Hold up

Annoyed that the Pope keeps saying cool stuff, I don't want to like the Pope

orgasm isn't enough i need my conscious mind to be dissolved and rinsed away

if you're being pedantic about the definition of pedophilia I'm assuming you are a pedophile

It's still so crazy to me that after all those years of yearning and I get to just kiss her like whenever now 😭 it doesn't feel like real life

My top 25 Beatles songs: 1) While My Guitar Gently Weeps 2) The Fool On The Hill 3) I'm Only Sleeping 4) Happiness Is A Warm Gun 5) I've Just Seen A Face 6) Eleanor Rigby 7) Blackbird 8) Here, There And Everywhere 9) In My Life 10) Yesterday

hey... what?

The people who say the Beatles are overrated are people who have been spoiled by Beatles influenced music

Anyone who says that the Beatles are overrated listen to Martha My Dear and sit the fuck down.

how am I supposed to release my inhibitions and feel the rain on my skin in this economy

milking your prostate all alone handsome ?

Am I just high af or is true men don't kill coyotes low-key one of the best RHCP songs??

There's like 6 things I'd rather be dripping in than XP

really gives "Big Beautiful Bill" a whole new meaning

I think about this Nathan Fielder sketch almost as much as I think about the Folgers incest commercial www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMTgpHWa/

honestly prior to today i would've picked Nixon / Reagan as the Presidential pair most likely to have blown each other

the kind of horny where i want to be coated head to toe in a layer of cum. or i could settle for like a really big quesadilla instead maybe

[DM who has only played Baldur's Gate 3 running session zero of their first tabletop campaign] ok what vulva style are you thinking of taking

Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Standing By The Perimeter Fence And Screaming For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day today all who celebrate

I still think about the Folgers incest commercial on about a weekly basis

Someone should hack my bank account and add $74,000 to it

The piss tank on the ISS is now 27% full.

Led Zeppelin is wild because every song is either about Lord of the Rings or it's just Robert Plant cumming into the microphone for 7 minutes

I'm sorry but I actually hate anyone who refers to him as "drumpf" just as much as I hate the man himself

this is going to ruin Toyotathon isn’t it

Sumo is absolutely an aura-farming sport never doubt that

You can't say you're buying something for "pennies on the dollar" anymore. Nobody will know what you mean. "Pennies!?" they'll say. "OK boomer" they'll say.

Mother Yeast new band name I call it

Are the tamed inflation and growing wages in the room with us right now, Karoline?

Praxis is placing a copy of the Communist Manifesto in your local neighborhood Little Library/community book box

My friend just drove to work on her day off to walk around the parking lot with me on my break because I've had a shit day 🥺 She only lives 2 minutes away but it's like 42° out and that's still a big deal to me

Rule #1: It can always get worse. Rule #2: See Rule #1.

New password must contain 16 characters???? In this economy?????

live in the living room die in the dining room

My feed right now

learning a lot about relationships on tiktok

Under absolutely no circumstances would I ever knock on a closed single-toilet public bathroom door. That's fucking psychopathic behavior

im so normal

no yeah ok

i am proposing a new mortgage payment variant that you start paying the moment you are conceived of in the womb

Dog not included

I love this woman

time for a world series walkoff hbp

My heart is the fullest it has ever been