Wait what?! There isn't already a biopic about William Stone? Crazy, but true. If you're at @machcomedyfest.bsky.social this weekend come see why there should be at 12pm on Saturday. machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Is there a German word for the disappointment you feel when you've psyched yourself up for an argument with someone who's sat in your reserved seat on a train but when you get there it's unoccupied?

Doing a one-off show during the Brighton Fringe next month, which I've appropriately decided to do in Brighton.

When I get to 1M followers I will release this free winamp skin

I have many strange peccadillos. I try my best to hide them as my landlord doesn't allow pets

My first pro writing job was for Buzzfeed. You won’t believe what I did next

I have many strange peccadillos. I try my best to hide them as my landlord doesn't allow pets

Heard your dad is voting reform cos he was eating a fillet-o -fsh and "found a massive chunk of halal in it"

Tonight’s gig in the historic city of London

LEEDS tonight and then MANCHESTER, LONDON (last few tickets left), COLCHESTER & CAMBRIDGE. Come along! It would be nice to sell out the London shows, because then I'd get more money for the same amount of effort. www.mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

Is there a part of the ADHD test where they ask if you ever sit down to work on a show you’re doing in 3 weeks and instead spend 20mins photoshopping watermarks out of a photo of Daniel Beddingfield for a facebook post claiming its a pic from your first gig because “it reads more real” without them?

This August I'll be doing my first proper Fringe run in seven years. My show is called Backchannel. justified by suffering, refined through effort and perfected by accident. the show is about trust. and if you break mine ill break your head in half i swear to god www.seanmorl.com/fringe26

Just nipping to strait of Hormuz anyone need owt?

Yesterday, but its a film about what it would be like if the film Yesterday was never made.

Finally went to see Waiting For Godot. Expected a longer queue.

Still can't believe this but last weekend in IKEA I bumped Into Jurgen Klopp! Even for them that's a weird name for a bookcase

Spotted some of my design work in the wild

Pronouncing Gideon like Pigeon

Tough choice, I know, but I don’t make the rules machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/wi...

Thought I just saw John Carpenter in Brighton Jubilee Library, which to be fair to me, is the kind of thing he would do.

Tough choice, I know, but I don’t make the rules machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/wi...

Guy who did an open mic once five years ago explains comedy

The man : follow the rules Me : 😎

Guy who did an open mic once five years ago explains comedy

Will Smith doesn't have to cuss on his bluesky to sell tickets but I do so flip him and flip you too

Ah yes, Facsimiles, the greek God of twins.

Just remembered that really funny Jonathan Pie video when he's playing a news anchor and he's talking to the camera but then sort of gets angry and says what he really thinks 🤣

Short poem The Nightmare. Joe stood there in Asda, desperately trying to cover himself up. It was too late, they all pointed and laughed, they could see he was fully clothed. Joe jolted awake. Drenched in sweat."Just a dream" he sighed, settling back into his sleeping bag at the nudist camp.

Showing off my new hair cut but I've got a hat on (prank)

First time at Westerham comedy club tonight with this lovely lot

People who grew up in Brighton when they first visit another beach

People who grew up in Brighton when they first visit another beach

My biggest regret is giving a handy to a security guard to get back stage to meet Crazy Frog.

It’s funny how people say “hair brained scheme” as if there’s something inherently wrong with having a hairy brain.

Bibbidy bobbity, and I cannot stress this enough, boo.

I remember lockdown feeling a lot like groundhog day. Could not get Andy McDowell to sleep with me

Ah yes, Facsimiles, the greek God of twins.

People say there's not enough kindness online but in my experience a lot of people take the time to explain my jokes to me

Standup comedy was never the end goal for me, they just make you do it for a few years before they’ll let you make a travel documentary with your dad.

Self image is all about perspective. Has Daniel Beddingfield let himself go? No, Michael Moore’s had a glow up

I’ve had to keep this under wraps for a while but I can finally announce I am one of the staff writers for the Argus.

It’s actually FEWER Misérables

People come at you with useless facts like “A swan can break your arm”. They could have spared me a lot of time and money if they’d also said “A swan can break your heart” :(

You’ve been eating bananas wrong your whole life. They’re disgusting, don’t eat them.

This is how the war will be won

You can always tell a millennial because we still use a Nokia 3310. As a chopping board.

The thing I find hardest about comedy is finding promoters who are happy for me to work from home

Deliberately spilling coffee and tea all over my screen so my emails look all ‘ye olde’.

No way AI is taking my job as a stand up. Can you imagine a robot standing stock still talking absolute shite?

People slag off bots but they make up over 60% of my 30 followers.