I think one of my favourite paintings is the one where Captain Oates has just been kicked in the balls by a penguin.

Comedy end to humanity: Everybody involved in the UK’s nuclear deterrence program assumes somebody else told the sub captains about Radio 4 long wave being turned off.

I saw in passing someone pull out the old “China is emitting more carbon than we are” argument today and I’d love to know how much of that carbon is in fact going into stuff being made for export to the nations regularly trying to shirk responsibility by saying that.

Free TV show idea if anyone fancies pitching it to Netflix: All The Tools, a cookery competition show in which amateur chefs are presented with a selection of kitchen gadgets and some ingredients. They have one hour to make a two course meal with whatever they’ve got. They do not have any pans.

only Hull is spared

Look, Americans, British homes aren't designed with air conditioning in mind. Our architecture values other things: heat retention, space management, trapdoors, automated breakfast-serving mechanisms which can be operated by a literal dog

I have to say, it's making me feel a little insane hearing commentators say Ed Miliband shouldn't be chancellor because of his "ideological zeal" for Net Zero, in a week where temperatures are so extreme that my kids are being sent home early every day and it's regularly 30 degrees inside my house

Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment I present to you what might well be the most carefully compiled word search ever.

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

They’re calling it the least comprehensible achievement of all time.

Love the silliness of all the news networks providing live updates on one specific train’s journey from Manchester because until it arrives they’ve got nothing to report on the biggest story of the day.

My siblings in Christ, there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to go through the sign in dance to watch this video I was scrolling past.

i for one have full confidence in the trump administration's ability to adequately refit a plane donated by a foreign government into a highly secure mobile command center for the united states executive, following their unquestionably successful renovation of A Large Pool of Water

They’re calling it the quote on British politics that ended the need for all other quotes

this is the best video i've seen today

You know what, I reckon I could be into football after all.

Paw Patrol rescue missions have a 70% fatality rate for people they attempt to save, but that’s still a very impressive ratio for dog first responders

Maria: Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Von Trapps: You wanted to Maria: Here you go create another fable Von Trapps: You wanted to

Huh. I wonder why the “users give scans of their eyeballs to Sam Altman for no discernible benefit” startup is failing

This. This is the cyberpunk future I was promised, stealing compute from the corpos.

every company from june 1st until june 30th

Made the mistake of posting a throwaway reply about paywalls suggesting it would be good if we had a way to sustainably fund online news media, which means I’ve been getting a steady stream of replies telling me better things are impossible. Guess I’ll be muting that one.

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The wolf is blissfully unaware of what a share price is and why people might shudder at the mention of venture capital.

"there comes a time when we all must put away our childish things" no, we don't. I will not be doing that

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Skill issue. In this situation I would finally learn how to play Paradox games.

Here’s an idea they can have for free. The AI-generated audiences can be shown the AI-generated ads, everyone involved in that can feel very smug, and then the rest of us can read a news article without having to agree to letting them have our firstborn when they come of age.

Typing up my little spreadsheets is not more exhausting than subsistence farming.

I see his point. Zero times two is still zero.

Someone at Plex has discovered the fine art of pricing so high no one buys the thing you no longer want to sell.

Euston, we have a problem.

"Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego--" WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKING NARC???

Firstly, of course it’s fucking Hey Jude. Secondly, did anyone actually ask him or did he just send out a press release saying “I reckon everyone in America should buy my song again, my pension doesn’t come in until next week and I fancy another house”?

The fact that Keir Starmer has drafted Morgan McSweeney back in to save him has to be funniest part of all of this. Truly committed to never learning a single lesson you have to give it to him

which restaurant is serving something in this style? i just want to talk.

heard a guy say "you have to access it through the portal" and i was momentarily struck by how sad it is that what he said is so boring :( "accessing it via the portal" should be wonderful. we deserve that at least. it should be cool to access it via the portal and instead it sucks shit

Despite Andy Weir somehow being oblivious to the meaning behind his own book Project Hail Mary was exactly the film I needed today, a story of science and cooperation with people who are (very) different to you saving the day, and bringing personal joy at the same time.

Or if you only want a very slight increase, Twenty Three Centimeter Nails

I see the US are doing their annual day of making me panic that I’ve missed Mother’s Day again.

I swear to god the world would be so much easier if more people had grown up in the heady environment of online message boards and learned to spot obvious trolls from an early age.

Embrace tradition, post to your walls again.

Andressen’s morning affirmations get weird real quick.

This is a great example of both the usual reasons crypto sucks (irrevocable automated instant transfers are bad) and ALSO the reasons AI is fundamentally insecure and you should never ever let it within a hundred yards of anything mission-critical or valuable.

Was there a plague of prune flavoured sausages? Also the bit under the more details reveal is somehow even better.

Isn’t that always how trousers are sold?

Every single time. Conservatives/Republican opposition runs on how financially irresponsible the left are and then when they get elected rack up debt funding vanity projects and tax breaks for the rich. How do we never learn?

Normalise holiday auto-replies that read “I am on holiday and any emails received while I am will be automatically deleted unread, please contact me again after [date] if it mattered”.

Decided to watch Handmaid’s Tale again, or at least try to. I’ve made it further than last time (where I got 15 minutes into episode 2 before decided I didn’t have the mental fortitude) so maybe it’s a goer this time round, despite feeling a lot more real than it did in 2017.