The real heroes -- and absolute coolest dudes -- of "Star Wars: Episode I" are the Sand People who hang out in the canyon to shoot at podracers

Honestly, I think the US became a failed state when they decided guns were more important than their own children and we’re just watching the end.

Maybe the best development on the internet in recent years is our collective acknowledgement that April Fools Day sucks assssss.

That Jurassic Park Xfinity commercial with original cast members de-aged would be an abomination even if it had no dialogue, but having Ian Malcolm say "WiFi finds a way" and Alan Grant cheerfully declare that he is signing off on the park because he's having so much fun is just vomitiously wrong

Reminder to check your public library to borrow stuff for free like video games, books/ebooks, movies (including digital/streaming), and possibly even free museum passes and other goodies

absolutely incredible. Trump might have done more damage to American imperial power than anyone ... ever?

you wouldnt believe this big wooden horse, oh it’s so beautiful you wouldnt believe and theyre saying “mr trump youll never get that horse in.” look at em back there. the fake news. but we’re gonna bring in that horse folks and we’ll say “thank you, bye bye” but they don’t think we can get it in

(worf voice) ICE agents are worthless despicable people, who by their choice of career have utterly disgraced themselves; there is but one honorable course of action available to them, but... (clenching teeth, visibly frustrated) i am bound by Community Guidelines, and can say no more on the matter

You know how in a library no one’s trying to sell you anything? That’s how the internet was.

2006 internet: RSS feeds, forums, communities of hobby blogs, where people post about interior design, fashion, and music for free 2026 internet: sponsored content, paid partnership, buy my merch, try my supplements, invest in my crypto, click link in bio to unlock the secrets of life for $30

Or you can just reorganize your DVD shelf, apologize to your kid that you’re all out of copies of “Dude, Where’s My Car” and ask your spouse to complain that the only copy you have available of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” is the subtitled version. Guarantee it’s just like it was back in my day.

hate to be a debbie downer but as a veteran of living through economic collapse sparked by republican policy, not looking forward to the next decade or so

time to share my essay on The Fugitive again since St. Patrick's Day aka Dr. Richard Kimble Day is almost upon us

Taylor Sheridan has one boring idea about who does and does not qualify as real & authentic and he's just going to keep repeating it until the TV industry runs out of money to pay him

a 2028 campaign ad where the average american voter is represented as the guy from memento but all the tattoos are like “every republican president destroys the economy and starts a war in the middle east“ or “trump was president during covid”

Always a thrill to read an essay by Betty Gilpin www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Everything is bad, but at least I can focus on my dissertation chapter about how the British in 1915 didn’t have the navy to force a strait when it needed to because it spent the previous decades funding their army’s misadventures in unimportant areas that turned into expensive quagmires.

“International Women’s Day” ending up on the only 23 hour day of the year.

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

Iranian hackers threatening to hack into the top 3 credit bureaus and wiping Americans debt… and I just wanna know who I gotta speak to in order to expedite this.

Minnesota would like a word.

"No stupid rules of engagement" means no Geneva Conventions or other international humanitarian laws, which the U.S. signed and supported for more than a century. Hegseth and Trump are pro-war crimes.

I've seen enough. Clearly this experiment is working. It is time for a Michael C. Jordan.

FIFA has officially issued President Trump a yellow card. If he assassinates another world leader, it’ll become an automatic red card and he won’t be eligible for another FIFA Peace Prize for 4 years.

Imagine you're paying like $100 a month or whatever for Claude and realizing the government used the same shit to kill schoolchildren in Iran. And they're using your tax money to pay for it. So you're paying Claude twice to kill kids. Crazy.

You know that genre of films in the late 80’s/early 90’s where kids suddenly got to live like adults? BIG, BLANK CHECK, LITTLE BIG LEAGUE, ROOKIE OF THE YEAR, HOME ALONE? That’s basically how our govt is run now.

Obama signed a peace deal. It was working extremely well. Trump ripped it up and started a war instead.

I mean they are going to be increasingly relying on ChatGPT to do it for them.

Fucking hell. We’re being plunged into war with Iran by people who have the mindset of edgy middle schoolers with “EPIC FURY” doodled across the cover of a notebook in spikey font.

“Mr President, your approval ratings are in the toilet, the economy is looking increasingly brittle, and you are sailing one tide ahead of a swarm of personal and corruption scandals. The midterms are looking ominous.” “What if I started a war of choice and made gas $7 per gallon this summer?”

It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done - started a war in the middle east - completely destroyed the economy

The Daily Show reminded us in the montage below how Netanyahu has LIED about the "imminent" threat of Iran obtaining nuclear weapons since 1995. Netanyahu has for years wanted US to bomb Iran. Netanyahu simply found in Trump a moron willing to sacrifice Americans for his cause:

Jesus Christ they're running the war from Mar-a-Lago www.reuters.com/world/us/top...

Two categories of analysts who might take a step back, away from the microphone or keyboard, this weekend: —Those who assured us that Trump was the real anti-war candidate. —Those who assured us that invading Iraq was necessary and would work out great.

an updated debbie downer sketch but it's friends showing her funny videos and she has to respond like this to every single one like this:

Cherish and safely store every Warner Bros. movie you own, especially the ones that weren't hits

This sucks so so so so much.

Time to bust out tic-tac-toe.

The Mighty Milkshake Ducks

“the president’s speech is going to be over two hours long!” they’re doing kalshi shit guys. they’re leaking a bunch of stuff about a super long speech and he’ll go about 2 minutes short of the supposed mark and everyone in the white house will make $200k on it

U.S. men's hockey with Curt-Schilling-in-Boston levels of good will squandering. A 25-mile lead in the good will marathon and they tripped on their dicks right at the finish line.

in public, the men's hockey team has been supportive of the women's team, going to games, cheering them on, saying they were inspired by the OT golden goal must be gutting to feel that support and then get first-hand evidence that behind closed doors, when it's just The Boys, they're laughing at you

Kash Patel says he now has a lead that Savannah Guthrie's mom is being held at either the NCAA Final Four or the Masters golf tournament, plans to personally investigate.

The reason we're here is that tens of millions of people will punch a hole in a wall if they hear someone used food stamps to buy soda but they're fine if the right-wing podcaster turned fbi director uses his taxpayer funded private jet to go party whenever he feels like it bsky.app/profile/thed...

Aaaaand now I wish Canada had won and spared us all this scene.