Tis the season! Watch Crossed Lines in its 25th Anniversary year! youtu.be/ohXf_Z3uNNE

When I was young I used to hate it when I'd go to a sleepover and one of the other kids would put my hand in a bowl of warm Bovril so I'd shit the bed.

Tis the season! Watch Crossed Lines in its 25th Anniversary year! youtu.be/ohXf_Z3uNNE

behold, the platonic ideal of social media

Reposting for the Friday night bridge and tunnel crowd.\: quantick.substack.com/p/and-other-...

Thank for the reposts and help! Looking for kids 2015/16 Barca kit, shorts and long sleeve top, horizontal stripes, 8-14y (ideally about 10-11y). The specifications are part of his deep and pervasive autistic special interest in football gear, not just him being a brat, promise!

If you randomly have this kids 2016 Barcelona kit in the back of your cupboard and can save Christmas in my house please get in touch 🤞

Do you know what's more embarrassing than having 'Another One Bites the Dust' as a ringtone? Not putting your phone on silent at a funeral.

This version as well! youtu.be/Q68xmKVXrH0?...

Yes! Been waiting for Mr Martin to post this!

Hi, Bluesky book/publishing community. Looking for some advice around pitching a memoir. Thanks.

Well this can fuck right off! This has appeared tonight and I can't turn it off. They've genuinely removed the option to turn it off. Absolute arseholes. #FuckAI #FuckMicrosoft #ShoveYourAI

Me when US officials ask for 5 years of my social media history:

25 'MOST BLUESKY' POSTS OF 2025 Here's my selection of the 25 Bluesky posts that most impressed me this year. They're quite varied, but doesn't that reflect the thriving, harmonious site this really is? Yes. It does. They've been anonymised anyway, who cares?

This is a great example of the @gralefrit.bsky.social observation that the funniest joke is the one told between family members in the front row of a funeral.

Just call him Donald Trump, you cowards.

Right, enough BTN stuff for tonight. Time to type up the A-Z ideas I had on the train on the way back from The Big Comedy Conference. (Thanks again, James Cary!)

YOU NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING AND WATCH THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Kate Harrison, who has studied how colour impacts feelings, suggests using bright colours to invoke joy, and soft greens, whites and champagne colours to create calm. Although many in Glasgow believe green and white and champagne are unlikely to be seen together this season. #BTNNB #BTNRejects

An immersive childcare course forgoes quiet classrooms and instead exposes students to sounds likely to be faced in the real world - including crying babies, tantrums and noisy play sessions. If successful, a similar programme will be rolled-out for those wishing to become an MP. #BTNNB #BTNRejects

A historic well – hidden for centuries beneath Glasgow Cathedral – has been uncovered and reopened to the public. The discovery may have never been made, had it not been for an eventful afternoon, when a boy called Timmy, visited with his dog. #BTNNB #BTNRejects #EveryoneProbablySubmittedThisJoke

What appeared to be tentacles washed up on an Aberdeenshire beach are the remains of a deep-sea creature called a seven-arm octopus, say experts. Or a regular octopus that had a run-in with a shark, say everyone else. #BTNNB #BTNRejects

Rachel Reeves was accused of overstating her junior chess title and critics are now asking broader questions about her CV and other claims. Like was that infamous distinctive mid-90’s haircut, ‘The Rachel’, really named in her honour? #BTNNB #BTNRejects

Christmas CANCELLED in London 💔🎄

Carol Man(a)ger (4, 2, 1, 6)

Put some of James Carey's excellent advice from his workshop at the Big Comedy Conference into action on the train on the way home from London earlier. Worked brilliantly and sparked some great ideas. Gonna have a go at writing a proper #Sitcom! #BigComedyConference2025

I've been through the desert on a

I was walking through Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens in a t-shirt this morning. Been absolutely roasting all weekend - so glad my hotel room had a desk fan! Now, I know I did a lot of walking but is this an almost 50 thing?

Just having a walk before I've got to go back to Paddington for my train later and stumbled across this! Cor! Proper spine-tingling moment!

Being a British parent is so weird bc you're actually worried about paying the sky high rent/mortgage & getting GP appointments but the entire press keeps telling you you're worried there's a trans person or immigrant nearby & the vat on Eton means there'll only be two skiing holidays this year

Too tired to process the weekend in any proper way at the moment but, it did motivate me to get going again. So definitely did what I hoped. #BigComedyConference2025

there once was a girl called phyllis who married a guy called willis they liked to drink fanta

Day two! #BigComedyConference2025

And we're off for leg 2! #BigComedyConference2025

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

Nightmare, Hanna Fry must have dropped something down her top just before filming started.

Alarm set for 4.30am. On the first train down to London for British Comedy Guide's Big Comedy Conference 2025. I must be bleedin' barmy!

Thank the maker!

Can I watch now? #WorldCupDraw

Is it safe to turn on again yet? #WorldCupDraw

And then, in late 2025, history came to an end as the entire human race simply cringed itself to death

Fucking taking the fucking peace prize…

Can someone message me when the draw actually starts please, because I can't watch any more. #WorldCupDraw

Now everyone else, "Trump's a cunt, Trump's a cunt, Trump's a cunt"

Jesus Christ this is fucking awful! #WorldCupDraw

Man alive the microphone popping is really annoying me?

Wanker, wanker, wanker...

Loved that Pavarotti one 👏🏼👏🏼 #BTN

It’s Bandcamp Friday so why not enjoy some of my music (please) robinallender.bandcamp.com