I'm gonna braid your pubes and your ass hair together then throw you by your handle

broke - Kamala Harris: “i will follow the law when it comes to transgender individuals” woke - Stephen Smith:

exquisite

My name is Chuck Shumer. I'm sending you this email from the El Salvador gulag alongside all of the Democrats from Congress. We need your help to win the midterms and turn this around, please donate whatever you can.

if I understand American politics correctly, progressivism is something that requires 60 senate votes to work, while national conservatism doesn’t require any votes at all

Liberals blaming leftists for what is happening now, despite the math not supporting that view, is based in their imperative need to feel smug. They know conservatives don't feel shame, so blaming them doesn't make libs cum. That's more important to them than the fact of how we got here

it's a very rough time to be a person with pattern recognition and a strong sense of justice

If "not my circus, not my monkeys" had a baby with "ma'am, this is a Wendy's".

Hi! Quick note: The Onion accidentally posted a stock photo from a vendor with an AI generated image in it. We pulled the post down once we found that out. Our commitment to not using AI is very real. It's in the union contract to disclose it if we ever do. World is a slop minefield and we're sorry.

Twitter moment.

nominally “liberal” mainstream media is now running cover for an out and about fascist. these are dark times we are living in and we truly cannot rely on these fascist sympathizers anymore

To those saying this has no impact on him -which is true- it has an impact on US. WE desperately need to see people with the courage to stand up to him & confront his cruelty directly, to his face. Courage is contagious. Brava, Bishop Budde. And thank you.

Pokémon RedNote and Pokémon Bluesky

bob hope understood something a lot of people still can't reconcile: apologizing is actually really easy and you can do it as much as you want

i take it all back, timothee

it feels good as fuck as a crab in a barrel to keep other crabs in the barrel. yoink get back down here fancy pants haha luv ya

John Carpenter says he stopped making movies because a 'Big Bug' told him to. 'Can't argue with a big bug' (Source: tinyurl.com/tcjatsbd)

I Photoshop Caillou into a movie every day until I lose interest: Day 118.

Every quote from a Trump voter is like “yeah he’s an evil person but he’s strong, damn if there was only a non evil person who also projected strength I’d definitely vote for them” and then the Democratic Party drops through the ceiling and says in a droopy dog voice “everybody has good ideas”

Whoa-oh thar she blows Watch out boats she'll chew you up Whoa-oh thar she blows She's Ahab eater

In Fallout 4 why was the Railroad so focused on Synths when Robobrains are fuckin everywhere

seems like rich guys just want to spend their money on stupid shit . if i was rich i would get my dad and all my uncles added to fort nite

it’s interesting that they’re trying to ban trans people from the military. from what i’ve heard they’re super soldiers who are too good at sports and athleticism

people love to do the "movies men miss the point of" thing about fight club and american psycho but I actually think there is something really genuinely appealing about their shared theme of doing violence to jared leto

What if it was called Beer and Loathing in Las Vegas and they went fishing and bitched about their families

What if she changed her name to Henry Kissinggirls and became a lesbian icon

I put one pierogie in with the potstickers so they'd bully him

Master Chief, mind telling me what you're doing day drunk on a Tuesday? Sir, finishing this fifth.

Trying to soup before it's cool and having my taste buds burnt so much I can't taste my soup when it's ready later like a Greek tragic figure being punished by the gods for my hubris

chauvin is stabbed & rittenhouse is broke? kissinger could do the funniest fucking thing right now…

You can't be talking like that Christian Baby

If you (an atheist) went skydiving with the testicles of a dead IDF soldier and the parachute would only open if you agreed to carry his baby to term and raise it in a religious household, would you convert?

Willy Wonka isn't British. That's fucked up. Look at him

Corn Dave

Nü Metal is fucking back baby! Kill it quickly before it can spread

Licking batteries until my tongue works like one of those prank handshake shockers

can you put a cw for self harm on this

weird when you say 'the state of israel should not be allowed to murder and decimate palestinians specifically in gaza' and someone interprets it as 'israeli people shouldn't be allowed to live anywhere'

Pokemon GO to the bathroom

The thing is you don’t actually need a plan to think it’s good not to vaporise thousands of children

borat as crocodile dundee “my knife”