John Dadcock England, Births and Christenings, 1538-1975

They're still fighting over who gets the 20th Century, and they're burning the 21st Century for fuel to do it

The last step of recovery from American fascism should be to bulldoze every golf course on earth. Just to be safe.

lol doesn’t it cost like four thousand bucks a month to sleep indoors in NYC?

What if the human penis looked like a big fat fluffy squirrel? Would men have more sex? Would there be less sex because people would just want to feed the penis peanuts? This paper, will weigh the pros & cons of Squirrel Penis Syndrome (SPS) and describe the virus I have engineered which causes it.

Hop ‘n Gator (1969-1975): A lemon-lime flavored, elctrolyte-enriched alcoholic beverage made with the original Gatorade formula, originally marketed as a "lemon lime lager" then rebranded as “Tropical-Flavored Malt Liquor.” Check this 🧵for a wild ride!

If the track and field team knew about this back in the day there would have been no stopping us on the way to Pittsburgh. There’s an off chance we can buy Gatorade with booze already in it?! Let’s go, we’ll finish this term paper/coitus/conference championship/whatever later! (great thread btw)

What a fascinating historical document. I didn’t know we had color video here in Ohio way back in 1825.

Help yourself to the dish over there. Gotta keep your energy up around the holidays.

Charlie Brown: "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about??" H.R.: "Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about." youtu.be/r326c3DewuE?...

Pole Vault Pole xkcd.com/3183/

Just got back from my first real Aldi trip. Amazing. Everyone was so nice, I’m so good at bagging groceries and also it turns out every other grocery store on earth is a price-gouging scam run by wartime profiteers.

ah yes a true holiday classic

Hell yeah CBUS

All the works of the Noldor in Middle Earth are Doomed to fail—->the fruits of Santa’s workshop are often quick to break and even when well made are eventually outgrown and cast aside.

christmas elves are the last genetic descendants of noldor elves, now the slaves of tom bombadil, who is santa

Never heard of Anthony Joshua before today but I’m a big fan and would very much like him to Do That to Mr. Beast next.

Good writing, even by fanfic standards, but if you follow the lore you'd know the Grinch has a cloaca not a penis, which renders most of this so far outside of the canon that I find it hard to recommend.

wow this sucks real bad. At the time I couldn’t believe he got all that money together and apparently he didn’t. Athletes aren’t even getting paid. #trackandfield #track

those ai dipshits really failed to consider good hammer

Lisan Ball Gaib.

Home alone. Forgot I had the tv on In another room. The Japanese women’s curling team just scared the shit out of me.

This isn’t really news since it happened a while ago but I never really figured out a good (?) time/way to share the information. I was thinking of making a YouTube video but talking about it felt weird. Anyway I spent about $5000 buying David Lynch’s dinner plates this summer.

For sale: baby

Oops! All thumbs

So they gutted the wendys near my house and basically rebuilt the entire thing to be one of those big empty severe modern fast food places. So im not sure its accurate to say I fucked at this wendys. I fucked at what this wendys was, sure. But i didnt fuck where it became. Its a tough one

This is not great diet advice, even for an endurance athlete. He’s completely ignoring an entire macro nutrient: PB&J.

Kid has offered to sweep the stairs but refuses to start at the top. Gotta let ‘em learn figure it out themselves sometimes I guess?

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

so much anger and even rage is useless moral vanity. it is solace in weapons over medicine. that doesn’t mean we do not need to protect each other. but you cannot become embittered and merely a hateful thing. you cannot

Okay is it a head crying into its hands or a head trying desperately to tear out its eyes?

I unironically believe that you should get to call in horny to work at minimum 5 full days out of the year. This could prevent situations like the Olivia Nuzzi stuff from ever happening.

It goes like this: You wrap some gifts To open on the 25th And if it's a PlayStation, hallelujah!

I heard there was a sleigh bell sound That Santa makes, flying around But you don't really care for carols do ya?

Can’t stop rereading this and cackling at a new part every time. The whole exchange is solid gold, the funniest shit in Middle Earth. Love Gandalf’s exit but my favorite part is “Man, if I gotta listen to you talk all day Imma need to smoke.”

Gandalf really said “bro you should hit this shit. Real talk, I think it might help you out a lot”

today in related news, between your end and ours our sewer network is secure but definitely not encrypted. we can see all the content you share.

2025 advent calendar day 2. Luckily you managed to get an emergency appointment for your eye. The doctor said that there shouldn't be any permanent damage, but you have to wear a large bandage for the next couple of weeks. Still. It's cold outside. No harm in staying in.

2025 advent calendar. Day one. You run downstairs, excited to open the first door. A voice in the back of your mind tries to tell you that you didn't actually buy an advent calendar this year—and this wasn't in the house when you went to bed last night—but you push that aside.

Both categories: the 12 Days of Christmas where everyone is Muppets except John Denver

Both categories: the 12 Days of Christmas where everyone is Muppets except John Denver

The second #art poster inspired by the works of Walter Crane, "Labour is Entitled" (2024) is another three cat portrait commission. The slogan itself was first used in the early 19th century. It features three workers in industries vital to cats: fishing, biscuit making, and catnip production.

stop comparing me to the machine . the machine should be compared to me because I can Eat my weight in twizzlers and the machine can’t even piss on command yet

Black Friday update: The thing about staying in this house is that our child has been playing trombone for less than one year. My wife and I are fully acclimated to Trombone Time. It is once again Trombone Time.

Community alert! Authorities have found and raided a black market gravy lab. Parents, please make sure your children understand the dangers of street gravy.

honestly thanksgiving as a holiday should be canceled but we should get 2 1/2 days off, but it should be called like Quiet Time For All and i should be able to just stay at home and not talk to anyone for 2 1/2 days

Whole lotta baking today. A nightcap: two loaves of brown sugar banana bread.

Giving thanks so hard that this recipe for four pumpkin pies came out as five.