Lol I’m in bed by 9

Empire collapse under the weight of metaphors.

New James Webb Space Telescope observations show China's Asteroid Probe target - Kamo'oalewa - Is only about 18 metres wide, not 40 to 100 metres as once thought. Its surface matches a rare type of asteroid, rather than lunar rock, making it less likely to be a chunk blasted off the Moon.

Death to America but still go hang out with your friends today and enjoy the fireworks.

When my boyfriend orders for me in Mandarin at the authentic Chinese food restaurant

first ethical millionaire

Sam says

When my boyfriend orders for me in Mandarin at the authentic Chinese food restaurant

Me, a wizard: Where hast my scrying orb gone? I cannot seem to find it anywhere in the tower... perhaps this is a cruel trick from my dark warlock rival! My Capricious and Gluttonous Familiar:

wild that this man is almost 60 years old

Fuck. If it happens when I can’t drink.

Not drinking Saturday at the big gay pool party is going to suck

❤️ 🍕

One thing about him is I don't think he buys his own bullshit nearly as much as people think. The increasingly shrill protestations about the popularity of his ventures, the AI generated slop. This is a guy who knows he sucks and is increasingly unable to silence the inner voice telling him so

I’m sorry Evan Mulrooney I was not familiar with your game

If there is a god, and xe has a sense of humor, it’ll happen tomorrow.

the twink blood transfusions are not working apparently

Sure, the minions didn't work for Hitler, but you know who they DID work for?

amazing

Already seeing preemptive arguments for not supporting an Arab against Rogers

It’s that time of the month. Wanta help me buy some groceries?

Any guesses as to how this could have happened?

Not drinking Saturday at the big gay pool party is going to suck

It's once again time for me to extol the virtues of the "Laura Palmer," a refreshing blend of lemonade and cold brew coffee. In all my travels I have yet to find a better beverage for a hot summer morning. It's also the best method I have personally found for accidentally consuming 400mg of caffeine

Oh good, Mitch McConnell’s ride is here.

Are we sure that doing a voluntary mass sacrifice on a major anniversary isn't some sort of ritual to resurrect a dead god

"what if we just used 40 times the normal amount of fireworks?" is so fucking funny, man.

everyone is 12 and i am going to have an aneurysm

Hong doesn’t hate Jews because she got interviewed by a twitch streamer but it’s true that this is probably the least antisemitic the world will be in our lifetimes going forward thanks to a genocide that was systemically enabled by our nation’s elite to no benefit other than their outdated beliefs.

Oh good, Mitch McConnell’s ride is here.

tgif

retroactive gm

It’s my Friday