ok new theory: It Has Happened and we are all in hell with him

I hope to feel as much joy one day as Viola Davis felt getting to read Michael B. Jordan's name off that card. The Oscars race got fun tonight!

I’m actually not sure we can come back from “prediction markets for war crimes”, as a society. I think this might be it for us.

We are all going to be so fucked up when Harrison Ford dies.

I wish I could look like a bird who was also a superhero

I personally would not say shit to Ilhan Omar when her blood sugar is almost certainly at an ebb

the year is 2026. AI has taken your job and fucked your spouse, so you have no choice but to bet on war started by a pedophile to make a living

This is the same reason I get mad at the Dems constantly insisting every shitty thing Trump does is a distraction from the last shitty thing Trump did. Buddy, I’ve got nothing but time and rage, I can be mad at all of it AND at you, too.

I really hated the movie at the time, but the more distance I get from Civil War, the less stupid the ending seems.

Can think of nothing more cowardly than pressing a button to shoot a missile that will land dozens or hundreds of miles away. Little bottle of water next to your desk. "Yes sir" and all that shit. Walking around saluting each other. Fucking losers. Killers.

an updated debbie downer sketch but it's friends showing her funny videos and she has to respond like this to every single one like this:

Letterboxd last 4. It was a gentle week.

“You can‘t buy hamburger anymore, but at least you can call the kid at the cash register the n word when you buy your victory meat. Isn’t that what really matters in the end?”

Now reading:

Anyone clowning Mamdani for this is not a serious person. He's doing exactly what any leader should do when the sundowning fascist develops an anime crush on them: exploit that shit to the fullest.

me, flirting: "i like whatever's wrong with you"

every year millions are tricked into tuning in to the state of the union on the false hope that this year will be the year a president dies on live tv They never die on tv they all die on the toilet and then their bodies are moved somewhere more dignified before the authorities are called

One of the many horrible things Trump 2.0 has made crystal clear for me - from the tenor of the Epstein emails to the way Trump talks to women reporters down to the goddamn Olympics hockey team - is just how much men fucking hate us. I'll never forget it, I'll never let it go.

i think he's going to shit and fart on stage and probably blame something on trans people and/or say an incredibly old timey slur for like, polish people or something

Seeing a lot of discourse about whether Davidson "owes" anyone an apology, how a condition absolves one of "owing" remorse for an action. I deeply hate this framework. The "I do not owe you..." framework. We all owe each other everything, we're all we have. That framework only serves to divide us.

Why am I suddenly seeing all these young Gen Z girls wearing Playboy logos like it’s 1999, we don’t have to do this again

- The Little Mermaid (in French) - Schindler's List - Stand by Me (I was way too young and got scared) - The Miracle Worker - Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet (teacher turned it off after Kate Winslet flashed a second of side-boob)

my favorite Mardi Gras memory came near the end of Fat Tuesday, at a dance party near the Slab. I turned around and saw a man holding a framed portrait of David Lynch. He rested his cheek against the glass and danced with it for like an hour

I do not enjoy the fact they’ve let him go, but I do enjoy the picture of him looking like he’s just received the shock of his life

"excuse me sir, there must be some mistake- i voted to create the camps, not live in the zone of interest" is like every trump voter

Again it's so funny the projects that obviously started coming together in the winter of '24 expecting to meet a permanent cultural sea change only to arrive at the moment when everyday people are fighting the secret police and dancing their asses off to Bad Bunny. Better luck next time.

Noonan's got monologue in "What Happened Was..." that wrecked me: "It’s like something broke in me a long time ago, and I don’t know what it was and it’s too hard for me to keep trying. There are a lot of things I want to do with my life and I’m so far behind now, I’m never going to catch up."

Girls only want one thing and it’s to punch nazis in the face.

unfortunately the blob has run into some serious medical issues and his people could use a financial hand gofund.me/e837f1a1c

a neighbor set up this werewolf for halloween and instead of taking it down they just update it with seasonal outfit changes. now it’s dressed for valentine’s day and holding a sign with a picture of bad bunny and his super bowl slogan. i love him.

If you walk into a man’s apartment and you don’t see ANY books, pick up your pussy and LEAVE!!! Go back outside!!!

I saw someone say, “Emerald Fennell is Greta Gerwig’s Wario,” and I haven’t stopped laughing 😭

My neighbor was like, “Hey, I’m cleaning out my guest room, know anyone who wants a banjo?” and now I have a banjo

i often think about this review

It was a good week

You ever just sit around and think about how much you miss Jim Henson

This is in fact the only way to my heart.

16 hard nos here for me, an infant

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

It’s been a good birthday

I’m on top of Piestewa Peak, a mountain I last climbed in February 2020, right as my life and the world was on the precipice of uncomfortable change. I hadn’t felt strong enough to climb it in the years since. Today, I did. 2026 is the year of doing hard things and kicking their ass.

This should be illegal on my birthday!!!!!

It’s my birthday, you are legally obligated to pay me one (1) compliment.

Spielberg and PTA know what’s up

Add 20 pounds of beer gut to this picture and Kid Rock is a dead ringer for my dad's dead piece of shit alcoholic brother who once said the most breathtakingly racist thing I've ever heard a person say, like the resemblance is freaking me out.

Because it’s not art, it’s propaganda.