alexa, play "back to black" by amy winehouse.

just another feral Sunday.

"my d!ck hurts" (Croatia)

"oh you work in a company that sells healthy food, you must eat healthy too, do you have any recipe?" honey, the only things that I buy in our store are chocolates and energy drinks. you got the wrong one.

workout is done, now back to my unhealthy lifestyle.

when I grow up, I want to be a financially and mentally stable person.

Therapist: “Do you think you might be attracted to chaos?” Me: “Only if it’s tall and texts back inconsistently.”

no amount of holy water can help my haunted soul.

day so far: > woke up with big headache > ate > threw up > ate > iced coffee

"girl, you eat chocolate every day" yeah, for YOUR safety.

I'm kind of like if oops wrong hole was a person

Some personal news, I am going to eat ice cream for dinner.

I just kicked bread off of my plate with my boobs. 💀

I love to giggle. heheing and also hahaing

you increase uptime i increase bedtime we are not the same

when i grow up, i want to be able to sleep past 8 am

I’m not trapped here, I made this prison.

the scenes I have on my mind about the dude I have a crush on, just call exorcist at this point.

A psychic told me my aura looks like a chalk outline.

I miss the good old days when I'd just post random nonsense that came up on my mind because there is literally 0 thoughts on my mind. am I going sane?

a golden girls tv/movie crossover: thread

the amount of pissed I feel right now because my best friend told me yesterday that today we're going out with our other friend, so I cancelled family party I had, FOR HER JUST TO TELL ME NOW that we're not going because her other friends called her to go out tonight...

if you ever feel sad, just take a warm shower.

where are my girlies that believe in repeating numbers and words because for like a week now, I've been seeing "Netherlands" EVERYWHERE around me.

The only thing cooler than me in here is my fridge.

my biggest milestone for 2025 so far was reaching 1.2k on my TikTok, it sounds silly, but it really gave me a boost.

whoever voted yes uh duh of course as always picked the right answers. congratulations, here are some milk and cookies. 🥛🍪

unpopular opinion: humans should be able to hibernate just like bears.

good morning, sweet peas.

btw she's fine 😂 this is probably the least lethal thing she's ever eaten her worst include: -half a box of mucinex pm -three gabapentin's -a deep fried burrito the size of her -an entire large pack of reese's cups -one xl butterfinger -an entire bag of CBD cat treats 🤠

having a dream that Melanis Ťřúmp is my mother wasn't on my bingo card for this year. 💀💀💀

since it is the spooky season here are reasons why I think my house might be haunted:

the bible is wrong. jesus escaped from a lab

do you look beautiful today? 1️⃣ yes 2️⃣ uh duh 3️⃣ of course 4️⃣ as always 📊 Show results

nothing pisses me off more than when my father asks me "what are you waiting for, you'll almost be 30." as if my life ends at 30. mind your damn business.

I think we need to go back to thinking inside the box.

me dating older people? yes, 10/10, no problem. me dating someone younger than me? scary.

take what you need 1️⃣ iced coffee 2️⃣ a hug 3️⃣ Jesus 4️⃣ comfy socks 📊 Show results

if someone 10 years ago told me I'd have smoothie for breakfast, I'd insult them to the max. anyways, good morning. *slurps on my smoothie*

my body is a temple — a temple that’s been destroyed by early Christians around 391 AD

Not to brag but I got a full 8 hours of over-thinking

no one loves me more than me

what do you mean you actually love your job and you don't daydream for 8 hours just to stay mentally sane?

spill the tea, I'll pour us some whiskey.