a lot of the people reacting to this have never experienced the life-changing powers of a girl who is slightly mean

ran into your girl at the aquarium

"We know you’re the kind of hater looking for the real returns only possible through a deep commitment to hating early"; @channel6.bsky.social, like Popeyes, knows what you need at just the right time. $10/month for a hit better than therapy!

I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE SHED UNLESS WE HAVE PIZZA ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT [mom sighs, rolls her eyes, writes "pizza rolls" on the grocery list for next week] I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO BURN DOWN THE SHED

I don't know if this is geographically niche or not, but: youtu.be/sv14ETGOHdc?...

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

oh my god oh my god oh my god www.nasa.gov/image-detail... www.nasa.gov/image-detail... www.nasa.gov/image-detail...

Damn girl, are you the moon? Because you're beautiful and mysterious and hostile to all forms of life

This is journalism!

He is risen

The pope is tweeting like a wide receiver. cc: @dennycarter.bsky.social

your holiday reminder to get a little stoned and let your local florist cook (cc: @hollyanderson.bsky.social)

everything old is somehow new and way dumber

I can't believe the "New Yorker" REJECTED this cartoon!

trans rights is a "wedge" issue in the sense that if you have an issue with trans rights I will "wedge" you into a crevasse in a mountain and leave you there

Happy Tuesday, y'all, go out there and raise some hell today.

again--the only .gov account you need to follow-->

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

dinosaur village rv mobile home park, dinosaur statue and sign, route 40, jensen, utah, 1991

Duke won’t solve this until one of their own throws Stephen Miller into an active volcano

Libra: A sudden shiver. The icy embrace of death? No, you just get real cold a lot lately. It's OK. Doesn't worry you. Look, no omens. No portents. Well, you do spot one skeleton. Looks pitiful in the light of day. Lonely. You shake off a vanishingly rare warm thought about mass graves.

This rewatch of The Americans (top 3 ever show, fight me) reconfirms one of my most strongly-held beliefs - Paige is a real bitch.

No.

sorry i never responded to your email, i didn't want to and then i forgot

Every day there is a headline that stuns me into silence. Today, it's-->

opens mail on call where my professional specialty of 20+ years is being explained to me by a mediocre white man--this hits so so timely @theonion.com

I'm late Gen X & this is very, very real--big things get bought on big screens, that's the rule.

"the popular kids" "the mean girls" "the cliques" you are a grown man. go book a colonoscopy

I'm already sick of this year's March Madness song, I hear enough trash at work!

To this day, I randomly throw out a "fuck him up socrates" in conversation.

WHO TAUGHT THEM HOW TO DRIVE

I am devastated about Wisconsin (my screaming could be heard 80ft down the hallway)BUT of it means they were the sacrifice for a Siena upset, I could recover.

I’m Florida sober (haven’t smoked meth with an alligator outside of a gas station I just robbed in 64 days)

the only good .gov account in existence

America has been too dependent on the benevolence of the oligarchs only to be surprised by their immorality

nobody does more brutal fashion reviews than the irish

Time to put your best depressive self forward!

I miss when billionaires used to implode 3000 m underwater

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

Very on-brand for Gingrich to seek out a new, younger canal the moment the current canal starts having health problems

Having the most "American's last night in Germany" experience: wienerschnitzel while trying to watch the Wisconsin-Michigan basketball game through a VPN. Prost, y'all, and #onwisconsin

Cancelling plans is okay. Putting yourself first is okay. Going for a long walk is okay. Abandoning society is okay. Moving into a cave with a family of raccoons is okay. Giving them tiny swords & shields is okay. Do what you need to do to cope.

“In all this talk about who was responsible and how this happened, are we just going to ignore the fact that girls were allowed to learn?” said Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth

It is the worst

Throw everyone in this government into a goddamn wood chipper

German cuisine is not high on my list of shit I'm excited about this week. German baked goods, though...

You ain’t but one successful skincare regime from having a husband you enjoy

It's 6:44PM where I'm at for work for the next week and I've already had dinner, spent an hour in a sauna with face masks on & am eating real Haribo in bed. If your company wants you to travel overseas right now for work, live it up a few days early on their dime.