December 16, 1989: Charles Oakley of the New York Knicks and Xavier McDaniel of the Seattle SuperSonics are ejected for fighting. Both players were fined $7,500 and suspended for one game. 📺 CBS/MSG

Every writer who generates a slop image for their work is a class traitor. "I can't afford a visual artist" So your solution is stabbing artists in the back? Stealing from them? Furthermore, slop-generated imagery suggests slop-generated writing. That's how you're presenting yourself.

I worked at Argos while at sixth form, and a customer once brought in a slice of bread as evidence his toaster wasn't working.

The Vault doing God's work today. www.youtube.com/watch?v=mue-...

When 97% is 'no clear consensus', and 52% is 'the will of the people', it's time to face facts that Governments do what Governments want to do regardless of what their people actually want.

I think, given computers are only going to get more expensive, I've changed my mind on getting rid of the Mac. Starting to feel like a bit of a bargain actually.

Me when it happens

Fucking hell, it actually was their son. This just gets grimmer.

Just so I'm clear on this, computer memory has tripled in price because a bunch of it that hasn't been produced yet has been ordered to populate GPUs that aren't installed in data centers that aren't built yet in order to service a demand that doesn't exist to make profits that don't happen.

"Nobody is required to listen to anyone, for any reason. If someone started yelling opinions at you in the street or at a party, you’d walk away." This is old but feels relevant again: people can use social media in whatever way they like, stop complaining that they're doing it wrong.

🚨 The UK government just published a breakdown of the responses to its consultation on AI & copyright: - 95% of respondents want AI companies to pay for their training data (made up of 88% saying strengthen copyright law, & 7% saying leave it as is) 🧵 1/2

Yakuza 0 (2015)

so wait, do you get worse at football as you get older? it seems to me like you would get better at it since you'd have more time to learn football facts

I SOLD PANZER DRAGOON SAGA FOR THIS SEAT

This is fucking grim. Somebody invented a white guy, an "IT professional" named Edward Crabtree, who stopped the Bondi shooting and spread it all over the internet, which was picked up by AI agents and slop aggregation sites. The real hero is a fruit stand owner named Ahmed el Ahmed.

You would assume that being a traitor during your country's most defining modern conflict would be so heinous a crime that it would leave your family so broken, toxic and impoverished that we wouldn't actually have to deal with your heirs having any power to infect your government with snake oil

Realised last night that I haven't sung in anger since they shut Twitch Sings down. About five years. Not even sure I remember how.

Ahmed Al Ahmed is the man who tackled the gunman in Australia. He is a Muslim. He saved lives. My Jewish soul is deeply grateful. And this is what happens when we run towards each other. When we build relationships and coalitions and solidarity. We show up for each other. He showed up. Thank you.

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

Please bear this in mind if you consider grabbing Hogwarts Legacy for free, thinking that you can accept/play it without it now doing harm. It's free to you but comes with a cost elsewhere.

It only took ten years for a dedicated bunch of well-connected weirdoes to get the entire UK elite to unite against a tiny minority of the population that they previously barely noticed. The few to resist, like Robin Ince, deserve our lasting gratitude and respect.

Libs understanding of politics is so bad, they'll see someone with a trans, gay rights and Palestine flag in their handle, criticising Democrats anti-migrant policies and call them a "Trump lover".

holy shit

It's Momoa on Cavill for (bigger) jocks.

Should I give streaming one last go in 2026? Commit to a schedule and see if I can stick to it this time?

I don't like being this guy, honest, but I've been looking at what they were capable of putting out on 360/PS3 - machines with half a gig of RAM and video memory - and wondering why the games industry has spent the last decade chasing incremental visual gains for massive performance hits.

don't claim it. doesn't matter that it's free. Don't.

Wank Drebin

absolute bargain if any of yous have a use for 7,949,020,598 wasps

Stealworkers

Fucking incredible dystopian shit, comparing super rich people risking millions if not billions of lives just to make more money to people that risked their life actually building incredible things that would then make millions of dollars for super rich people.

What a world we live in

If you make a billion dollars — or $500 million or even $100 million dollars — and you keep trying to make more, then there is something seriously wrong with you. It's a mental illness akin to hoarding or drug addiction.

Welp, looks like we're teaching the LinkedIn grindset people what The Onion is the hard way.

2016: Firewatch Now: Titanfall 2

How do you have the Undertaker and IRS on the same roster and not make them a tag team called Death and Taxes?

The funniest part of this shit is that people are completing fetch quests by asking what the NPC wants, and then replying that it's right here in their hand.

it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society

“I am so bored by AI. One of the things I love about the theatre is AI can’t do it.” Ethan Hawke is a dude 👌🏻

we don’t bully Jimmy Fallon enough

Fuck this shit.

Me (a ventriloquist): what’s your favourite games console My dummy:

Imagining every ai advert being signed off with the words “that’s probably about as good as it’s going to be” and a big sigh

MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry

A good point people are bringing up — if they need to pretend that making this commercial was hard work to avoid getting yelled at, they are also undercutting the propaganda that A.I. will give you a ton more free time. Which fake story are you sticking to. bsky.app/profile/cult...

Hey all, The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships. Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits. You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.