im not going to instagram. i cant

jarren duran and jhoan duran are the same person. anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a coward

when i see a trailer start with emma stone and a fish eye lens i just KNOW thats a yorgos joint

the Weaver clan has done immeasurable damage to major league baseball

you know who else was obsessed with growing food within his own borders

twenty quarks final answer

the detroit baseball tigers cannot be employing a man named dillon dingler. not in 2025

if i never had an employer bleat at me about mindfulness ever again

"charlie brown had hoes" tweet is a foundational text

the only thing wrong with the "ai = asbestos" analogy is that unlike ai, asbestos is actually insanely effective in its applications. destroying lungs is unfortunately one of those applications

one of the many ways that i am the only correct person on earth is my ironclad belief that read receipts mostly serve to make one insane

I know there are a lot of Judge-Raleigh MVP opinions floating out there, but have you considered that Judge plays for the Yankees (annoying, very bad) while Cal Raleigh plays for the Mariners (lovable in spite of themselves and their accursed history, good).

the tankie take on the american civil war is that comrade secretary khrushchev, despite his overall revisionism and betrayal of the proletariat, was correct to deploy the 8th mechanized army to savannah in 1865

yankees fans hate it so much when someone is good the same year that judge is good

motorsports fans wont admit this but f1 cars are powered by wind up springs

dudes rock

The US is imposing 1000% tariffs on ma, the concept of emptiness or negative space in Japanese cinema. From now on if a character quietly admires a river or sips a cup of tea, theaters will be taxed millions

unfortunately if you get killed by a track geometry car you go straight to heaven

Huffing a mix of accurate and inaccurate information jumbled together in a perpetually fawning tone seems to me very much like the being-on-the-computer equivalent of leaded gasoline fumes

i love this game. there's lively music and there seems to be enough chairs for everyone. wait, what happened to the music??

i'm not telling you how to feel, but i am going to lose my mind if very precedented things--like television executives behaving like evil cowards--keep being described as unprecedented.

if you think offering up a vulnerable group like trans people to the wolves is the way to political power then you are a stinky fascist loser

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

using a big f1 airwrench to jerk my dick and nuts clean off and replace them with a softer dick and nuts in 2.21s or less

it is a testament to the invincible tiresomeness of linux dorks that no one is thinking about going to mastodon

i think tetsuya yamagami did it

The last time they called for full martial law and a blood soaked civil war was like yesterday over cracker barrel changing their logo

Shit like this is EXACTLY why myself and so many others were sounding the alarm when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars.

hmm

99% of the people on here wont be brave enough search their groupchat for "zydeco" and post the results

i think that dobald trump may have committed some wrongdoings

the main reason democrats arent doing good things is that they dont want to

anne hathaway is stealing shakespeare's wif e valor

once again deeply grateful that lootboxes/cosmetics/etc have only ever registered as a mild diversion and annoyance for me

important to be a "problems can be addressed" communist and not an "problems are easy" communist

i feel like this moment would be a little easier if any of the people who have been scammed in their attempt to become a scammer was able to admit that they got scammed

remember how much it sucked when a covid vaccine was like 9 to 36 months away and then felt like a fucking miracle when it arrived

It's cool that we have entered the phase of America where government, business, medicine, and even science are led by scammers doing crimes. The best you can do is try to figure how not to be ruined by all the scams. Also a lot of stupid people believe the scams are good and want them.

"could transition have saved her? tier list F: beatles (u2, coldplay) D: inhuman murderers (btk killer, desantis, ted k) C: werner herzog (german director) B: tedious musicians (fred durst, big bopper) A: skeletal remains of uncertain gender (lindow man, otzi, rfk junior) S: the world trade center

unlimited war on emojis (all kinds). use your words

The bank app is telling me to "tap & pay like a boss😏" and "rally my crew". I am 37 years old and you are the bank. Don't talk to me this way.

i don’t want to be Loyal. i don’t want to be Enrolled. i’m trying to go to the store

The Uncivilised Cat — Agnes Miller Parker, 1930

whanged my leg insanely hard on a speaker while dancing. the should invent a body that is invincible

de minimis is french for "the minimis"

as a "straighlor" (person who believes taylor swift is straight) i have been persecuted my whole life

people who like to say "thats how they get you" have been feasting for decades at this point. nearly everything is now how they get you