Me: I'M ON A BOAT! Charon, the River Styx ferryman: That song is the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Legit had the talk with my dad a few times like, hey, don't be too surprised if xyz happens or some chuds try to find me. (Not bc I'm doing anything cool, I'm just a loud smartass.) He just laughed and went THAT'S MY GIRL.

it rocks that Lindsey Graham lived to see the US lose a war with Iran and then immediately died lmao

This is true. However! If you need someone to say something horrible about Graham on your behalf, I am relatively difficult to fire, and also irrationally committed to being angry on the internet, so feel free to put me to work.

Again. This is the author. What are we doing here?

Hi, casino you’re heavily indebted to here! We’re watching your children! 🥳

This is the Zeteo line, a position no other american news outlet is brave enough to take

It’s called elevated horror, T. It’s when the dracula is actually that your family sucks.

The complete elimination of Meta would yield unambiguous, far reaching benefits for global society.

It’s nearly three years since my therapist told me, “Don’t overthink it”. Still trying to work out what she meant.

This bit from the NYT Vance story describes basically all of ultra-right-wing chud classics and medievalism: it *feels* ancient or medieval - or what they think that should be - despite actually being very modern, because it fits their neo-fascist ideology.

this disregard for actual individuals is the belief system if a man who will kill a lot of people to assuage his demons

there is a cohort of men who resent the responsibilities and obligations of adulthood — of the fact that you owe things to other people. it is a fundamentally childish impulse that they have reconfigured as the height of masculinity, and i think it informs the parasocial attraction to platner.

We did and then Sandra Day O’Connor decided that we didn’t need to count all the votes

Trump is preparing to fire the leadership of the Smithsonian Institution, one of America's most prestigious scientific and historical research and education organizations. He wants in particular to censor the Smithonian's American History exhibits:

ever since Tim got the tribal tattoo sleeve he’s felt hella tough

If you shop for something like this, consider the shape and drape: the shape of the collar, pocket, and pocket flap, as well as how well the material hangs. IMO, a camp collar is more interesting than a point collar; rayon and thin linen drape in ways that are more interesting than thick cotton, etc

Nation Turns 250 Despite Presence Of Irish https://theonion.com/nation-turns-250-despite-presence-of-irish/

Why are we here, you ask? This. This is why we are here. Everyone knew. And they all had their price.

America isn’t worth celebrating. These are just some of the ways this country is becoming irreparably worse.

Just weird how police are eager to break up anti-ICE protests, but here it’s pure “let’s escort these peaceful marchers” 🤔🤦🏻‍♂️🤮

Meet serial macer Melissa Janell Berntsen, aka NicoOregon, who went to Hillsboro Pride w/ Tommy Allen on 6/6 and assaulted many attendees with bear spray, including children. Her stream was wildly incriminating & we encourage the victims to sue her. Highlight clips below ⬇︎

No lies detected

If you ever feel so inclined to light off fireworks randomly, I’m here to remind you that my dog’s vascular tumor very likely ruptured causing her a painful and lonely death because her blood pressure had been so high around fireworks season. Or more succinctly, fuck off.

I assumed everyone knew this was predicted to occur when they sacked 50% of the NOAA staff and started canceling weather balloons that collect data last year; but if not. 👇

New Just Cause game is looking trenchant

To international historians in the 2050s, the major geopolitical story of our time will be entirely obvious: the oligarchic and institutional self-destruction of the United States and its displacement by China as the global number one.

les gens... #nice, 2016

sometimes i’m just out & about enjoying myself & i think, this is what they’re trying to take from us. this beautiful moment, having a traditional ethiopian coffee service at a tiny restaurant in a strip mall in a little appalachian town, this is what those reactionary freaks want to take from us!!

Hellmann’s Introduces New Line Of Mayonnaises To Match Every Skin Tone https://theonion.com/hellmann-s-introduces-new-line-of-mayonnaises-to-match-1850641117/

The Great American Cocktail is the Sazerac, with an honorable mention for the Remember The Maine

Man I missed the "faith and family" banners, echoing the replacement of "liberte egalite fraternite" with "Travail, famille, patrie" under Vichy France

Everyone’s enjoying the excommunication drama but there are also lessons for pro-democracy political actors. Decades of accommodating and appeasing this sect did not work and only emboldened them. You have to go whole hog. When you have power, break the back of the reactionaries. Shut them out

"The Park Service, in a separate document, similarly said that people should ‘wear an n95 mask when outdoors’ and ‘remain indoors as much as possible during and after the show.’” The guidance is to remain indoors ... during the fireworks. www.washingtonpost.com/climate-envi...

I rewatched the first of the new Dune movies last night. I fundamentally dislike the dingy, muted, beige, monochromatic aesthetic. It reeks of fear of genuine strangeness. It's trying to process Dune into something 'realist'. I much prefer the outright unrestrained peculiarity of the Lynch movie.

the republic hinges on a small handful of strangely dressed people who get to say “not so fast, bub”

If your message is that the DSA is Stalinist there's so much wrong with your historical perspective that it's probably wise to ignore everything else you ever say too.

I finally did it. I finally got so high I understand the Monty Hall problem

This wasn't a release, it was a prediction of the future

Bizarre story: Two journalists were removed by police from a corporate-sponsored Freedom 250 event in Brussels after they asked US Ambassador to Belgium Bill White about his threat against an American citizen/Belgian resident who had emailed Zac Brown Band urging them not to perform at the event.

I need all of you to read this message a man sent me on okcupid

State records show that Colorado jails put mentally ill and other vulnerable people in solitary confinement for more than 15 days at a time on at least 315 occasions between July 2023 and March 2025.

Making a trillion dollars to post charity is bad on your birthday

update: he's tweeting about MacKenzie Scott, shitty birthday confirmed

This sounds like a snippet of discussion between delusional French leaders in 1958.

MAGA streamer arrested at Trump's state fair...for masturbating in front of female acrobats while dressed as Uncle Sam.