DHS Warns Any Action By Americans Will Be Treated As Domestic Terrorism https://theonion.com/dhs-warns-any-action-by-americans-will-be-treated-as-domestic-terrorism/

Addition to my academic honesty/AI policy this semester: You may not put any of my slides or handouts into any AI program including but not limited to ChatGPT. The slides and handouts for this class are my intellectual work. I do not consent to having my labor used to train AI. That is labor theft.

Today New York Gov. Kathy Hochul and Mayor Zohran Mamdani unveiled a plan for universal child care across the state. Governor Hochul also announced that she’s “committing to fully fund the first two years” of Zohran's plan for free preschool for all 2-year-olds.

this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier

Every time I see Brazil take proactive steps to protect democracy by punishing those who attempted to overthrow it.

Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs https://theonion.com/melting-ice-caps-expose-hundreds-of-secret-arctic-lairs-1819571016/

Hot potato leek soup is a tasty treat on a cold day. It comes to us due to the hard work of farm workers like these Central Coast farm workers who have spent their 8-hour day on their knees harvesting this tasty vegetable. #WeFeedYou

the way people talk about “mom’s” getting mad at ICE is kinda cringe, even if it’s praise. they are people, not NPCs, and they’ve probably done courageous things before.

Abolish ICE for Good

it’s the least i can do

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

US media is like: “woman drives away from bullet that eventually catches up and kills her and ICE was nearby”

Side effects may include blaming opioid deaths on oil-rich South American countries.

Minnesota, i have no words. i’m in awe of your strength to keep fighting after seeing what you saw. 💔

Democrats who monotonously invoke the cost of living to avoid addressing other crises also tend to be the same Democrats who oppose any serious policies to address the cost of living

BREAKING Irish Govt to move Grok to another parish.

go viral

ME: How's it look? MECHANIC LOOKING UNDER MY IMAGINATION'S HOOD: *wiping hands on a rag* I see your problem. You've been filling this thing up with despair when it's supposed to run on joy.

The administration is trying to starve childcare facilities of funding to force women out of the workforce

It's like things aren't even cake anymore

Trump is probably making polymarket bets on whether he invades the countries he is threatening.

Yes

any job that pays under $20 should just be given to you without any effort on your part, you should be able to click and now you are employed

Anyone who 1) likes Gavin Newsom 2) said it was “too early to worry” about who’s running 3) believes, like Gavin suggests, that the Democrats lost the election for being “too woke” Is: wrong

BREAKING: X’s chatbot Grok isn’t just making AI porn deepfakes, it’s now making Nazi AI porn deepfakes, undressing women and showing them wearing “swastika bikinis”. Many of these women are Jewish, including a recently deceased Holocaust survivor.

Conway Shitty

Just a reminder that George Conway is not fundraising right now to run against a MAGA republican. He is fundraising to run against progressive Democrats.

I am really not interested in listening to anyone who has been a lifelong diehard Republican cheering the likes of Reagan, George W. Bush and even Trump himself suddenly shrug “my bad” and then start trying to run OUR (very generally speaking) show. Get down into the mines and do penance a while.

META sites are the same. Read a post about company that canceled spending $200k on ads and theirs sales stayed the same. Zombie social media filled with bots.

feeding human-written papers to the plagiarism machine is TRAINING THE PLAGIARISM MACHINE

Let’s not forget J6ers who Trump pardoned were re-arrested for committing murder, sexual assault and soliciting minors.

what’s to stop people from committing arson? folks, what are we doing here?

i think if you held a gun to my head, i couldn't tell you the name of a song that came out in 2025.

if i live in the city i should be able to walk to a noodle cart and get dinner in my own container for $2 like in In The Mood for Love. if not that, then there should be more eateries like at the mall where many restaurants share a dining area. but i don’t want the plastic glaze on mall food

hell hath no fury like a furry scorned

a Pez dispenser for Andes chocolate mints

it’ll be me because i block so much. i block for annoying posts, too many emojis, etc.

Roses are red, Sunlight is bright

there was so much snow that when it started to melt it leaked into the kitchen from the bay window roof

is there really NO ONE at X who is grossed out enough by CSAM that they’d “spill” their soda on the servers? i know it’d be a bit more complicated than that, but someone out there knows how to shut it down.

Elon Musk is producing CSAM the right way. by Ezra Klein

why do people still put those headbands on tiny baby girl infants when their skulls are still soft? (i’m watching Archer)

☢️🚨☢️

☢️🚨☢️

in french they call drinking water "the little drowning"

There’s so much Miller on the timeline, cleansing with Dolly Parton and a cat ✨

“I need 185,000 kids to die every year so 27 other kids get less excited about trains.” - RFK Jr between mouthfuls of raw yak meat

*buys up all the surplus desserts at the grocery store* yeah, i’m doing Pie January