Mummy is on the radio! 🥰

I think I’d like a little Italian greyhound called Limoncello. As a little companion for the enormous lad here. He could take his new friend on adventures in the garden. “Come on little Limoncello, let’s look for squirrels and do a a massive poo next to the shed”

Imagine having millions of monies and still not having enough to say no.

The 'Riyadh Comedy Festival' reminds me of the story of Freddie Starr performing in the Middle East, under instruction not to swear or refer directly to Prince Hussein. He came on and said 'Which one of you fuckers is Prince Hussein?' and the curtain immediately came down.

These scumbags like to whine that they’re not allowed to say anything these days but remarkably are still able to do so whereas Jamal Khashoggi was murdered & dismembered by agents of the Saudi government at the behest of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman for criticising his regime. Fuck them.

Sixteen thousand views in half a day by a model railway creator who hasn’t uploaded for over a year and has been starting a new job and fixing a house instead of updating a model railway. I bloody love his videos 🥰

The 🇬🇧 British television private eye thriller series "MAN IN A SUITCASE" created by Richard Harris and Dennis Spooner, starring Richard Bradford originally aired in the U.K. #OnThisDay in 1967 on the ITV network 📺 ITC Entertainment 🎬 Pinewood Studios 🎶 Ron Grainer 🎹

We (Gods own Nottingham Forest) were accidentally quite good for about 20 games last year and it was an intoxicating taste of success. This being a bit shit lark again is annoying yet comfortably familiar. On the plus side we’re not blowing a lead…

the Command & Conquer series is 30 years old today we so have an excuse to share this iconic moment with Tim Curry

Been denied the cool unicorn sparkle hologram bathroom tiles. Imagine having a poo in a room like that, how jolly. Little bit of cheeriness. Obvs can’t afford more than 2m square tho.

Sure, your dog is spoiled, but is it heated blanket spoiled?

The PS2 2001 Holiday line-up was actually incredible, and even more so when you realize how beloved some of these games are now.

In the gym this morning the TV was showing Nick Park on BBC breakfast with the Wallace and Gromit models, and I was pissing myself remembering the Fast Show sketch 😂 youtu.be/f19hF7-nT8g?...

Mrs Jones has been given a hire car. It’s got more lights than Blackpool. Like bing in a flamingo themed tie fighter.

Can I propose Man in a Suitcase? Sounds like someone happily chucking a band down a flight of stairs and I like that.

Sad act update, bought my third copy of GTA San Andreas for the PS2… specifically because the paper map was immaculate and my existing one has a scuff and a single small tear. We don’t even get Tylenol here.

“I think some people just come into the office on quiet days, like Friday, to have the sort of ungodly poo they’d be ashamed to do at home where they have a partner and kids. Just used trap 3, horrific scenes in there, perpetrated by a previous occupant, real gastric distress has taken place”

<adopts work Teams voice> “Nothing from me thanks”

TFW you have D&V* (I couldn’t spell it, couldn’t be bothered to look it up, just be pictures of that poor cunt off of the Pepto Bismol ad)

Today’s uplifting over produced slightly country pop Drag Queen bop listening is: Malibu by Trixie Mattel youtu.be/I4uaTTv9w1k?...

Post a happy TV theme that you like. www.youtube.com/watch?v=brtc...

Can I link it to my nectar points?

On the bastard train again.

What's the best song you heard on the radio today? For me it was this youtu.be/4uQJaUtH8FA?...

Still, well done for coming up with another red line means of division argument that will upset groups of people who haven’t managed to fallout with each other on previous red line means of division I guess.

The existence of government mandated identification documentation implies the scenario where a person will be asked to show their government mandated identification document… possibly accompanied by the phrase “your papers please”

Who's betting the same dimwits that were against wearing masks and quarantining are totally fine with mandatory ID?

mclovin.jpeg

This IS Tonty Blair’s fault.

“You need SLAPPIN’ dahn, Blofeld!”

had the urge to do this since the moment i saw this post! #pixelart

It’s been my lifelong dream for several minutes now to play a Columbo point and click game.

The new “young” James Bind should be played by ALL the different lads who have played Ben Mitchell in Eastenders. Changing them at random throughout scenes with no explanation, really fuck with continuity.

The transfer fee we get for Elliot Anderson should be fucking enormous. Best player we have had in decades.

Plugs? You can walk most places. Roast dinners. When people come here & get weirdly into it, like Michelle Visage is ours now. Proper old football grounds. Irn Bru. Still use the word trousers. M&S underwear. TV soaps specifically designed to be miserable to make you feel better about your life.

Respect to whoever put this sticker on a post box in Baker Street.

Absolute banger. Also, absolutely, never sounded like Eddie Murphy or a thing Eddie Murphy might do. So when I first heard it, only 25 odd years ago, I (absolutely) wasn’t having it that it was the same guy from Beverly Hills Cop. 71 characters left to use so might say absolutely again: absolutely

MAYOR: Did you do that sculpture solemnly honouring our civil war dead SCULPTOR: Sure thing boss, real sexy just like you asked MAYOR: What

Settling down for the weekly treat of ‘Margo Leadbetter: Style Icon’. #bbcfour

The problem with the Arena season is that to my cynical brain it’s saying “look at all the great programmes we used to make”

Balls to this: I’m switching over to BBC Four for Arena Night.

I'm so glad someone made this

The TV ad for the Google Pixel 10 says 'If your friend asks you a question, and the answer is on your phone, shouldn't your phone be able to answer them?' NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

My face when I see a newsagent has Scampi Fries

Alt text: The Hitcher from the Mighty Boosh (Noel Fielding painted green with a top hat and big polo eye) plays a standing piano in a cockney style, he sings about eels: “Eels, up inside ya, finding an entrance where they can” As Joseph Conrad may have opined, “the horror, the horror”.

Gosh, Inventory Management Simulator 4 is fun. Sorry, Borderlands 4… it’s just more of that thing I like.

Might have to dig out The Big Coat (tm)

Man City are clearly one of the best club sides in the world. No disrespect intended towards Abdukodir Khusanov (arguably the best Uzbek footballer since Maksim Shatskikh), but is an out of position child, for whom they paid £35m+ not an unusual choice at right back? Fair play to him. Just odd.