Infinitely confident the lettuce would host a better show too

Ancient Snapchat for the Boston homies today

Dude won’t stop judging me

Ok but given half the cabinet is running around too afraid to correct Trump on their shoe size it’s entirely possible they genuinely don’t know how boots work

Good LORD he’s good at this

Blissfully ignorant (complimentary)

The Outbursts of Everett True

They’re telling me a great empire will be destroyed if I attack Persia. Even the oracles who don’t like me very much, very nasty, they all said to me, “Sir, it’s one of the great empires, and it’ll be destroyed. And all because you attacked Persia.” That’s what they’re telling me.

Every day someone has to make me feel older.

The level of boiling rage I have at DeJoy & other folks eager to gut a CONSTITUTIONALLY OUTLINED public good - one of the best in the world until recently - could be harnessed to power a fusion reactor

We’re being run into the ground by the absolute saddest fucking grifting posers & I’m running out of drywall to punch in my apartment

So anyway happy St. Patrick’s day ☘️

ok well good news for anyone who isnt a consumer i guess

Some beautiful universal synchronicity to have “Motoring” by Martha & the Vandellas kick on the radio just as I pull into the Motor Vehicle Commission

We had this kid in Junior High who - if he asked a girl to dance and she said no - he’d insist he didn’t really wanna dance with her and was just checking to see if she was a jerk.

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

Nothing quite so satisfying as watching an absolute asshole get traffic karma’d two seconds later

Knowing myself I set a firm “one in one out” policy re: social media Joined Instagram? Quit Snapchat. Moved here? DEFINITELY stopped on Twitter

Treating your allies like garbage and then demanding they bail you out of the war you started doesn’t work? Who knew?

Never realize how much you rely on a watch until the battery dies

Government is for serious people, & the whole world is learning once more in real time why nuance, patience, & intelligence are IMPERATIVE Ham-handed impulsive bullying breeds only breeds violent chaos w/ consequences you no longer have the capacity to anticipate, let alone react to w/ any efficacy

Live your life that you don’t even catch a GRAZING shot from @dieworkwear.bsky.social

The administration is literally trading on the fear & violence they’ve fostered as a tool to enact fear & violence on others Utterly reprehensible

Happy March 15. Here is my favorite Ides of March meme:

War is peace and peace is gay.

The Michael Jordan of Going to the Hospital

Mask has been fully off for a while now but good god

I'm sorry ma'am, but your son perished on Kharg Island in a valiant effort to create Wii Bowling meme videos for the White House X account. In the face of danger, he was not cringe; he was based to his last breath. Please have this commemorative Epic Fury challenge coin. Yes that's Punisher, ma'am

Happy #PieDay! Dont forget to use a square tin - pie are NOT round. πr2

the ideal amount I would like to think about measles is zero and I resent that I had that once and no longer do

We can only solve problems in this country if it’s to stop people from licking something. Pranksters were licking ice cream pints at the supermarket and BAM we got safety seals 2 weeks later. Someone should lick healthcare

The other Iran war crisis: It’s threatening global food supplies Farmers worldwide, including in the US, rely on inputs that move through the Strait of Hormuz and are now waylaid. From our colleagues at the @grist.org:

every time I have to go back to X to find an old tweet

You know what I think would be really interesting? Bringing back oral presentations of papers and examinations. see what people actually know

Materializing nude from a bolt of lightning in 2005 to show my younger self this image

I can’t imagine why he keeps getting passed over for that Nobel Peace Prize.

The war is a mess and the immigration policy is a disaster but at least the economy is o— www.cnbc.com/amp/2026/03/...

Jesus Fucking Christ

"I got my PhD by writing prompts instead of doing research, I'm winning" got some bad news, there still no jobs and now you also know nothing

Great now I can’t stop thinking ‘bout it

Polymarket, Kalshi and all the rest of these prediction markets need to be wiped off the face of the earth. They provide absolutely nothing of value and are corrupting everything they touch.

Every time

this means it is not open for transit

As always, @dimension20.dropout.tv delivers m.youtube.com/watch?v=D0sR...

Maritime Intimate navigation 🤝 activity time Immediately regretting improper sounding equipment use