Imagine saying this with zero irony.

Broadly I believe that most anti immigration people care less about immigration than having the right to be cruel to them without consequence

Rest in peace to Jane Goodall, whose tireless advocacy for primates has brought us closer than ever to the Planet of the Apes becoming a terrifying reality

Fuckin yikes, man

Meanwhile at the Riyadh comedy festival

bro anyone else have thursday nostalgia. like remember when it was thursday last week. that was so dope... they dont do it like that anymore. take me back 😭

remember going to Walmart and the cashier would suck you off right at the register

Toowoomba. First thing I saw when I entered town was a ute with a sticker that said “if you can read this thank a teacher, if you can read this in English thank a soldier” which sums up the vibe

THE MEME IS REAL

optus [completely unprompted]: “…we killed some people” everyone: “what the fuck man?!” optus: “we’re sorry!” everyone: “you’re going to be careful not to let it happen again right?” optus: “ummm… maybe” 🤔

ahahaha two teams I can’t stand are off to the nrl grand final 😑

Donald Trump (poster)

that this company somehow still exists after having to pay out billions in compensation for manufacturing and selling asbestos building materials took me by surprise. the bad guys always win

smrt fašizmu

why is pete davidson on that saudi comedy lineup... bro they killed your dad 😭

just played Shower With Your Dad Simulator irl (my partner’s dog jumped in the river, got covered in mud and I had to clean him in the shower)

thinking of becoming a wog that hangs those little flag boxing gloves off their mirror

This is what I do when I think about the Confederacy's humiliation

CHOTINER: So your son is 14, is that right? IKARI: It's complex, Isaac. If— CHOTINER: And the “robot” he pilots, that’s actually the child of an alien you keep crucified in the basement, which is possessed by the spirit of his dead mother? IKARI: Look, let me answer the question. CHOTINER: Sure.

dear train stations, what is preventing you from looking like this?

the rapture is a hilarious idea that the american protestants made up in the mid 19th century as a way for chickenshit losers to spare themselves the miserable horrors they liked imagining for other people skipping suffering??? NOT VERY CATHOLIC TBH

i am not one for single purpose kitchen utensils but I do not understand how I lived life before acquiring a potato ricer

the worst person alive is also the funniest

well well well look who reactivated his instagram account after sex pest allegations

anybody got suggestions for a no nonsense podcast app that doesn’t suck? have used apple podcasts and spotify and they are both terrible

If history has taught us anything, Banning Jimmy Kimmel is just going to make a lot of people begin creating their own Jimmy Kimmels in their bathtubs.

imagine being the right hand man for satan himself and being the voice of reason

back in my day "remember me" meant the robert pattinson 9/11 movie

longing for the days when selecting “remember me” at the login page actually meant something

It's always a bit jarring when I'm birdwatching and I spot a bird with tiny binoculars staring right at me crossing "big nerd" off his list.

Hi guys, did you already know there are competitions for window tinting? With better commentators than most of the tennis matches I’ve watched on ESPN? (Low bar I know) Anyway if you need to procrastinate harder than you’ve ever procrastinated before, I got you

Incredible stuff here from the Nine papers to combine “I don’t have strong feelings but I accept the fact we have purchased these submarines” with “support”.

Sad to hear about Keir Starmer. Nothing happened to him, I’m just always sad to hear about him.

man toyota went so fucking hard with the 2nd gen century this was their flagship, literally-made-for-royalty luxury sedan on par with the rolls royce phantom… and they threw in a v12 engine in it that makes over 270hp stock just because they could we used to be a country…

Nick Fuentes trying to gin up a bunch of fake copyright strikes against his own video which was entitled "You Should Shoot Charlie Kirk in the Neck from About 220 Yards Away While He's Speaking at Utah Valley University"

we passed this point long ago. the Christchurch shooter murdered more than 50 people for the memes. if you don't realize that was part of the point for him you don't understand this stuff.

daily driving a car with racing suspension is all fun and games until you need to transport any other sentient beings in it and remember that your ride is the opposite of comfortable for passengers

it’s funny yet sad that corruption is such an endemic, almost structural, part of the balkan socio-political environment that politicians who’ve tried everything to stop public money from disappearing like water on sand are willing to try snake oil in the hopes that it might work

it’s funny yet sad that corruption is such an endemic, almost structural, part of the balkan socio-political environment that politicians who’ve tried everything to stop public money from disappearing like water on sand are willing to try snake oil in the hopes that it might work

What Charlie Kirk's Assassination Means For Sydney Property Prices

what a fucking way to find out magic is real

huh, this won’t be nothing

the day this ghoul sheds his mortal coil will be a blessed day

This is the future the left want

every letter between Trump and Epstein: TRUMP: hello Jeffrey, I love how good you are at human trafficking, and I love how we are both pedophiles together ;) lol EPSTEIN: thank you Donald, you are my best friend, and you are so good at being a pedophile. haha, what fun!