I’m watching Pom Poko. We really ought to train raccoons to be ecoterrorists, imo

Dear Pope Leo, please join me and my army of sweaty otherwise-unemployables as we do racist state violence. This will change your mind.

A lot of people don’t know this, but bats actually fly a lot faster into hell than they do out of hell

I hate when my breath smells like my mouth

What's the height cut-off for contempt? I am often told that I am beneath contempt, but what if I were to stand on my tiptoes

In their defense, if they kept the complications in the final cut the runtime would have exceeded 12 hours

Bluesky's admins run this place like they are chaperoning a middle school dance

Two-time loser poised to rack up an historic third L

There’s no way the Gritty Is a Killer guy was serious. I know these are “special” times we live in, but there is a limit to credulity, even for someone as stupid as me

Me: any notifs for me today? Postman: *frowns & shakes head wordlessly*

It’s been almost 3 years since the war in Gaza started & Gritty has still not condemned Hamas.

Hunger is not a games to me

Wearing this to my next high-school reunion & not saying a word to anyone

Literally ruining the magic of what makes gas station drugs special. The mystery is 99% of the experience

Hmm but how can this be a “gift” link when it is sending me to the NYT website?

She makin’ biscuits in bed

I don't really care about Hasan Piker but I will say his greatest offenses pale in comparison to even the weakest Scooby Doo villains

Oh my god, my waffle! Oh, the humanity!

Will be holding in my pee until further notice

she just redecorated #caturday

I learned in math that something can infinitely keep going toward a more negative number so there's no telling how low Trump's approval rating may be 100 years from now

Well, well, well... if it isn't all of you on the all of you website, as usual...

@chilidishgambino.bsky.social i didn’t know you were diagnosed w autism until just now. My aunt is diagnosed (but also has ‘intellectual disabilities’; possibly just she was horribly socialized in the 60s) but its always seemed a mysterious thing to me… but then at the same time, very relatable

Saying happy earth day to ppl instead of earth feels like stolen valor imo. The old girl is like 6 billion years old, give her some credit

I guess literally anything passes for an orb these days. Hate to say it, but I think the golden age of orbs has passed

It's unbelievable that people just line up at the trough & eat this shit up. Legacy news always frames this shit as "'X country' we attacked without provocation" "frustrating" peace talks for having the temerity to act as any other so-called sovereign would when under attack.

Kid: daddy there’s a monster under my bed Dad: don’t be silly honey if there was a monster under the bed the landlord would be charging us out the ass for it

I have to admit, it is very funny when conservatives lose their shit as well as their power at the same time

Did anyone do a “talk about your Windsor knot” joke for this yet? Sorry I’m new here

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

I don’t do poster tiers. All posters are equally bad.

It's so cool how correlation equals causation

Bluesky: A Text-based Adventure

All hail Avis Rex

*squinting furiously at the empty bluesky image box* the dress is blue...gold? no, fuck. the dress is white gold? how the fuck does anyone figure this shit out??

I'm hearing from sources close to bluesky that the next big update is going to include images inside of the empty square img placeholders we all know & love. will follow up as information comes to me

First, they came for bluesky's photos & I did not speak out b/c the rest of bluesky fucking broke before i could

If image uploads are working for you I am going to assume you are a rich asshole w/ connections & therefore a class traitor

Some fool tried to upload a huge bitmap file to bluesky, causing the servers to heave & groan one last time before passing into the night. RIP, it will be missed

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

I hate that visits with my dad are what I consider “good” now if he’s verbal beyond yes or no. Today was a rly good visit tho & with his disease advancing to end stage they are little mercies that I appreciate a lot

I was denied my nap this afternoon & I am hoppin’ mad

Now I’m not gonna start calling myself the Oracle or anything, but

I wish I could get reward points for using the school bathroom. I’d be raking them in at this point

I hope spring stops fucking around soon b/c I am ready for sustained warmth, man

Why is the new Michael Jackson movie pg-13 I thought he was always adamant about including younger audiences

Do they still make fruit with real sugar