Thanks for all your lovely reactions and comments. It’s so appreciated. I have seen a reaction story in a certain newspaper. For the avoidance of doubt, I explicitly requested that they were banned from the press round table I did, and they were. I assume they have lifted the quotes from elsewhere.

Some news. My freelance life is over. I'm going to be a Data Visuals Journalist in sport for The Guardian. Starting next month. From a hobby to a job to a national newspaper. It's been a journey. And it's only just starting.

Freddie Woodman in 2066

I had some people round for dinner last night, and I tried to impress them with a sauce created from vodka, gravy and nitrous oxide. But all I've done is make myself an absolut laughing stock.

🚨GOAL🚨 Senegal 0-1 Morocco o.g. 90+58 (days)

Andrew is eighth in line to the throne, but that’s prison toilets for you!

5 players aged 31 or older in Liverpool's starting XI tonight - Alisson, Robertson, Salah, Endo, van Dijk. That's Liverpool's most in a league game since November 1953 v Arsenal (also 5 - Jones, Liddell, Paisley, Spicer, Lambert). #LFC

Calm it cat. You're not Alan Rickman at the end of Die Hard.

Fellas dressed as Ali G at #thedarts in 2025 is weird. It's like going out on Millennium Eve dressed as Rigsby

podcasts

Sport FACT: Tennis star Coco Gauff’s full name is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio Coco Gauff.

Wowsers. It’s fun watching football when you don’t really care what happens!

Mo Salah completed more dribbles (5) vs Aston Villa than *the rest of his 25/26 season combined*. 5 more vs Real tonight, so 10 in 2 games matching the total from his previous 20 (twenty) #LFC appearances

Regulars will know that we publish a statspack for each game. Using the Monte Carlo for each match we can create an xPoints model. When you look at the 9 games in totality you can see the absolutely wild journey #lfc have taken to end up exactly where we deserve to be based on our performances

Pulp have been nominated for the Mercury Prize four times. The second time, when they won for Different Class, Norma Waterson was also nominated. The third time, Norma's daughter Eliza Carthy was nominated. The fourth time, Eliza's dad, Norma's husband, Martin Carthy was nominated.

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

Why do we call it gaming addiction and not consoling ourselves

A thread of inspirational quotes from two of my idols: Kemi Badenoch and Ange Postecoglou (uh-oh, I may have gotten some mixed up... or have I??) 🧵

Would quite like Mo to stop kicking it into defenders’ legs for a bit

You start well in the game, and then several bad individual decisions within the space of 30 seconds and you’re behind. We’re not being outplayed here; far from it. But it’s hard to see us coming back and that’s not a pleasant feeling

The Reds were superb second half, there. Poor touches from Mo aside, we used the space and ball really well once they’d run themselves into the ground. Excellent defending, particularly of the penalty area, and hopefully that last 30 mins will kick Wirtz on

Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it

RASH GORDON

we've truly gone through a journey when everyone is so sick of pep making football boring and thrilled that a player is being fun again under david moyes.

A bittersweet listen for me. We have just lost a friend who would have absolutely devoured this, and I’m grateful to Juliet and Ed for making me smile today. Give it a listen. It promises to be an informative and funny journey through the last 30 years of British chart music

My firm “no bigots” policy is in place for #LFC & I think someone at the club should be made to explain why they think it’s ok to sign Marc Guehí. Don’t bother with any of your weak as shit excuses for him either. He has never written “Jesus 🖤 You” on the regular armband, so why the rainbow one?

"The former Paris Saint-Germain man bettered Isak for both non-penalty xG and xG Assisted last season. That will count for a lot..." Ekitike is a Red. I wrote about him last week, the paywall is now gone. Give it a read, tell your friends: www.andrewbeasleyfootball.com/p/alexander-...

Beautiful tribute video from LFC. Full love to whoever made it as it was hard enough to watch never mind put together ❤️

Difficult times for the "a hot cup of tea cools you down on a hot day" crowd, who are, and have always been, full of shit

As part of my new book on the Kennedy assassination, I’m writing a “Where were you?” chapter. I’m after interesting stories from people about what they were doing when they heard about the assassination. Reply here or DM me. I realise most of you are ineligible, due to age, so RTs appreciated.

After 33 years of people (subconsciously, actively, desperately) wondering where the iconic commentary sample in the Gazzetta Football Italia title music came from....

Mad

#LFC per game defensive stats: First 34 games Shots 9.5 SOT 3.2 Big Chances 1.8 XGA 0.85 GA 0.94 3 dead rubbers Shots 18.7 +97% SOT 8 +150% BC 3.7 +105% XGA 2.62 +208% GA 2.67 +184%

Pope Leo spotted on the 2005 World Series broadcast

So it turns out my aunt is friends with the actress Pam Ferris, who famously played Miss Trunchbull in the 90s film of Matilda. I learnt this today when my daughter, whose name is Matilda, received an unexpected letter in the post, with a card attached from a very fearsome lady...

a lot of people crediting that goal to Raphinha but I know what you did last, Sommer

“is my calculator horny?“ our tech columnist asks. “i entered 5318008 into it and turned it upside down. what i saw surprised me”

Was a Premier League goal scored by an Ian? 05-06: No 06-07: Yes, Pearce. 07-08: No 08-09: Yes, Ashbee 09-10: No 10-11: Yes, Evatt 11-12: No 12-13: No 13-14: No 14-15: No 15-16: No 16-17: No 17-18: No 18-19: No 19-20: No 20-21: No 21-22: No 22-23: No 23-24: No 24-25: Yes, Maatsen

Liverpool have averaged 0.6 Opta defensive errors leading to shots per game this season. Three inside 33 minutes today.

No player was sent off for two yellow cards against Liverpool between the Octobers of 2015 and 2023. Three players have been sent off for two bookings in Crystal Palace vs Brighton today.

Forgot I was on a phone call about council tax Them: What band are you in Me: Erm, The Charlatans Them: Your council tax band? 😬

I mean, you want to at least be happy for them, and then you remember who owns them

First time we've been 2 goals down all season #lfc

An even and absorbing match tonight. One of Liverpool’s best displays of the season, I thought. But lacking in final third and Paris clearly better over the two games.

I have just been let go from my job and am looking for gainful employment. Expertise in question-writing and copywriting, as well as customer service and organisational tasks and a little bit of sales. Any leads or ideas or directions welcome, and my DMs are open. Thank you!

as they change manager yet again, it’s surely time to dig out the ‘Stoke have never had an overall positive goal difference’ chart

Mohamed Salah has a combined goals and assists tally of 27 in the league this season. It is the joint-78th most in PL history. It matches his PL output in 2020/21. It equals the highest PL output seasons of e.g. Aubameyang, Bergkamp, Costa, Foden, Saha, Ian Wright. We’re not half way yet.

Love how for Sky, Super Sunday and Sunday are separate entities