Finally, a worthy sequel to "Baby shoes" in the 6-word story genre.

Henry *and* Sir Trevor Brooking both celebrating birthdays. What a blessed day.

I know Bill Wells is talking about Glasgow, but when he sings, "This city's all I'll ever need," I completely get it.

Day off work, the sky is blue, I'm on a solo yolo to a fancy massage and the Picasso exhibition at Tate Modern *and* I got the driver's seat on the bus. #smugcudby

Drivers of Essex, if you are not travelling any faster than the traffic in the slow lane, there is no need for you not to be in the slow lane yourself. The fast lane is not macho if you trundle.

In the past, if you wanted to work illegally in the UK, you didn't need a passport, ID, National Insurance number, visa, or any other documents. In the future, thanks to a new government initiative, if you want to work illegally in the UK all you won't need is a compulsory digital ID Britcard.

Following the release of two albums last month, Automatic and Stick, @mrjimbob.bsky.social isn't resting on his laurels as he posts a new track Not Your President Not My King inspired by the recent Windsor Castle Trump Banquet... www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKC_...

Maybe she’s born with it Maybe it’s Tylenol

Made an impromptu lunchtime jaunt to the Right to Protest exhibition at 10 Greatorex St before it finishes on Friday. Brilliant.

Anti-autism campaigner, Karen Hoyland, 40, commented: “I love my child but I hate his autism. The other day I came home to find him lining up his guns, instead of playing with them like a normal kid.”

@barneyronay.bsky.social Hi Barney. This is the 2nd time in 2 years that a non-league player has received a life-changing injury from a head collision with a perimeter wall, because the FA can't be bothered to update ground regs. Fancy taking up the story? www.thesun.co.uk/sport/368025...

Still can't see this fixture without mentally adding "Brooking" in the middle.

Netanyahu: ‘These So-Called Genocide Experts Have Probably Never Committed A Genocide In Their Lives’

First game of the season for the boy. Hopes high after we managed to hit the post during our final pre-season friendly last week. We lost that game 9-0 but you have to take the positives.

A story in three parts.

Swim in the lido and breakfast from Bunhead. It blows my mind that some people choose not to live in Southeast London.

To be honest, if I'd spent years insisting that a capital city was a no-go area for people like me as there were too many 'other sorts' who'd attack us, I wouldn't organise a mass public gathering of people like me in that exact city, because it would reveal I'd been talking bollocks the whole time

It's not often I get to be proud of anything West Ham have done, on or off the pitch, so let me enjoy this rare opportunity.

Meeting cancelled so I am heading to the lido. It is not currently raining in London. Obviously I can say with 100% certainty that will remain true for the next hour.

What other rebrands would you like to see? Aviva rebranding as Norwich Union, Santander as Abbey National, HSBC as The Midland Bank and the Reform Party as The National Front.

That alert crashed the payment machines at Dulwich Hamlet, and shut the outside bar. Is there anything this government won't ruin?

I just typed "I can" and autocomplete changed it to "I can't". I'm not sure AI is ready for the responsibility we are rushing to give it.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. This weekend's games are dedicated to the memory of supporter Helena McLean who sadly passed away at the end of 2024. You can find features in our programmes and our players warming up in special CCLG t-shirts and much more.

Amazing how shocked and offended Ed Balls is by the suggestion that Labour should have any ambition beyond being less shit than the Tories.

Even the milk is flagshagging now.

You know what, fair play to Scooby Doo villains. They walk into a room dressed as a ghost, see a talking dog on its hind legs making the world’s biggest sandwich and somehow manage to stay in character.

🇺🇸 Staggering partisan divide 🇺🇸 76% of Republicans say they’re satisfied with the direction of the US; less than 1% of Democrats feel the same Gallup calls it the widest gap ever recorded on this question. Astonishing polarisation 👇

A Saturday afternoon in Ikea, only made bearable by introducing my 15-year-old to Ikea cricket. You score a run every time you locate an item you want, but lose a wicket every time you see a family arguing. A respectable 18 for 3 today.

I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂

Only signing players who got relegated last season seems an odd tactic, but I am sure there is some genius behind it...

Nominative determinism.

"Are asylum seekers the biggest political issue in Britain?" Asks radio 4. "We interview man who is determined to make it the biggest issue in Britain. And make it a headline every morning until it definitely is"

Children in Gaza play with a parachute from airdropped aid amid Israel’s ongoing genocide of Palestinians and forced starvation in the besieged enclave.

The same people who love to complain about vegans *having* to tell you they're vegan can't wait to wang on about their airfryers.

A terrible business idea. Herrings don't even have feet.

The posh version of "clever Dick"

George called Dave who called his mate Johnny who owns the manor then George called Robert and Chris to come for drinks and Nigel for breakfast! All united by their determination to bring down the elites!

Prescription sunglasses are great but, when I go indoors, because I have to keep them on to see, I worry everyone thinks I'm trying to be Bono.

Mo Salah is asking the right questions

Nothing can go wrong from here...

Curious use of "now".

So this allotment story is absolutely blowing up everywhere and the government will prob U-turn soon due to UNEXPECTED VIRALITY IN THE BAGGING AREA. But because I'm a sad git I spent 5mins chasing the aggregated Nottinghamshire Live story back through the Telegraph and the Express and found....

Larrikins have meddled with the bottom of a local roadsign. I'm not sure where is 23 miles in that direction. It could be Rotterdam, or Anywhere.

I don't mean to brag, but this morning I got a member of staff to help me in Sports Direct.

“Frappe frappe” “Qui est lá?” “J’adore…” “J’adore qui?” “J’adore qui not working?”

What does Doctor Who have with his pizza? Dalek bread.

At the dentist this morning having a crown fitted. As the chair reclined, 'Flashdance' came on the radio. Obviously I can't resist, so I spurt out, "What a filling!" The dentist's laughter was as generous as it was insincere.

Today, 84 years to the day since HMS Umpire sank, my dad got to unveil the memorial he has been fundraising for, in a churchyard overlooking the patch of sea where it happened.

Did Chloe Kelly just pull a Daniel Larusso?