Wait a sec- $10 to check my systolic pressure and $10 to check the diastolic pressure? AYFKMWTS. Yes, next time just check one. Or just fucking charge me $20.

It's bizarre. They think that we live in Europe, where being teargassed or even struck with a baton is the most serious thing you can expect from the cops. The cops here shoot to kill with no rhyme or reason.

Cunts, every one of em

Remember, being shot by police while you’re violently attacking the US Capitol is murder, but not wanting to let masked government thugs into your car means you deserve to be murdered.

The only reason an administration is surviving the scandals that have happened **this week alone** is because an entire political party has sold its mortal soul and abandoned any sense of decency or restraint in service to a lout.

Just got a message from an old Canadian friend - and, he’s so concerned about us & the US. 😞

This dumb motherfucker doesn't even know how a pyramid works. Wide part on the bottom, son.

There are ghosts in your house but don't be so arrogant to think they have the time or energy to fuck your shit about.

It's called a slush fund.

I have had enough. I was more than content to say impeachment was pointless because he will never be convicted by the Senate, and to just focus on impeachment of his lackeys. But you know what? Impeach him anyway. Create an extensive written record of his high crimes and misdemeanors.

“I let my students AI and they love it!” Cool, I bet they do love having more time not to learn the content and skills in your class while also destroying the environment JFC AYFKMWTS

Leavitt was wearing Ri Chun-hee's outfit today (photo via Getty)

Abolish and prosecute ICE. They did a murder in broad daylight today. Imagine what they're doing in the closed facilities we're somehow not even allowed to see.

Just saw the video of the ICE shooting in Minnesota. That’s murder, full stop. You don’t shoot someone in the head for trying to flee the scene.

Pig.

If you think ICE are the good guys you are probably one of the bad guys.

Every second the murderer is not arrested is another second for feds to hide him in a place that would create a jurisdictional fight. He's on video killing a person. You have to arrest this guy an hour ago, but you might still have time now.

$40,000,000,000 to bailout Argentina's economy. Untold billions to fix Venezuela's infrastructure. Donald is always coming up with ways to squander American taxpayer money on other countries.

I just attended a Kristi Noem unveiling. Refreshments were served.

This is a precise, succinct summation.

I agree I should not have an opinion on the murder of someone my age in cold blood. Look, man, usually I just ignore you, but if your reaction to this isn't a deep anger, I kind of don't want to hear it. I'm trying to find the right way to protest as we speak, and I suggest you do the same.

😔

Don’t say “CSAM,” say “child sex abuse.” Don’t let them hide behind acronyms.

Well, that’s what I get for pissing beneath your eaves on a rainy day

How to walk on the icy streets of Boston today. 1 To walk on ice, keep your center of gravity over your front leg. 2 One animal that has this figure out is a penguin. 3 Think of yourself as a penguin and you'll be all right.

What about natural born, pure as snow white Americans who commit fraud?

these guys aren't pretending to offer Greenlanders or any of their neoimperialist victims freedom or equality or self-determination. they're just offering to consume them and despoil their land of natural resources. An earlier generation of Americans would have hung them at nuremberg for it

This is Chilli. He can go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. Uses this extraordinary ability to say good morning very promptly. 14/10 (IG: chilli.thegreyhound)

Trying out a new parking lot for lunch. It's crunchy.

I don't usually stay until the end of someone's credits but you're giving similarity vibes to persons BEYOND living or dead and it can't be purely coincidental

Almost every day at work, one of the custodians pops by my office and says,"you're still here!" and sometimes we talk about his Godzilla collection. I think he's planning to take me out with the biggest Godzilla and so far it hasn't worked so he's surprised but still seems happy to see me anyway.

This artificial skin, inspired by octopuses, can change its colour and surface texture on demand go.nature.com/44WUbuD

Unclench your jaw…

judging from my least popular skeet, there are about 14 of you who will like anything. same.

*crop dusts the timeline

🎯🎯🎯

Garcia uses his opening statement during Comer's Minnesota fraud hearing to point out that "some of the worst fraud and corruption is actually found at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" and that the administration is punishing innocent kids

US Military Strategy is hard to understand w all that male insecurity & flaccid dicks flapping around

Ricardo Montalban would be so disappointed!

Me: I luv this new coffee, It doesn’t burn my tongue Husband: that’s wine Me: still not burning

She's got to be even dumber than she looks. Vaccinating your kids against childhood diseases known to kill & maim protects them against dying from those diseases. Rubbing dirt on your kid helps boost & train their immune systems overall. They're not alternatives, they are two sides of the same coin!

Good morning.☕️☕️

Are you creating worldwide panic by upending the global order established by the end of WW2 to A. Own the libs, or B. Make a shitload of money during the crisis while people are distracted They'll say it's A because it's B

Today's abstract concept is hope. #AlphabetChallenge #WeekAForAbstract

The rich, Corinthian leather in some Chrysler Cordobas must’ve really suffered terribly.

🙄🙄

Remember when the Orange Anus assured his voters he would bring down grocery prices. Oh. The good ol days. 😑🖕