I went for a walk on my lunch (1.83mi) in my biz casual, so I;m definitely thinking of skipping my Friday workout and going to get a pizza and some beers.

When you send that risky text and she doesn’t reciprocate:

when you thought someone was waving at you and you waved back but it was for someone else behind you and your friends laughed at your dumbass

We did it, Joe.

Friday vibin' open.spotify.com/track/2fS7XW...

New desk decoration. Not pictured, the free rally flag they gave us in the "Party Section".

Drugmaker Evita Solutions announced on its website that the Food and Drug Administration signed off on its low-cost form of the pill, which is approved to end pregnancies through 10 weeks.

I admit we are having an illiberal time here. But even trump hasn't (to my knowledge) lured a reporter into a trap so that he could have them sawed into pieces small enough to put into suitcases.

Just a periodic reminder that some of the most politically outspoken athletes/entertainers right now are big ass wrassling dudes, particularly in AEW where their boss lets them have free expression instead of doing events next to Donald Trump and moving Wrestlemania to Saudi Arabia

Y'all, Chili's is getting out of the skillet queso game. 🚨⚠️HOT TAKE ALERT🚨⚠️ Skillet queso is garbage. Good riddance. markets.ft.com/data/announc....

I miss polls. IMPROMPTU STRAW POLL! Which boots should I get?

These ICE commercials every break are a beating. Would almost rather see stupid Texas political ads.

Was that a work or a shoot?

Anyone I know down with Frank Turner?? I don't usually plan ANYTHING a year out, but this is going to be an exception.

Jane Goodall's work insisting, with evidence from her brilliant and tenacious fieldwork, that we were not so separate from animals, and they were much more like us than the Eurocentric theorists asserted, was so important.

Middle of the day and my cousin sends me 47 Instagram reels knowing full well I can't do no work when I have notifications that require my attention. 🤣

PREACH IT GLAMOUR - PREACH IT

As the idiot memecoin chucklefucks throwing fluorescent sex toys on the court during WNBA games made abundantly clear…

pete hegseth, who you will recall has been accused of domestic abuse and sexual assault, has announced a new policy by which you cannot file anonymous complaints of mistreatment. sex criminal solidarity.

I *FINALLY* got the invite to the WhatsApp group for traditional Malaysian food made here in town and, y'all, I AM GEEKED. About drop hella coins on some food I can't even pronounce. If any of y'all's ethnic cuisine is sold via WhatsApp, lemme know. I need those invitations, too. 🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾

Your regular reminder that residents of Puerto Rico are American citizens. This shouldn't be a difficult concept to grasp and yet...

time for the tweet again

79. American citizen.

I mean yes this is funny, but the fact that these unconstitutional stormtroopers are so directionless that they literally stand around waiting for random nonwhite delivery guys to bike past them is just pathetic. No mandate, no mission, no clue. Just racism.

I kinda want to go to the Super Bowl now

At least we can all agree that those City Connect™ unis were absolute garbage. Can't wait to see the new ones. I hope they feature gerrymandered maps or maybe shuttered rural hospitals.

Fitting end to this season. Thanks, Rangers. It sure was a season. ⚾ #Béisbol

Well, holy shit. apnews.com/article/aust...

We're keeping the vibe on track today. open.spotify.com/track/4dmkly...

Use this to dial in today's vibez. open.spotify.com/track/2DYOj0...

The “thin blue line” refers to the blue sharpie cops carry around to write left wing slogans on shell casings found near mass shootings.

I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything as much as ICE loves violently attacking women.

sure jan

Tacodeli (your new favorite) even does them as tacos. You know, in case you weren't already convinced.

While you can eat them anytime, there's one week left in "Chiles en Nogada SZN"! Typically eaten in August and September to celebrate Mexican Independence Day, this dish represents the vibrancy of both the Mexican people and Mexican cuisine!

Vote for Corey Seager! The Roberto Clemente Award is the annual recognition of a Major League player who best represents the game of baseball through extraordinary character, community involvement, philanthropy and positive contributions, both on and off the field. www.mlb.com/community/ro...

A month after Katrina hit New Orleans, Rita slammed into the Texas Coast. This was also the weekend of ACL Festival. Affectionately referred to as the "Dust Bowl" year, 30-40mph winds combined with 100F+ degree temps made for a wild weekend. youtu.be/Vu-DbaKzoDM?...

Active shooter in Dallas?? I-35 and Empire Central is what I heard, but can't find anything yet.

Bucees to this spicy peanut butter and caramel popcorn that has no business being this damn good.

i guess i don’t necessarily MIND when strangers ask me what my tattoos ‘mean’ i just wish i had a better answer about most of them than ‘it means i had $90 once’

SCRATCH EM, CATS!

A pop up box on Tylenol dot com

Ryan Clark is a clown. His takes on Tom Brady and Peighton Manning should disqualify him from being allowed to speak about football for a while, but here we are. This dude is a clown, but he ain't wrong here. Local radio guys have been saying this for years.

Buying a 90's model Toyota this afternoon to prepare.

This ought to be engraved somewhere.

Someone get AI to generate a picture of Iran's Supreme Leader dunking on Bruce Pearl. I would try, but my AI privileges got revoked.

Bruce Pearl's plans for the first afternoon in Heaven after the rapture.