RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/

calling out of work to attend a nazi rally and not even telling them a fake reason

FUCK IT!!!!! TIMELINE CLEANSE!!!!! ROLL THE CLIP!!!!!!

btw you should short johnson and johnsons stock immediately

"War is Peace," "Freedom is Slavery," "Ignorance is Strength" Only a fool would believe this is the point. Forcing you to accept a lie when you know it’s a lie, and you know the truth.

To be clear: this entire “we’ve got to run more pro-lifers” insanity is because literally a week ago polling showed that Democrats would prefer politicians like AOC and Mamdani over Jefferies and Schumer by, let me emphasize this, a 20 point fucking margin. www.politico.com/news/2025/09...

Acetaminophen/paracetamol use in pregnancy doesn't cause autism, no matter what RFK says this week. This is not an unsettled question. Evidence summarized here: sciencebasedmedicine.org/tylenol-and-...

Charlie Kirk's grieving widow had just left the stage moments before the fireworks for Trump kicked off. Just so wildly and blatantly inappropriate for a memorial service for someone else. Fucking nuts.

Bearing your cross is a lot easier with wheels.

I like how the bible literally says "no one knows the day or hour of Jesus' return" but these folks still do numerology every 18 months or so and come up with a "for sure" date for the rapture as if their own holy book didn't tell them not to do this

The Man Doxxing Americans for Not Mourning Charlie Kirk was Accused of Pistol-whipping a Woman substack.com/@jpaladino/n...

James Talarico flips the script on MAGA

lmao

Happy 21st of September 🎉….do you remember?

Someone was trying to take a portrait of their two fave Chickens, and this happened.

Crockett: "I'm gonna honor someone who decided they were going to proclaim I was involved in the 'great white replacement'? Yeah, I'm not honoring that ... it's unfortunate more of my colleagues even on my side couldn't see the amount of harm this man was attempting to inflict upon our communities"

Even I knew it was bullshit and my school did not have a geography class so if I spot in error in someone’s geography knowledge it means they need to be in a memory care unit.

This is what happens when you hire a bunch of conservatives as editors and writers.

everything changed, everything destroyed, everything gone

Disney adults, I owe you an apology, I wasn’t really familiar with your game.

God bless whoever put up this pro-upzoning poster in Edgewater, please put up more

These guys are simply not smart.

About 10 years ago there used to be this type of guy that any time you would bring climate change would go "what about China's coal plants? isn't that doing more damage than anything in the U.S.?" and anyway i'm just thinking about that for some reason

When it became clear the shooter was yet another white cis male from a pro-gun MAGA family they went into overdrive trying to push the "left because LGBTQ+ angle". As if Dave Rubin, Peter Thiel, or Caitlyn Jenner are on the left

*taps sign*

This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem

america is ready for a president that’s a bulbasaur

society could not comprehend a woman with a penis and now super nazis are going to destroy the world

I’m tired of downloading an app to pay for parking. Let me give you quarters or give me a ticket.

Coffee shops are the heart of darkness for republicans. All their horror stories take place inside them. They have taken the place of the forest in middle American gothic.

At some point the public is going to realize that Republicans have been riding a decades long wave of outrage about things that never happened, right?

He's turning into Ursula Le Guin

Do you know how badly things have to be going in America for us to be owned this hard by the Dutch? The Dutch of all people

This song always pissed me off because she hits ice and throws her hands into the air and I would always scream at the radio “KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL AND TURN INTO THE SLIDE”

please don't print in the paper that irony killed me

guy who concluded biden has dementia because he forgot to execute trump for treason

THE HYPOCRISY IS THE POINT!!

Surely a 68-year-old director who has made two movies in the past 42 years is well-suited to reboot his own movie about a trans teenager on a killing spree in a way that adapts the material to meet the challenges of an age saturated in anti-trans propaganda

Battle axe. Stuffed bear. Mace. Pillow. Cactus. Blanket. These are just a few of the things you should not have in a baby's sleep space.

we back up. ⚪ the Guardians after sweeping Detroit. ⚪ your plumbing when you flush wipes. 🔘 all of the above.

I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius

#RECALL: Five Below Recalls Tabletop Fire Pits; Alcohol fuel can splash or leak out of the fire pit reservoir during use and/or ignition, causing a flash fire. Get refund. Full notice: www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2025...