DOCTOR: "So what seems to be the problem?" PATIENT: "Mmhbbhhggr hhruuh engghhuu." DOCTOR: "I'm sorry I can't understand, but don't worry. Great singer Bob Dylan is in town. Go see his show and no matter what ails you, you'll feel better!" PATIENT (sadly): "Ehg ddnghh m'm Bddnnn."

i'm just a girl who wrote a book of poems that has inspired a tv show that's coming out VERY SOON hahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahha for real www.instagram.com/reels/DZG8Fv...

GREG DAVIES: seems like a kind of a shit task. Everyone just seems like they're going home normally. ALEX HORNE: well before you say that let's have a look at how Odysseus did. cut to panel of AJAX, MENELAUS, AGAMEMNON, and DIOMEDES who are all staring at ODYSSEUS with his head in his hands

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Back with a new cryptic on @mycrossword.co.uk! Pretty light and punny to easy you into the weekend: "Where most writing is, in theory (2,5)" "Gas leaking in South London (7)" "Deep asleep, like gay fans of Dracula? (3,3,3,5)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3447

Sydney! This Fri & Sat my comedy game show Grifted & Talented is part of the Sydney Comedy Festival! Three comedians take part in a talent contest with no idea of what their talents will be. Can they bluff their way through? www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/event/grifte...

the third draft of the novel is finished.

I don't often post about shows I'm doing BUT are you in Sydney this weekend and wanna watch actors from Deadloch, The Testaments, The Family Law and more perform scenes with comedians from Taskmaster, Whose Line, Fisk and more? It's a very specific niche but if that's you then I have good news!!

My solve of ingenious 3-themed (or tree-teamed in Dublin :) ) puzzle by @fimjishwick.bsky.social - thank you, Jim! youtu.be/YkYotHAavtk?...

Some sample clues from my 3-themed (threemed?) puzzle! 'Doctor nursed last of 3 bears (7)' 'Gossip arising about a threesome (5)' 'Turn locks with code that's possibly 3333 (7)'

Today’s poem is called ‘The Question’.

@mycrossword.co.uk has hit 3,333 cryptic crosswords, and I've written a 3-themed puzzle to celebrate. Check it out here! www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3333

please stand for the national anthem

If Ant & Dec were sommeliers they’d have to stand the other way around

“It is beneath my dignity to let myself be run over by any trolley, and particularly this trolley, burdened as it is by a cape and a stupid hat.” I wrote for Defector about boycotting Harry Potter, the ‘safe’, kindly face of anti-trans politics: defector.com/its-time-to-...

Apollo, from Latin a- (prefix: without, bereft of) and Spanish pollo (chicken)

CONCIERGE: welcome to the hotel california ME: if the hotel is air conditioned it should be called a coldel CONCIERGE: (to manager) are you sure he can never leave

an inspiration for us all. she got out.

I'm a bitch I'm a lover Six foot tall Maybe over I'm pretending I can vote I'm three kids in a coat

iiiit's a new cryptic crossword from me on @mycrossword.co.uk! A perfect lead-in to a long weekend, dare I say. "Goddess is in therapy (4)" "Rubbish country fails to start revolution (8)" "It can precede liquor pressed up on boiled water or drugs? (4)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3263

iiiit's a new cryptic crossword from me on @mycrossword.co.uk! A perfect lead-in to a long weekend, dare I say. "Goddess is in therapy (4)" "Rubbish country fails to start revolution (8)" "It can precede liquor pressed up on boiled water or drugs? (4)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3263

STILL waiting for my coffee. The barista's tie got stuck in the milk frother AGAIN.

(let's try this again with the right link) HELLO I wrote a cryptic crossword with a theatre/comedy theme! "Jim provides some make up (6)" "Acting exercises can be burdens (6)" "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof originally made extended West End run? (5)" thank u for ur time xox mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3232

No wait! This link this link this link! mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3232

A new cryptic from me on @mycrossword.co.uk, with a theatrel/comedy theme, to fully close the venn diagram of my interests: "Jim provides some make up (6)" "Acting exercises can be burdens (6)" "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof originally made extended West End run? (5)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/crosswords/5...

Saw your boyfriend in Hobbycraft

probably a pattern game or a deconstruction

Happy International Women's Day to the original International Woman

"if there was no capitalist motive nobody would work" Most popular genre on steam: Having a Normal Job Simulator

Just published a new cryptic crossword on @mycrossword.co.uk, themed for a friend's birthday: "ACME rope so unreliable — get out of it! (6,4)" "Tom Scott initially leads with side-splitting opening (5)" "Spooner's swimmer skipped conversation on the go (6)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3196

it's bandcamp friday this friday, and for the first time in a long time i have nothing in my cart. what's something great and indie that i should check out?

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

Another cute little cryptic up on @mycrossword.co.uk! Some personal faves: "Art deco library's housing culture (1,4)" "Illuminating way down from Machu Pichu? (12)" "Uptight Bake Off judge once picked up attractive man (7)" mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3138

Another cute little cryptic up on @mycrossword.co.uk! Some personal faves: "Art deco library's housing culture (1,4)" "Illuminating way down from Machu Pichu? (12)" "Uptight Bake Off judge once picked up attractive man (7)" mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3138

I know I’ve already warned you about the grizzlies cloning capabilities but it bears repeating.

Put a little cryptic for your weekend up on My Crossword! "Faint leek? (4,4)" "Reconcile band with their iconic look (4,3,4,2)" "A TV detective following twisty shock for cold case? (10)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3121

Another cryptic crossword of mine up on mycrosswords! Some favourites: "Hard to find how cricketers go bald (4,2,3,6)" "Huffing wolf brought about movement of air (9)" "Play the faithful's humiliation for Spooner (3,6,2,3,5)" www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3098

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

Some personal favourite clues include: "De-casually-ath? (2,7)" "Crack the Titanic or the Lusitania (but not both)? (3–5)" "Fond gentleman to caress lady's opening, formally (4,3,6,6)" (Now updated with minimal typos!)

hello, i have started posting cryptic crosswords on mycrossword, if you're into that sort of thing xoxo more soon! www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/3076

[wiping the gunpowder from my hands] now THAT is a high-quality petard! I feel sorry for whoever ends up getting hoist by that thing!

Whatever he had like 12 followers

I like to think I'd be good on The Traitors but if I was selected I would fuck it up before the blindfold came off. Claudia would squeeze me on the shoulder, I would immediately scream "I'M A TRAITOR I'M SORRY" and throw up right on the round table as a moody version of "Oops I Did It Again" plays

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

I feel obliged to share this masterpiece from my brother:

I finally figured it out