11 YO: “Phish is such a dumb name for a band.” Me: “Phish is named after their drummer, Jon Fishman, and the PH was just them being clever.” 11 YO: “What’s your definition of clever?” 8 YO: “Hello, Police, I’d like to report a murder.” Having children is the best way to stay humble.

See y’all at Dicks! (For the people who follow me and don’t listen to Phish, I can assure you this is a totally normal thing to say if you do.)

At 1:30 in the morning, my electric toothbrush turned on without anyone touching it. Then it turned off. A few minutes later, it turned back on. Then off. Then it stayed on no matter what I did. So… broken toothbrush OR am I being haunted by a ghost dentist?

I thought, “So many famous people have died lately. What the hell is going on?” Then I realized, “It’s probably the same number of famous people dying; I’ve just gotten old enough that the people dying actually meant something to me while I was growing up and so their deaths are more impactful.”

Got the day off of work. It’s pouring rain. So I’m gonna spend the day making a new Serious Eats chili verde recipe, reading, and maybe I’ll fuck around and buy myself a new vacuum. Might even make my kids watch The Iron Giant with me.

I really enjoy watching Daniel Donato play guitar in-person. Finally convinced a buddy to check him out and he kept looking over at me with some “holy shit!” eyes.

Andy at the bank in Shawshank cashing out as Randall Stevens made me choke up and cry in theaters from how mf’n joyously brilliant this payoff was

GROSSE POINTE BLANK: Martin decides not to bring a gun to his high school reunion. There, a classmate gives him a promotional pen from his business. Later, Martin defeats an assassin by killing him with the pen. After disposing of the body, Martin runs into the classmate. “Thank you for the pen.”

The flame thrower in ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. It’s introduced as a gag in a clip from a Rick Dalton movie. Then we see it in Rick’s shed later, where it’s both payoff (in the form of background gag) and plant (letting us know it’s there so Rick can use it in the climax.)

You’re writing a script about a killer shark, reach Act 3 and need to figure out how to kill this unkillable monster. What if it chomps on an oxygen tank and blows itself up? That could work but must be set up earlier. So this week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread is on PLANTS AND PAYOFFS. 🧵1

Nugs finally making their app compatible with Amazon Fire TV, Google TV, and Android TV devices is the best jamband news I’ve heard in some time. And the worst jamband news my family has heard in some time.

Even if you set aside the absurd implication that the stock market being up absolves folks from facing consequences for raping children and covering it up, it’s important to remember that the wealthiest 10% own 93% of US stocks. So the DOW hitting 50K isn’t doing a whole lot for 90% of Americans.

💯. My mentor taught me the art of egoless arguing. It’s such a great skill to learn in a collaborative environment. The work is the work. It’s not a reflection of who you are. And every idea is equal. Equally bad or equally good. Or “meh.” But everyone has to agree to do it or it doesn’t work

The showrunner is reviewing your script. She points out a joke that she absolutely loves, but you didn’t come up with it; another writer pitched it. What do you? Here’s a quick #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread on when to credit others, when to take credit, and when to keep your mouth shut. 🧵1

Everyone should take 7 min to watch this. Don’t have 7 min? Watch it on 1.5x speed. Just watch it. ps - Remember not to call the masked, federalized right wing police force that’s targeting minority and marginalized communities “Nazis” bc they haven’t killed enough people yet. youtu.be/zrcW8SZtYpI

Wet Hot American Summer is 25 years old. The first time I saw it was in 2001 with like 30 other counselors from the Jewish summer camp we all worked at. It instantly became one of my favorite movies and remains one to this day. youtu.be/2hA_vfKyUBU?...

Bellwether.

My approach to college was just to take classes I thought were interesting. Had a great experience. Here are 5 that really impacted me: 1. Ethics and Moral Value Theory 2. Civic Duty 3. American Slavery and the Holocaust 4. Screenwriting 5. Anatomy of a Script (The Godfather)

If I may add, once you come up with a character name, I suggest googling that name. I wrote a rom-com with an evil lawyer named Rick Riordan. One of my readers pointed out that Rick Riordan was the name of a decently famous author. Had to go back and change it through the whole script.

Also, please for the love of God, say your character's name aloud 😂 Some names can be a clumsy mouthful, which can kill the tone if its not a comedy. I remember having a character I loved in a novel, then realized to my horror that their named sounded like his name was 'cirrhosis' when read aloud.

I slept like crap and had multiple anxiety dreams last night, so this week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread will be a short one. Let’s talk about the DOs and DON’Ts of NAMING YOUR CHARACTERS. Something I absolutely hate and routinely overthink. But I learned a few tips and tricks… 🧵1

From Home Alone, to her Christopher Guest’ movie roles, to Schitt’s Creek, Catherine O’Hara was a comedic force at every stage of my life (child, teen, adult). We lost one of the greats today.

Cloris Leachman did a lot of incredible things, including giving me my 5 seconds of fame and one hell of a story. An absolute legend!

This week, I had to pitch the 3 EP’s on my show a new story idea for me to write. It’ll be my 9th script this season. I’ve been on the show for 3 seasons. I had a good idea + 2 solid backup ideas. I was still nervous! So this week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread is on FEAR, both good and bad. 🧵1

This is a good reminder that there’s still a lot more decent folks than bad ones (even if it often feels like the opposite is true).

