Fell asleep reading my phone but woke when it dropped onto my face.

Just saw a post with George Clinton citing the Beatles as his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me

I’ve worked at the Southbank Centre for over 8 years now. In that time I’ve become desensitised to mad conversations that wouldn’t happen anywhere else. But in my first few years I noted down ‘overhead’ snippets that would be ridiculous in any other setting. I’ve just found those notes. Strap in.

Second time in 3 days I’m posting this Vonnegut quote wrt AI.

you wouldn’t need to put on such a spectacular half time show if the sport wasn’t shit

"I wouldn't buy green bananas if I were you" is going to live in my brain for years

Can’t wait to see the Super Bowl half time entertainment.

can you explain all these gaps on your cv yes that's to show where one word ends and the next one begins

I'm no political strategist but has anyone in Labour considered *not* alienating any huge chunk of their base? I just feel like they tried alienating the left and the centre left and the public sector workers and the academics, and none of those things worked great, so maybe give my idea a whirl?

I like the govt's plan to ban smartphones and social media in schools but nobody's mentioned the glaring hole in it

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

Seen on Mastodon. This is by Dutch cartoonist Tjeerd Royaards.

4 years ago we got this little terror #dogs

Re the Winter Olympics...

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKIN ‘ELL

You tell me.

My mate just went into his bedroom for something and felt something at his feet.

I'm no criminal mastermind but, if I wanted to shoplift something and then slip quietly into the crowd without detection, I probably wouldn't pick '29 things with bells on' www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Somehow, despite stories of many Ref*rm councils of pledges being broken (such as council tax rises), amenities and support cuts, yet wasting tons of cash on their own parking spaces or whatever, those dicks are still getting loads of votes. How is the leopard voting thing still happening 🤦‍♀️

Saying "with the greatest respect" but meaning "I am about to tell you that you are a massive cunt".

Snowing today in Chicago

May have to trebuchet myself today.

I'm jaded at this point, as governing well would be good, but not enough if headlines designed to stick in the mind constantly pepper public opinion - even when unfounded. It's a psych ops game and social media has compounded it into a shit show of being about wins not good governance.

Another comic I never bothered posting This one from 2023. Topical galileo humour apropos of precisely nothing at all

I've been joking with colleagues about using a trebuchet to fling people who piss us off. It's now a thing. People who steam into a lift before others have got out - trebuchet It's an ever expanding list tbh, but satisfying. Especially if you imagine them being launched. Kerchunk, Aaaaaaaaahhh

That‘s the spirit.

Staggering numbers on this, all I can say is visit your museums and galleries. They're great.

Hey mister, can I pet your 2000 year old Chinese chimera please?

Just your standard 3000 year old Chinese wine container. (Seen at Art Institute of Chicago)

Quite the arsenal.

Sadly, this is NOT satire.

So many men named in the Epstein files say "I was only emailing him for financial advice, something I now hugely regret of course" and then the email is "hi j-dawg, loved partying with you and the naughty little girls this weekend, same again soon, bestie?" and Epstein replying "me am sayy yse . !1"

you can literally travel to Mongolia, take a taxi from Ulaanbaatar to Choirin, find the last house in the outskirt, and ask Munkhbat who's about fifty or eighty, no one knows for sure, he spent his entire life drinking and throwing rocks at passing cars, he would say "Peter Mandelson? He's a c*nt."

They should release the Epstein Files as a Hachette partworks series. First issue £1.99, and each subsequent weekly issue £7.99, and each magazine comes with a piece of a kit to make your own Guillotine.

"We have identified the leader of Antifa"

We have gone from New York's Grand Central Terminal to Chicago. It might look like we are in a gothic cathedral, but it is actually cathedral hall, on the 9th floor of a skyscraper at the University Club of Chicago. #squash

I'm watching Skyscraper Live, but obviously not live as it was a few days ago, and it is still giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Of COURSE Brexit is in the epstein files

Good god. We've spent a decade with the British media - including the BBC - claiming that the 'gender critical' movement wanted to 'protect women and girls'. And it turns out Jeffrey Epstein was funding part of it.

On Les Dawson’s 95th birthday:

My Wife: *shouting down from upstairs* I ken yer pished, but just dinnae eat the bread rolls on the kitchen counter. They’re for tomorrow and are the sort you have to put in the oven first. Me: