Hello. I’m in Grantham.

This, from Fred Dibnah’s mother, is a masterclass in parenting

Bloody Foreigner. Coming over here, with their 50th anniversary tour.

Take me down to the pair of tights city - Guns N’ Hosiery

@publicbenjamin.bsky.social happy bidet x

Rod Hull and Temu

Tale as old as time, but PLEASE can clothing shops stop stocking autumn/winter gear in July? ithankyou

Tim Henman gained his tennis ability after being bitten by a radioactive hen.

Actually it’s pronounced ‘Macquat’

Should have kept his belt on John

Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood carry a French sofa into a bar. The barman says "Why the longue, Faces?"

No one is talking about how Weezer secretly replaced Scott Shriner with Laurence Fox?

More like Neil Old

Where do I collect my wildlife photographer of the year award?

Convinced I recall an advert for Soreen malt loaf in the 90s featuring Lesley Joseph, with the tagline ‘Doreen loves her Soreen’. Except her character in Birds of a Feather was ‘Dorien’ - what

If you rob Halfords, that’s breaking the law

I’m missing Eurovision for the first time in 30+ years. You’ll have to survive without my puns.

Venn diagram of Robert Smith and Mrs. Doyle saying ‘go on, go on’

1985 is such a… #TOTP

‘Just give me the light’ - George Benson & Hedges

It’s Wednesday. It’s Top of the Popes.

Of course in my day, it was called the London Snickers

Eating the first Easter egg is easy. Then comes the difficult second albumen.

It’s just another manic Maundy

I have made a grave error and posted a comment in the Dull Men’s Club

But no sign of George or Zippy

Three Pats in a row is a Patrick.

Pancake on the streets of London. Pancake on the streets of Birmingham.

Why has Morrissey announced the demise of David Johansen, and not any reputable news outlets? Or Wikipedia?

Imagining Olive singing this to a library book she intended not to return - you’re not a loan #TOTP

Who’s your favourite Bond? Mine is James

I’m missing the live EastEnders tonight because I’m seeing a 16-piece 90s rave orchestra instead. It’s what Huw and Lenny would have wanted.

*clears throat*

911 couldn’t make cakes to save their life. They’ve got my shoddy baking #TOTP

If you splash out on your partner this Valentine's Day, don't forget to clean up afterwards.

If No Mercy were French, they’d be No Merci, or No Thank You, which is the answer to the question ‘No Mercy?’ #TOTP

Three colours dread #TOTP

Why does granny have to walk the streets? #TOTP

America’s very own Judy Finnigan at the NTAs moment

Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood carry a French sofa into a bar. The barman says "Why the longue, Faces?"

If No Mercy were French, they’d be No Merci, or No Thank You, which is the answer to the question ‘No Mercy?’ #TOTP

Please welcome Mister Terry Vision #TOTP

Of course by late 1997, she was known as Labour Amos #TOTP

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fireworks on a Tuesday? Embarrassing

Happy New Year, friends! Reflecting on 2024, I’d say it was a year of ‘contrasts’. Losing my dad in June brought some of the darkest days I’ve known, but it also led to memorable moments, and reconnections with some special people. I wish you all peace, and prosperity in 2025 xxx

10 years without the Ink Witch. Raising a glass to Venus, and her daughter Zoe who also died this year 🖤

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you; There's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do; I bless the rains down Lynx Africa

Merry Christmas!!