I get asked about getting reps a lot and people tend to hate my answer, but you’ll get reps when you get yourself work. Many agents are happy to take their commission (sometimes hip-pocketing you) when you’ve gotten an offer and just need contract negotiation help; that’s the easy part. #Scriptsky

This week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread is on WRITERS BLOCK. Specifically, the seven things I do to avoid and/or overcome writer’s block. My focus is on writing, but this stuff works for just about any creative outlet. #WritingCommunity #Writing 🧵1

It took me a little while to land on a New Year’s resolution, but I’ve decided to cook 26 new recipes this year. I made my first tonight: grilled bok choy with a sweet soy glaze. So simple but so good my 11 year old asked for thirds. #26RecipesIn26 www.seriouseats.com/grilled-bok-...

I’ll remember you… youtu.be/WLL5p6EAFYo?...

Listened to the Weather Report Suite from Dicks Picks 1 - my favorite version of one of my favorite songs - and found myself thinking that Bobby doesn’t quite get the songwriting praise he deserves because he (and Barlow) weren’t Garcia & Hunter. But for my money, WRS is damn close to Terrapin.

I wrote this the day after seeing Dead and Company at The Sphere on 6/13/24. My tribute to Bobby Weir. I’ll remember you… 🧵1

Very quick #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread this morning because I need to go coach at an AYSO tournament in a few minutes. But I want to talk a little bit about the difference between BEING HUNGRY and BEING DESPERATE, and HOW YOU SELL YOURSELF. 🧵1

I know it pales in comparison to all the awful things going on right now, but when I went to sleep last night, I found like 100 ants on the window ledge just above my bed, as well as several IN my bed, so I did the only logical thing and burned my house down. But I still feel icky.

My 8 year old heard my wife and I discussing Venezuela. She excitedly said, “Since we kidnapped their president, now maybe they’ll kidnap ours!”

Find someone who loves you as much as my kids love the Comfort Inn breakfast buffet.

So let’s hope this Phish show was a metaphor for life. Brutal 2025. Amazing 2026!!!

#Scriptsky one of the best things you can do to help improve/motivate your writing is to read more books. It’s not a 1:1 correlation but most of the best writers I’ve worked with are voracious readers. And I’d encourage you to mix up genres, fiction and non-fiction. Here’s a 🧵 on my favs of 2026. 🧵1

I can help teach a new writer story structure, but I can’t teach them how to harness their own voice. Like Jon, my first two pilots got a lot of positive attention. My next couple were overly focused on rules and checking boxes, and weren’t nearly as impactful.

I took my 8 and 11 year old daughters to LACMA today. I LOVE listening to their insights and opinions about art. My 11 year old was checking out a Jackson Pollack painting and said, “It’s chaotic and yet calming, cuz when you look closer, there’s order in the chaos.” I’m gonna steal that line!

TIL cartons are better at preventing milk from spoiling than the plastic containers. www.chefsresource.com/faq/why-does...

There are things in life that you can control and things you can’t; focus on what you can control. That’s been my mantra since 2017. And it’s what I tell people to focus on when it comes to writing. So this week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread is about PROCESS VS RESULTS. 🧵1

Just gonna say this again for games sphere cus we get the same question: Networking doesn't mean schmoozing up to famous people, it means making friends with your peers. Then in 10 years, 20, one of you might be famous? And sure you're still helping each other cus well yeah friends. Make. Friends.

There are things in life that you can control and things you can’t; focus on what you can control. That’s been my mantra since 2017. And it’s what I tell people to focus on when it comes to writing. So this week’s #Scriptsky #Screenwriting thread is about PROCESS VS RESULTS. 🧵1

All this 15 year old pup wanted for Christmas was non-stop pets and scritches. And she got ‘em. #DogsOfBluesky #Dogs

My favorite Christmas book is, “One Thousand Christmas Beards” by Roger Duvoisin. It’s the story of Santa viciously assaulting all the people dressing up like him and stealing their fake Santa beards. Seriously.

My favorite part of holidays are cooking for my family. Tonight, we had two Melissa Clark recipes: Roman lamb over cheese polenta (pommes purée for the kids) and dark chocolate pudding w/ homegrown blackberry sauce. Plus, my wife and kids made a Yule log with meringue mushrooms.

Help me solve a Christmas mystery… There was a huge Amazon box on our doorstep this morning addressed to my 8 year old. Inside, there were plates and glasses. No one we know ordered them for us. So uh… what the hell is going on? Is this what happens when you wait until Dec 24 to make a Santa list?

My wife and I decided not to shop at Target, Walmart, and Amazon in 2025. We weren’t perfect but spent less than $100 and managed to make Christmas happen only spending $15 between the three companies. It’s not much, but it felt good to support less awful businesses.

My 11 year old just wrote a wishlist for Santa (that we aren’t allowed to see). She said, “If he’s real, he’ll get me something from it.” I spent the next 30 minutes explaining building/wrapping/packing/shipping logistics of the North Pole and why she was royally fucking over Santa.

When we did the punch-up on my very first script for Big City Greens, one of the writers who’d been on the show for a couple years said, “This script feels like 100% the tone of the show but also something only you could’ve possibly written.” That’s always what I’m aiming for.