imagine if they find luigi not guilty and he goes out and immediately kirks another one

yes, tell your friends you love them. more importantly, tell pictures of animals you see online you love them

My favorite tyrant joke: a man comes every day and peers at the front page of the newspaper without buying it. The newspaper vendor says, "what are you looking for?" "An obituary." "Obituaries aren't on the front page." "This one will be."

in an essay you lay out your premises and then you connect them to build up to a conclusion. in a video essay you lay out your "premises", perform superficial reactions to them as you mention them, act like you're building up to a conclusion, then cut the video off right as it's about to get good

i feel very lucky to live in the same era as some of the greatest distractions ever invented

as a kid i used to think that a phd meant you're smart but it turns out that's only true like 20% of the time

good read imo. of course the main points have been well established for some time but this piece is humanizing in a way that academic papers on bias really aren't

people can hate on em dashes and semicolons and rule-of-threes all they want. they're wrong though. the only real bad one is overusing ellipses. it's just... tedious

bluesky needs a captcha where you pick five actual riffs out of a grid of nine replies before you can interact with others

three wise men... don't see much of that nowadays

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

you nauseate me, mister grink

shit's crazy out there. it's mostly normal in here though.

I like games that give you tough choices

The people whose political compasses largely revolve around trying to kick people out of places are getting lonely?

this field biologist does a great job highlighting the insidiousness of AI editing these one-click AI edit buttons are incredibly appealing to many photographers, amateurs and professionals alike, and are framed as innocuous this is worth sharing and educating people about

using a card at a vending machine is so embarrassing “hi wells fargo. can i have a candy bar?”

what's going on when you tell someone "i haven't seen this movie yet but i bet it'll be good" and then they start asking extremely specific questions about the movie. like did you miss the part where i said i haven't seen it

I’ve been seeing this cover over and over and I just… In the original you’re aware of the horror of falling, but the body positions of the workers are solid on the beam. Here, most of them should be falling off, yet they don’t, because they live in an unreal, consequence-free space.

Get a heated toilet seat they said. It's the best thing ever they said. #FridayVibes 😼 #Caturday #CatsOfBluesky

Alrighty then.

Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

i refuse to be flattened

one of my friends who always daydreamed about starting a book club has recently switched to openly hating on the very concept of books. a development equal parts concerning and baffling

big day coming up. then a small one. after that they should be pretty medium sized for a while

hey man, hey! it’s me! we went to college together remember? they used to call me th- yeah, The Honorless Worm, that’s it, you remember. although i’m usually considered pretty honorable these days lol. how’ve you been?

TIL about a memorial ceremony in Iceland in 2019 to mark the end of a glacier, changing the place name from Okjökull to Ok (jökull = glacier). Uncompromising wording on the bronze plaque: "This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".

i don't mind scented stuff but lavender can fuck right off. whoever decided that should be the most common scent for things was out of their mind. wake up sheeple

Every 30 minutes I let out a long blood curdling shriek to keep my mind sharp

fuck it, for the people in the back: the jeff bezos owned washington post is the outlet responsible for making sure the primary complaint about AI was water. this may have been in part because jeff knew it was bullshit, so when amzn gets blowback they can easily prove their water footprint is small

the other week i watched being john malkovich (for the first time, yes, i know, don't start) and it was good but i gotta say it was eye-opening re: how i sound when i talk about my pet's emotional problems

satisfactory came out on xbox a few weeks ago and i'm already almost at 100 hours played. got nerd sniped real good

The biggest technological revolution of our lifetime is underway and it's not AI:

i've read a lot of rust code in the last five years, and i always thought of the language as powerful but tedious and boilerplate-y. but only recently have i started writing much rust code and folks holy shit. the developer tooling is way better than i ever imagined. it is so easy to write

truth coming out of her cup noodles to shame mankind

I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”

you know how there's that one rich guy who just keeps giving wes anderson money to make movies? why can't we get a rich guy who just really wants more x-files

SCULLY: It's impossible. There's no one on earth who could teach you to fit that many marshmallows in your mouth. MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...

Fuckin rocking out

*voight-kampff test proctor voice* it's 8 pm. there are meals you can make with what you have in your cupboards. there are meals you can make, but you're not making them. why?

Jesus to his disciples:

saw the bottom half of a clip from the oval office where all i could see was all that ridiculous new gold filigree, and my brain instantly parsed it as one of the absurd thrones from taskmaster

cloudflare's on-duty IT staff bangs on the doors which I have padlocked from the inside as I calmly break open lava lamp after lava lamp and drink the contents

when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare

i always know what my cat is gonna say before she even starts talking