explainer if you have never seen it.

That Hertfordshire Google data centre is just down the road from us, and it's fucking massive. The site is about the size of 18 football pitches.

Found two of these bad boys in the cupboard. From memory I bought them for my shin splints which flare up occasionally. Now however, they will be doing some heavy rotation across the back of my shoulders to keep me cool while WFH

The whole of the UK today...

it's like that Time Team episode in the US where the American archaeologists get excited about an 18th century skeleton. And when they ask Phil if he's dug up many before he's all: "oi 'ave not. on account o' them mostly bein in graveyards by then for us"

I see the chemtrail conspiracy theorists have noticed the sky again. Give it a rest, you planks.

It was inevitable, wasn't it🙄 Of course the Telegraph would run with something like this👇 So let's remove some of the rose-tinted spectacles and also look at some of that data comparing 1976 with modern heat waves Because the 1976 nostalgia porn is wearing a bit thin at this stage 🧵1/23

This is ace, especially the cans of beer in the dressing room after the game.

Every summer I repost this article on how to spot drowning. Please read it and pass on. In the last few years I’ve had SIX messages from people who saved a kid’s life after clicking on the link from my feed. slate.com/technology/2...

It's probably time European journalists wrapped their heads around Heat Index (temp + relative humidity). In high humidity, sweating is less efficient, making heat worse, e.g.: Experiencing 35°C in London UK (70% RH) is more dangerous than 50°C in Phoenix Arizona (15% RH)

This worked way better than I had planned. Waited about 5 minutes into the meeting. Had a wireless mouse so I could switch it on without looking like I was doing something. Up it pops and I grab a bottle of water for a drink. Most productive thing I’ve done today

Morning x

An interesting read about the 1976 heatwave 🌞 The suggestion that “we all had a wonderful summer and survived” is misleading. It was reported that “200 people a day were apparently dying who would not have died if the weather had been normal”. theconversation.com/the-dangers-... #heatwave

Too hot for pants today

I have a two hour Teams meeting today, so have made myself a new .PNG background that I can put up whenever I take a drink of water...Had to put it top left as the company have disabled custom filters.

Okay. Ai can go bankrupt then. This is not our problem, this sounds like a rich tech billionaire problem.

Diop Tehuti Djed-Hotep Spence ladies and gentlemen…

“Football fans hated the hydration break so much, they started to call it the ______ break.”

I think I’m going to have to have another cold shower…I am unhygienically damp…

Cristiano Ronaldo is the first player in World Cup history to score whilst serving a 3 match ban for violent conduct

I’ve just sat in the shade in the garden and eaten a Cornetto. It’s been the highlight of my day.

The game was invented by people willing to walk across a muddy field on a Saturday afternoon. Somewhere along the way it acquired officials who need a private jet to watch it.

That's the 900 year old Bayeux Tapestry just arrived in the Freight Warehouse, ready for transporting to the British Museum for display. I had a sneak preview and it's absolutely magnificent.

Live footage of me walking from the office to the staff car park after work this afternoon...

Anyone who’s in a queue at a bar who doesn’t know what they want to drink immediately when asked by the server. Straight to the back of the queue. You’ve had plenty of time to make your mind up instead of chatting to your mate.

Having a mobile phone playing loud music or taking a call with speaker on public transport= 12 months of using a government issued Nokia brick with the words "I am a prick" tippexed on the casing.

Go Ape have been trying to put up an outdoor excursion site in Danson Park, Bexley. Objections to doing so have included: 1. Attracting more kids to the park means children will be kidnapped 2. Bexley's kids are bad kids and don't deserve it 3. Building Go Ape will result in decapitated cats

Pictures taken down but it’s still on the 360° tour

the punishment is a bit medieval but i appreciate the enthusiasm

Happy 91st Birthday to The General, those three made me a Spurs supporter 😭😂 #COYS

Absolute carnage at the A10 / College Road junction this morning as the heavy overnight rain has knocked out the traffic lights. You are taking your life in your hands attempting to navigate it

At the risk of igniting a public debate about the design… we prepared for days like this. There are now more than 100 water fountains all over the city, and 4,000 water refill points. Fill up. Stay hydrated.