Just teared up thinking about what a wonderful man Big John is #bosh

Every time I see clips of Starmer’s speech, I just see this: youtu.be/8lMexzk3TA8?...

Guys, do you remember when Dec gave Ant a magic eye book and it made his eyes pop out of his skull, so Dec and Cat started Ant Aid to raise money and they released the charity single Blink for Ant, with Victoria Beckham and Billie Piper and Louise and Martine McCutcheon?

Finding it very hard to sleep lately as I have the folk song/sea shanty Barrett’s Privateers so firmly stuck in my head

Ocean Colour Scene’s Moseley Shoals. Also, if I’m a 34 year old man, he’s listening to Moseley Shoals. Either way, my lungs are filled with secondhand smoke and I’m nauseous

I hate being in London at the best of times, but the heat yesterday was so oppressive that I was almost tempted to jump in the river and drown

Few things bringing me as much joy in life at the moment than the complete shambles that is Sheffield United Football Club

Went to a wedding where 2 speeches were in the form of a poem with an ABAC rhyme scheme. Neither then managed to fit the scansion or rhyme that they had set themselves. Why do it to yourself? And why make me listen? During the second my sister took a drag of her vape and said “I wish this was crack”

Went to the Proms last night (Shostakovich’s 5th) and really enjoyed it, despite not being a big classical guy I really like how at the start the orchestra plays the sound from turning a PlayStation 3 on, presumably to signal that you’re going to have a great time

You know I am old because I’ve just written a letter of complaint to the BBC

Last night was the best night of the year: Fantasy Football Draft night. Unseen are the fake hot takes, limericks and "celebrity" videos that decided the draft order, but who has got the best team?

Shock of my life hearing @loscampesinos.bsky.social in the music round of this week’s Round Britain Quiz on Radio 4 (didn’t help me answer the question, mind)

Palestinian statehood is not a bargaining chip. It is not a threat. It is an inalienable right of the Palestinian people. Our demands on this shameful government remain the same: end all arms sales to Israel, impose widespread sanctions, and stop the genocide, now.

Every day that fucking ham-headed cunt says something to disgust me to levels hitherto unimaginable. Fuck Starmer, fuck Labour.

Heartbreaking to read the Guardian article about mixtapes and none of the anecdotes being about the frankly superb ones I made between 2009 and 2019

Another great day in the office being given nothing to do and mostly reading Wikipedia

Enjoying Steve Reich on Cerys’ 6Music show, but now hankering for the existence of Steve Reich’s Sunday Love Songs

Lot of investigation into John Torode saying a slur on Masterchef, but none into Lisa Egghead saying the n-word twice when I was recording it

Hoping I’m not the only person doing the Barry Friendship double bill in cinemas today

Really think this is my best ever look, but more importantly, any idea who the woman is on the screen?

I’m a punk rocker yes I am

Don’t know who these people are criticising The Bear again this season. Great TV!

My primary memory of 7/7 is getting home from school to a message on Habbo Hotel from a friend asking if I was alright because there’d been an attack, and then never hearing back from them again

Working on an impression of how Richard Kind says John Mulaney’s name during the introductions on Everybody’s Live. Nearly there.

Honestly cannot think of anything more embarrassing than going to a convention and paying for a picture with an actor

My sister lives in Cardiff and my mum has spent the last 24 hours texting the family group chat asking about “the vibe” every ten minutes

Back here after a few months low key menty b break. I have so many stupid thoughts with no where to write them, so look forward to that.

Always wanted Chris Packham to say “sit down Kate, be Humble” on Springwatch

Feeling my most Mugatu “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills” GIF reading through my friends’ positive reviews of Wicked

Every time Michael Dawson is on the telly, I think about how Gavin says he’s his favourite player in Gavin and Stacey. Is this supposed to be a joke about what a wet blanket Gavin is? Why not Ledley King? I’d accept Jermaine Jenas even!

Please, when I die, do not write a poem about me. Especially one with an ABAB rhyme scheme.

You ever feel like there’s a drink you haven’t tried yet and if you have it, everything will feel better? Not even like booze, just like a really great new juice they’ve just invented

Weirdest thing of this whole process is that I’ve found out that LinkedIn has their own series of daily games to play, like they’re the New York Times. And they’re all shit. It’s baffling.

I’ve been emotionally open and honest about my life and it’s meant lots of people have been nice to me and it has completely frozen me because I’m bad at dealing with kindness!

I have just been let go from my job and am looking for gainful employment. Expertise in question-writing and copywriting, as well as customer service and organisational tasks and a little bit of sales. Any leads or ideas or directions welcome, and my DMs are open. Thank you!

SmartQuiz on Zoom at 10. Good vibes and great laughs guaranteed. All welcome. DM me if you want in.

Remember when Weezer released an album called Hurley and the front cover was just a picture of Hurley from LOST? Peak culture

All the best #OnlyConnect teams get knocked out in the QFs

My aunt died. We weren’t close but I feel very thrown by it. Mad that we are mortal. (Well, I’m not but you guys probably are)

There should be a British equivalent of the EGOT where you win an NTA, an Olivier, a BAFTA and a Brit Award. The UK entertainment industry would have a lot of NOBBs.

Shout out to the guy in my screening of The Brutalist who fell asleep within 5 minutes and only woke up for the intermission

Beyond huge

There were two questions in my quiz last night about bones so I called the quiz The Bone Zone and I think that’s now the official name of it. Next Wednesday at 10 on Zoom. Come.

If my letterboxd following list is anything to go by, A Real Pain must be the highest grossing movie of all time

Man on the tram scrolling through pictures of Christina Hendricks: I get it

Completely forgot that Salman Rushdie was in Curb Your Enthusiasm saying “fatwa sex is the best sex there is”

Can yoghurt be too thick for my enjoyment? Yet to find out. Will report back.

Just remembered that Donald Trump has repeatedly referred to McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish as the “Fish Delight”

Wish I could feel anything about the election but it’s not a surprise when the Democrats offered so little. They didn’t praise Hannibal Lecter once on the campaign trail and that means something to people.

Just doing exactly what I’ve been doing for three days now: thinking about Bobby Charlton and crying.