Sick of the relentless adult content I see on Bluesky: back pain, interest rates, tax brackets, that noise you make when you stand-up sometimes.

IT IS 743,638 AD. The colony on Sirara 2 is now fully established. Residents say they love the excellent schools and the kid-friendly parks, but could do without the patches of distorted space-time that can age a person 30 years in a second.

Dang. 💀

mods are busy shadowbanning nsfw accounts, time to post rare worfs

can't sleep my toes itch

they should make a jackie chan game like the new bond one where you're just having slapstick fights. there should be a button to yell "sorry!" or "i don't want any trouble!" while you're smashing someone's skull with a mop

Last time I came over your weird brother started pulsating at an unsettling frequency

"Jeb!" is the weirdest insult and it feels lowkey anti-American tbh

THE YEAR IS 29,677. An internet poll votes to dub a newly-discovered supervolcano "Druski." The joke ages poorly after Druski erupts, killing 20 billion people.

THE YEAR IS 29,401. Adam Driver announces he is leaving Alysa Liu for Roseanne Barr. Steven Seagal tweets Salt Bae memes about ballmaxxing.

So tired of blacking out every full moon when I really want to stay up and help the townsfolk hunt for the werewolf

I have sustained a vape-related injury, bro.

The sleep of reason produces monsters, bro.

The wise man thirsts only for knowledge, bro.

China Miéville wrote Perdido Street Station as a cautionary warning to the many scientists he saw carelessly raising moth larvae

My new apocalypse bunker doesn't have a gym?? Where am I supposed to do my Peloton workouts???

Space station security chief here. If we were mining the asteroid too greedily I’d expect the psychosis to be spreading a leeettle bit further than the lower decks

Building those giant data centers isn’t a waste. After the AI bubble pops we’ll need them to create an MMORPG set in the Who Framed Roger Rabbit universe. It’ll take that much compute to simulate the fedora physics. Toontown requires a server farm the size of Kansas

This article is just one weird, unfathomable sentence after another www.thebulwark.com/p/a-truly-mi...

Guys with suction cups on their fingers are always talking underwater style gibberish like "blublub blub blub graaaawh"... ok bro first of all you lay eggs.

PRINCESS IRULAN: Know then, that it is the year 10191. The known universe is ruled by the Padisha Emperor Shaddam IV, my father. In this time, the most precious substance in the Universe is the spice melange. HOWARD STERN: Wow.

Ok this is a truly great tweet

Guns don't kill people, dogs with shotguns kill people. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Prodigal cat has come home

Cat has "run away" into a heavily wooded strip and is refusing to come back out. 😿

In fairness to RFK jr, his skin is too leathery for snake bites to penetrate it.

The next war is gonna be glasses-wearers versus contact lense-wearers. The optonormative will not participate.

Of course I know Wario is evil but I always pick him because I’m able to separate the kart from the kartist

Work-shopping some new catchy personal slogans. How do we feel about "I put the FUN in funicular"?

Wow I'm finally living thru a real sci-fi story and it turns out its Dune!

3627. THE FUTURE. The President is forced to step down due to a scandal involving a dominatrix, a video tape, and an exotic dancer from Arcturus Major.

Why am I such a sucker for pixel art games? Well-done ones at least. I know other, worthwhile art styles exist! But nothing gets me salivating like a game with some pretty pixel art.

Remember everyone, it's Memorial Day not MEME-orial Day

It's so all the medical staff there can marvel at his amazing health! It's like a little treat for the doctors.

the gun shots outside the white house once again show the need for donald trumps 30 foot tall mechanical spider that he can ride around on and that shoots nanowire webbing and has a turret gun

Bad news: my flight has been attacked by an orca.

GUY ON THE STREET: please sir can you spare a twenty? I lost everything because of bad investments in swedish car companies. ME: Oh great, not another saab story

Well, I just wasted a LOT of time chasing waterfalls. Wish somebody had told me before that this was not a worthwhile pursuit.

Any time the Pope gets on a plane, that plane immediately becomes Pope Force One.

Today I found out that on the island of Saba there is a dormant volcano that they have named Mount Scenery and honestly I can't decide if that is lazy or genius

I'm begging for monarchists to add an ounce of hamster suffrage to their politics.

As a science fiction writer I really fucking resent tech bros for ruining the phrase "artificial intelligence." 80 years of it being all about cool androids and interesting computers destroyed by five years of "Spicy autocorrect making everything shittier for money." NEVER FORGIVE.

Wake me up, before you Grogu

This week, you may have heard about fabricated, AI-generated quotes appearing in a book covering AI's reality-skewing effects. I talked to the author, and what came out is, I think, a fascinating look at how people justify their own continued of these imperfect tools arstechnica.com/ai/2026/05/a...