Got these new trainers today but I can't get it out of my head that they look like fuckin DC Tosh Lines from The Bill

Errrrr explain THIS evidence, Donald Trump! Irrefutable, we think!!!

📢 THIS 🔽. We simply have to make "billionaire" a term of abuse and ridicule. Until we reach that point, these deeply damaged and insanely greedy people will rule your lives, and the lives of your children and grandchildren in ways that only suit them... www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Sometimes on videos of me doing stand-up people comment “don’t give up your day job” but my day job is writing comedy to perform on a night so I’ll take it as a compliment I guess.

billionaires need to put their money where their mouths are. literally. force all of the money they have directly into their mouths, blocking their tracheas, preventing them from breathing

Americans have spoken and they demand wokeness

Trump Imposes 25% Tariff On Chinese-Made Trump Products

A great day for the golden rule of political analysis: when the right wins it is a resounding ideological victory that humiliates the left and when the left wins it is a precarious fluke that will surely end up humiliating the left. Conservatives are power’s landlords and the left merely tenants

Incredibly funny to watch the right wing going Oh so just because I love money and hate poor people I'm a bad Christian according to "the pope"???

Wake up and smell the covfefe

Sorry for sharing a nice picture of me and my grandmother, I really shouldn’t have done that without being younger and prettier. I’m sorry for any distress caused to strange men on the internet who now don’t want to fuck me 😭

Many think kindness and humility are signs of weakness. They are wrong. True warriors know that to help others and to ask for nothing in return are the mightiest acts of honor. Cruelty is for the weak. Offer help, show kindness freely, for tomorrow it could be you who requires aid.

Wella shampoo is great but when my hair is full of Grease, I use Wella Wella Wella Huh shampoo.

They asked me if I had any specific criticisms of the Ghost Train. I said nothing leapt out at me.

the former prince will now go by his new name, Andrew Saxe-Offender

The findings show concerns around immigration are "not based on personal experience but are heightened through the media by national politicians."

Reform are a one policy party. It's all the fault of migrants. Haven't we heard this before? I believe it was in 1930s Germany.

Back when I was at Uni, there was a policy: "No platform for racists or fascists" Since then these people have been platformed, beginning with Farage being on every BBC show possible, even before his party had won a single council seat. Now people quite like fascism.

Minority representation on TV causes outrage From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

Is there anywhere I can read non-racist, non-immigration news? Genuine question.

stellan skarsgård seems like a good dude

I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work. I thought, "I don't have time for this shit."

“I am what I am, it is what it is – fuck you!” Remembering Lou Reed, who died on this day in 2013. In one of his last ever interviews, Reed looked back over a life lived without compromise. “I’m a guitar player who likes feedback,” he told MOJO’s Mark Paytress. “I’m not that complicated…”

Myles Scriven: his needs were apparent but were not met, the coroner ruled. @georgejulian.bsky.social reports. communitylivingmagazine.com/lack-of-adju...

📢 Good to see. Every bit of Thatcher's legacy that we can undo will be a victory... www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

Soon daylight savings time ends. Don't forget to turn your clock back to when America was great, before humans existed

According to racists, it’s racist to call racists racist. Makes you think.

Conservative Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp repeatedly refusing to say that he thinks Reform MP Sarah Pochin saying she doesn't like seeing black people on TV was racist. Says he wouldn't use her "language" but it's right for her to express "legitimate concerns" about migration

Barclays have made £7.3bn in profit so far this year, according to figures released today. Their CEO thinks higher taxation on banks is 'facile and fallacious logic'. But a windfall tax on the Big 4 UK banks, proposed by @positivemoneyuk.bsky.social, could raise billions to invest in public services

I'm going to make this my pinned post. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Mmc...

📢 THIS 🔽 is firmly in the "no shit Sherlock" realms of obviousness but, sadly, it still eludes most of our cowardly and intellectually-challenged politicians and political parties... www.theguardian.com/world/2025/o...

Reform UK have lost another councillor after Northumberland's John Allen was given the boot in the wake of HOPE not hate revealing his online comments about shooting Prime Minister Keir Starmer. hopenothate.org.uk/2025/09/19/s...

This is an *incredibly* good idea.

This month I announced that London has met legal limits for nitrogen dioxide for the first time ever. When I became Mayor, we were told it would take 193 years. We did it 184 years earlier than predicted.

so, like, italian

Emily was no help

World map, but every country is Brazil.

EU billionaire wealth soared by over €400bn in just six months. This is enough money to hit Net Zero emissions in the UK about 3 times over, and maybe buy yourself some socks. I don't know. I don't know what you do with that kind of money. Wait, yes I do. TAX IT.

The following is REAL footage from Portland, 2025. Viewer discretion is advised.

Waiting for Trump to announce the ‘TRUTH Peace Prize’ with the winner decided by an independent body of people appointed by Trump (and subsequently fired if they don’t vote the correct way)

“I’ll declare war on you if you don’t give me the peace prize” is an incredible bit

Experiment successful.

"The same argument, the same sort of human nature is being stirred up."

Yes, yes I know I keep banging on about my fucking book! However, if you want one repost this and I’ll do a random winner pick thing by the end of the week because I’m great like that. ♥️📚 #amindofmyown

When you order a ventriloquist dummy from Temu.

I wish I didn’t have to say this but… If someone tells you they’re autistic and you find that hard to believe, it might be because: - They don’t feel safe enough to unmask around you - Your knowledge of autism is limited Arguing won’t help. Kindness, curiosity, and listening to understand, will ❤️