Well then in the spirit of OP let me add:

This was a favorite on Irish Twitter.

comin out of my cage and nope I'm goin back in

Detective: So they were fast as lightning and fought with expert timing. Anything else? Me: Did I mention that it was a little bit frighteni- Detective: Yeah, you said that

There’s been multiple signs at AEW shows slandering Paper Mario

Life advice

after a devastating streak of two World Cups without official songs by Shakira, we are so back

I’m sure he was evil in many ways but I deeply long for the days when billionaires were into baseball and pro wrestling and not publicly doing weird shit with their sperm

I’m slightly more of a dog person than a cat person but I deeply respect how dogs have all been bred to serve humanity in a bunch of specific ways and cats have been domesticated for 10,000 years and are still going “look I’m just gonna do cat stuff take it or leave it”

Official Bluesky greeter:

The irony is not lost on me that after years of telling me he doesn’t want to hear about my love of pro wrestling, my brother will not shut the fuck up about his homemade pizzas.

“Boarding group seven, all open bags of hot steaming garbage, you are now welcome to board the plane. “As a reminder, if you’re in boarding group 8… *spits on ground* Fuck you.”

oh my god, Gritty

Me: this is a pretty cool ring Gollum: my preciousssss Me: oh shit is that a Boondock Saints poster signed by both Boondock Saints? Gollum: my other precioussssss

During my doctor’s appointment yesterday, my doctor referenced “Make Em Say Uhh.” My doctor was a No Limit Soldier.

now that earth day is over today we celebrate wind and tomorrow fire

Even though Earth Day only comes once a year, Earth is on display here at Greenville Zoo every day and can be observed by looking down

Brock Lesnar retiring, I just saw Matt Riddle fall to his knees in a weed dispensary.

That Bron Breaker entire ramp spear @maffewgregg.bsky.social

George Kittle is gonna have to start worrying about liver damage if they cut to him again. #WrestleMania

Clarence Thomas ruled in favor of Citizens United. Harlan Crow's political contributions then went up 862%. Then we later find out Thomas let Crow take him on lavish trips, buy his mom's house, and help fund his wife's conservative nonprofit. But go on about how "progressivism" is a problem...

At my funeral, please serve high quality hot dogs. I can’t imagine many people will be sad that I’m gone so it’ll probably be the only thing that gets people there.

[sales manager at ACME the day after Wile E Coyote dies] Lois we have to sell the boat

“i asked chatGPT” well i asked my shoe

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

A+ headline. defector.com/president-ex...

MASSIVE fan of this one:

I appreciate the hesitation though

So great

Oooooh also this one

“No.” Kills me.

Reskeet with a tweet you still think about

the enemy of my enemy is.... the pope? wait that can't be right.

Being depressed should be a reason to be granted a Make-A-Wish. If Disney World can’t cure me, nothing will. I would also accept hospice care. Just smother me with a pillow my first night, I don’t care.

I used to think Tetris was a piece of shit. That is, until, they gave the line block a heaping helping of swag.